


The Pact

by smirkslightly



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death Threats, Discussion of Abortion, Explicit Language, Grief/Mourning, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Pining Roronoa Zoro, Post-Divorce, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smirkslightly/pseuds/smirkslightly
Summary: Zoro and Sanji have known each other for years, and Zoro has spent most of them, hiding his true feelings from Sanji.When an opportunity suddenly arises for Zoro to confess his feelings, and an old promise between them comes to light again, Zoro decides this is his last chance to tell Sanji that he loves him.Can Zoro finally find the courage to create the future with Sanji he's always wanted? Or will  he continue to get in his own way?





	1. Takeoff

“Love is a serious mental disease.” ~ Plato

* * *

They are twenty when they make the pact. Twenty years old, and stupid and young and reckless and both broken hearted. Although the degree of broken heart is varying and the type of stupid and reckless is different. 

Zoro’s just been dumped, sure, but it doesn't bother him all that much. It _is_ right before his birthday, but he supposes that’s just one more sting to a paper cut. Manageable.

It was a causal relationship, like all his relationships are. It was about having fun and having sex. He enjoyed their company but knew it wasn't serious. Zoro likes it that way. His future career doesn't really allow him to have many long-term relationships anyways, especially since he’s always travelling. Being a pilot is challenging like that.

But even if his relationship was casual, it wasn't meaningless. There is still the sting of rejection, and the contemplating that maybe he’s made a mistake. That maybe he should settle down and look for a real relationship. Who knows? Maybe that relationship could evolve into something deeper and more meaningful. Maybe he’s missed his chance?

It’s right around then when the cook stumbles in.

The cook, unlike Zoro is fully drunk and fully broken hearted. He barges into Zoro's apartment without knocking and is holding a wine bottle in his hands, which he guzzles. He grins happily at Zoro.

"Heard you were dumped too," Sanji slurs. Then at Zoro's nod, holds up the wine bottle almost in a cheer and says, " Does your misery want some company?"

And Zoro, of course nods his head.

Sanji sits, or more like tumbles onto the couch.

Zoro sips his beer nervously, and tries to ignore, like he usually does, the unresolved feelings churning inside him…

Zoro has known Sanji for six years, ever since their first day of high school. 

And upon their very first meeting they’d hated each other right away. 

Zoro thought Sanji was the worst of condescending straight men, who was totally insecure in his own masculinity and so fucking arrogant about everything around him too. He was a pain in the ass, always whining and always making these jabs at Zoro that had him reeling like no one else ever did.

But of course, that had changed.

As Zoro had started to explore more with his sexuality and he realized that he was attracted to anyone. It didn’t matter what gender as long as they had a strong personality and an attitude to match, they were someone Zoro wanted. And as he was realizing that, he also started to realize that the cook wasn't so bad. In fact, they might even be friends.

And then suddenly they were friends. And then Zoro started to realize that maybe Sanji was his _best_ friend, because the shit cook actually had some great qualities about him. In fact, some qualities that Zoro might be searching for in a partner... in fact some traits that he could never seem to find in anyone else. And damn, the cook was hot. It had stared out with hatred, then attraction and had morphed into something else.

Throughout college Zoro had wrestled with this something else and had confirmed in first year after one significant and yet simple moment that he was in love with the shit cook.

He had worked very hard to surpass those feelings, because Sanji was – and is- straight. As straight as they came, and he only sees Zoro as a friend.

But when in second year, at twenty years old, Sanji barges into his apartment, drunk and miserable, Zoro can’t help but feel a surge of those traitorous emotions.

"So, Mossy, what happened with you?" Sanji asks him, his hand still tight around the wine bottle, his eyes still glazed, and his smile stretched and fake across his drunken face.

Zoro shrugs trying to not linger on Sanji's lips for too long. Not that Sanji will notice in his state.

"He dumped me," Zoro says, before he’s thought about it.

It isn’t exactly a secret that he dates men. But he usually avoids the topic with Sanji. It’s been tricky, but he's convinced his other friends to keep it quiet around the cook too. His excuse is that Sanji will make fun of him (to the eye rolls and protests of his friends) but the real reason is he’s afraid it will make the cook wary of him. He’s afraid their relationship might change. Plus, if Sanji thinks, he is firmly straight he can get away with a hug or a lean on the arm. He can carry the cook home when he’s too drunk. And he can have these feelings for Sanji without him being suspicious...

It isn't exactly healthy, and he will have to tell him eventually, but there never seems to be a good time.

Although now he’s blurted it out, and it’s too late to take it back.

With a mental shrug and a surge of fear in his heart he awaits the blonde’s reaction.

Sanji blinks stupidly for a moment and then looks confused.

"Did you say _he_?" He asks.

Zoro nods firmly, waiting, staring ... hoping.

Sanji cracks a large smile.

"Ha! I knew it! I always suspected you liked men! Why didn’t you tell me?"

Zoro shrugs again, relief taking over the panic. And he realizes he’s been stupid. Like Sanji will care about something so minor as who Zoro sleeps with.

Sanji turns thoughtful all the sudden, and he tapes the wine bottle to his lips.

"Men..." He says slowly, " Are they easier to date then women?"

Now that was an unexpected question.

Zoro stares at him for a full minute. Sanji still looks curious when meeting Zoro's eyes with his own bright blue ones.

"Uh, well I don't really think about it in terms of gender usually. I'm attracted to personalities. But I guess men on average are more low maintenance,” He says, turning thoughtful himself. “Although that's not always true, I've had women who were chill, and men be a pain. And I suppose men don’t take as long to get ready. … Although that’s also not always true either-"

Sanji interrupts Zoro’s rambling swiftly, obviously not really having paid attention to him in the first place.

"Because, you know I love women. I really, really do. They’re so great. So soft and they smell good, like all the time, and they laugh so nicely. It’s like... champagne and strawberries..." Sanji trails off dreamingly again and Zoro chugs his beer, feeling sour.

Sanji snaps back after a moment, getting back to his train of thought. " But… and moss head if you repeat this I'll find you and kill you, " He says glaring at Zoro furiously. Zoro nods in agreement, more than a little curious what Sanji is going to confess. Sanji glares at him for another few seconds, but eventually continues his thought, quieter, like he’s confessing, "But... I get... tired sometimes. _Tired_."

This is a rather vague statement, but it also makes Zoro's heart thrum again. Sanji is tired of… women?

At that thought there is a large heart wrenching moment when Zoro imagines Sanji telling him he wants to experiment, and Zoro being the closest guy there and a good friend, graciously offers his services…

His normal fantasies of Sanji, fantasies he has all too frequently, take off in his mind before he can stop them. Fantasies of Sanji in little to no clothing, Sanji smirking at him, wetting his cherry lips, and whispering dirty things in Zoro’s ear…

He only snaps out of it when Sanji starts speaking again. Zoro is pretty invested in this by now. Very invested.

"Just I wish... sometimes…" Sanji pauses again, his eyes distant, and then he turns them towards Zoro and it breaks Zoro's heart when he sees how _sad_ they are.

"I wish… they'd love me as much as I love them. It’s tiring you know, being the one who always loves someone more than they love me. And I don’t mind usually. I mean if you think about it I'm just lucky. _Lucky_ to be with _them_. But I wish… you know… like the movies... I could have that kind of _trust_ in someone. Like a friend… or ..." Sanji trails off again and he hiccups slightly.

Zoro's chest feels tight as he watches Sanji. Sanji, who is usually so strong and so confident about himself, sharing his deepest doubts and insecurities about not being loved. And here Zoro sits, loving him so _fiercely._ Zoro wishes he could shake Sanji and knock some sense into him. Sanji is the best person that Zoro’s ever met. Sanji deserves to be loved in the fullest. And _Zoro_ does love Sanji like that, more than any woman ever had or probably ever would. Zoro even knows exactly how Sanji feels, because he also wishes Sanji loved him back just as fiercely. And what irony is that. How unfair for both of them-

And then Sanji says it.

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Sanji perks up, losing the sad look and grinning at Zoro with his brightest smile.

It makes Zoro's heart shudder again. Sanji is putting it through a lot tonight. 

"What?" Zoro asks, and his voice is husky.

"You know how people make those… those pacts?" Sanji asks with a another hiccup.

"What’re you talking about?" Zoro asks, with a small disappointed sigh at the topic change. Apparently, they’re done talking about Sanji’s feelings and the possibility of him not being interested in women anymore....

"You know, if we don't find love or get married in ten years kind of pacts?" Sanji says again, his grin still plastered on.

"You're not making any fucking sense shit cook."

And then Sanji sighs and shakes his head like Zoro is the one who is being stupid here.

"Zoro, I'm saying that in ten years if we don't find anyone, we should get married!"

Zoro's heart freezes, his whole body freezes, and he’s pretty sure hell does too.

Sanji said … _what?_

"What?" Zoro asks and his voice is a few octaves higher than normal.

Sanji laughs at Zoro’s shocked expression and keeps going unabashedly.

“It’s perfect Zoro!" Sanji exclaims. "You like men anyways and we're friends! If by the time I’m thirty and don't have someone, then we should just do it! I'll probably never find love with a woman by that point anyway. And this way it'd be like… you know… equal! It'd be - be great. I'd cook! And you could take me on like vacations. And then I could argue legalities or something..."

Zoro just stares. Sanji is talking crazy right now. He’s too drunk and doesn’t know what he’s saying. And ten years is a fucking long time to wait if he was serious...

But can this be a sign? A sign, finally, that Sanji has something more in his heart for Zoro? That maybe Sanji isn’t as straight as he pretends to be? Should Zoro just say fuck it and try to make a move?

"You want to make a pact?" Zoro asks just to confirm. "To get married in ten years if no one else is in our lives?"

"Yup!" Sanji says with a nod. "Although, if I'm a proper law student I should write it as a contract... oh!" He sits up. " Shit of course, I'll _make_ us a contract. Hold on moss head." And Sanji finally releases the wine bottle and shakily heads to the kitchen, where Zoro probably keeps pens.

Sanji quickly locates a pen and a takeout napkin, and he comes back to fall on the couch again, grinning at Zoro happily.

"Alright. Here we go, I'll write us up a leally - legibly- _legally_ binding contract."

And Sanji starts writing. Zoro just stares.

Zoro knows that, rationally, this is just some kind of stupid drunk…thing. That Sanji probably won’t remember it in the morning, and he should just laugh and humor him.

Zoro shouldn’t be taking it seriously, he shouldn’t have his heart beating in his chest this rapidly.

Oh fuck. He can’t sign that.

He can’t live with even an ounce of hope, even a scribbled-out napkin of hope, that Sanji might somehow, someday, want him. That will not be good for his foolish heart, not good for anything.

"There!" Sanji says with a flourish, and Zoro looks and sees Sanji has written up a short paragraph with legal phrases here and there, and then has signed underneath it.

He hands Zoro the pen and grins at him happily.

"Here. Sign on the dotted line."

Zoro stares at the pen, then back to the drunk blonde, and then at the pen again.

And maybe he is a bit more buzzed then he thought, or maybe he really is just laughing at it as a stupid drunk joke… or maybe he thinks that somehow this means Sanji and him have a chance.

Whatever the reason is, whether it’s a good or horrible decision, he takes the pen and signs.

* * *

 9 years, 11 months and 20 days later.

10 days from now.

 

Zoro yawns sleepily and reaches out a hand to stop the annoying buzzing permanenting the early morning air.

Its humid out today, and Zoro feels it even as he's waking up. It feels thick on his tongue and sits on his body like a blanket.

Obviously, he's somewhere warmer than the usual American atmosphere. He blinks blurrily at his surroundings and sees he's in some sort of room that also looks like a work space and an airplane hangar.

And then he remembers he flew to Peru and landed a few hours ago.

He flies around so much it sometimes takes a moment for him to remember what city, or even what country he's in.

He yawns again and looks at the time, the clock reads 6:30am. He knows that he’s got to leave around 7 if he wants to make headway and get back to America on time as scheduled.

He sighs and rubs his eyes. That means ... getting up.

He forces himself to sit up on the couch he’s occupying.

He technically had a hotel, but he must have fallen asleep in the workshop working on Kitetsu.

His suspicions are confirmed when he looks down and sees his pants and hands are covered with grease.

The door to his left suddenly bangs open letting in streaks of the sunrise and a shadowy hulking figure in the in the doorway.

"Morning bro," Franky says happily as he walks further inside carrying two coffee cups.

"Hey Franky," Zoro replies tiredly and reaches up thankfully for the cup. Coffee is life. Coffee is everything.

"Sleep OK?" Franky asks cheerily blowing on his coffee and taking a seat beside Zoro.

"As well as I can on this fucking couch," Zoro mumbles and sips his own coffee. Its absolute shit, cheap and grainy and exactly what he needs. So, heaven.

Franky chuckles lightly. " Well I told you it was good to go. As the technical mechanic you could have just trusted me."

"And as the owner of Kitetsu and a mechanic myself I had to check. You know how Kitetsu gets, she's temperamental sometimes. "

Franky chuckles again but nods in agreement too.

"So, is she ready good to go then?"

"Yeah I think so. I should just give her a double check once more. Want to make sure the gauge levels even out, and the air pressure is fine..."

"OK but hurry it up a bit. I want to get moving. It’s hot as hell out there, and it’s not even dawn yet," Franky says with a heavy sigh.

Zoro grunts, his mind already on what he needs to do to Kitetsu before he can get her to fly.

"I'm so happy we're going back to the states in a few days. This week’s schedule has been crazy. I'm starting to forget what Robin looks like," Franky pouts again, talking large gulps of coffee as he does.

Zoro grunts again, this time paying more attention.

He also wants to head back home. Being a delivery pilot is great, and something he'll always wanted to do, but it does mean not being able to visit home nearly enough.

In fact, it had been almost six months since he had been back to America, and he's barely talked to anyone, besides a few emails here and there, and maybe a rare phone call. It’s lonely, and Zoro’s glad Franky at least came with him this time around. Although they are both more than ready to go home.

He can't wait to see Luffy and Ace. Not to mention Chopper. And Usopp, and Brook and even that witch Nami. Robin as well he was missing, although not as much as Franky.

And then of course there was the cook.

Not much has really change since he was twenty. Except maybe he's gotten much better at ignoring his unwanted feelings.

He might have held out some hope in college. That was perhaps when Sanji and himself were the closest. Sanji had even been his roommate in the last year of their school, and Zoro had been thinking of confessing his feelings.

But then Sanji and Zoro had graduated. They'd move into another apartment together, each starting off in their respected careers. Sanji as a lawyer. Zoro as a commercial pilot.

They’d lived like that for a year out of college. Everyday Zoro had fallen more and more in love with Sanji and more and more determined to confess...but fuck they were busy. New careers and new stresses weren’t the best time to talk about it. He always thought he’d have time later. Maybe when Sanji hinted again that he wasn’t entirely straight, like the night they’d made the pact....

And then Sanji had met Pudding. And everything had changed.

Pudding and Sanji had fallen in love, hard and fast. And before Zoro had known it, a mere year and a half after they’d met, and they were getting married.

Zoro felt like his life had ended when he'd attended the wedding. He’d been Sanji's fucking _best man_. It had been rough, but he'd ultimately gotten through it.

It was right around then that he'd stopped flying for commercial airlines (not that he'd spent long with them anyway) and started his own delivery business with Franky. He'd asked his uncle for help in building it and had even named his first plane after Kuina’s old one, Wado.

So, he’d thrown himself into the business of delivering things for FedEx and other shipping companies and flown around the world, barely seeing his friends, and more importantly barley seeing Sanji.

Sanji’s been married to Pudding for four years now, almost five. And he’s happy. Fucking happy and wonderful and everything is rainbows and butterflies in the Sanji Black and Pudding Charlotte household.

Sanji is a successful lawyer in the big city with a beautiful wife who is probably going be pregnant soon. They have perfect lives, with bowling tournaments, and barbeques ever weekend. With kisses each morning and long talks about mortgages and grandchildren and -

And Zoro flies around the world. Having causal sex and looking for distractions and even hoping for love so that he won’t have to think about Sanji again.

But Zoro isn't dwelling on that shit anymore. He likes his life. He loves flying. He will soon fulfill his ultimate dream of being the best pilot in the world. He doesn’t need anything else. And if he did want companionship then he can just call up his usual lays when he gets back to America. Peroni, Daze, Wiper, Saga, Bonny. Even Ace might be into it. Depending on his single status.

Zoro can even try to meet someone again, maybe, cautiously look around for someone to finally catch his eye like a blonde cook used to (still did) and make any hole he feels fill up and any lingering flame distinguished.

"Zoro? Bro? You listening to me?"

Zoro blinks at Franky’s voice and realizes that he's completely zoned out for way too long. He gives Franky a sheepish smile. “Er... what.?"

Franky sighs heavily, rolls his eyes and throws out his paper coffee cup. “I said let’s get going man. We've got to get to back to America, the mosquitoes are killing me here."

* * *

Zoro with a deep happy sigh grins as he soars over the expansive earth beneath him. There’s really nothing like flying. Nothing like it at all. It’s only up here he feels truly free, as cliché as it sounds.

But how can he not feel free when he soars above the clouds and sees the tiny people below him, and realizes his problems are as tiny as they are? There’s nothing like flying to clear his mind and relax him.

Flying is in his blood too. His uncle and sister had owned an old hangar that had been with their family since World War Two. It was filled with old crop duster planes that were rusty and barely got off the ground. The only plane that was worth anything was Kuina’s Ichimonji.

But that plane was destroyed when Kuina had fell from the sky, when she was only fifteen.

Zoro had used some of the parts of the Ichimonji recovered from the crash to build the Wado. After he’d built it, he knew that Wado was the plane he’d fly in when he'd become the best flyer in the world.

Zoro had been striving to be the best damn pilot in the world, in a variety of ways. He'd explored a lot of flying in his twenties, with his delivery business his only source of income. Otherwise, he'd done contract work, sometimes even for the military.

He still did it now, just so that he can one day meet the most amazing flyer alive: Mihawk. Mihawk is like a pilot legend. He’s a contract flyer like Zoro and no one really knows much else about him. But the stories of him are numerous. Zoro hopes that one day he'll meet him, out fly him and finally prove that he’s the best pilot in the world.

Zoro finds himself grinning just thinking about it.

A loud snore from the copilot seat has him turning and rolling his eyes at Franky, who is snoozing hard and snoring louder.

Zoro can always count on Franky to fall asleep almost instantly on any kind of plane ride. It’s pretty funny and reminds him of Ace’s narcolepsy but less dramatic. It’s nice when Franky is asleep because Zoro gets to sit in solitude and peace while he flies. He’s able to soar soundly with nothing but the hum of the engine and Franky’s snores to break up the silence. Nothing is more meditative, besides actually meditating, than this.

And he's almost home too. He's flown this path so many times now, he can even identify the familiar landscape as he approaches. Soon he sees the familiar landing strip in their own home-made airspace. A slightly run-down place that Zoro converted into his center for his business.

Zoro feels the grin tugging hard on his mouth. He missed home, and damn it feels good to be back.

He lands the plane expertly, not even waking Franky with the landing.

He _does_ wake Franky a moment later with a punch to the arm though, to which Franky snaps his head up with a loud snore and looks around bleary eyed.

"What?" he says sleepily.

"Start unloading, we're here," Zoro commands and gets out of the pilot seat with a stretch.

He turns and walks through the small plane, until he opens the side door, and unloads the step ladder to the ground. He lowers himself unto the short steps, ignoring the many packages stored in the plane for now. Franky slept all the way here while Zoro flew, so he can deal with unloading for now. Zoro meanwhile has an old man to greet.

Koshiro is waiting for him near the door of the warehouse, right beside were the plan is landed. He looks calm and composed as always. His glasses perched on the end of his nose and a soft smile the only indication he's pleased to see Zoro.

Zoro feels his own grin widen as he hops down the last of the steps and heads towards Koshiro, who now has white hair and a few more wrinkles then when Zoro first met him on this very air field.

He doesn’t hug Koshiro, but he does give him a small bow.

Koshiro gives him a bow in return and nods his smile widening.

"Welcome home, Son."

* * *

After Franky and Zoro have finished unpacking the plane and putting it safely in the warehouse. Zoro checks over Wado happily, and even looks in on the newest plane that Koshiro purchased, and Franky promised to help fix up.

"It has potential," Zoro comments as he carefully examines the newest plane, named Yubashiri.

"Yes. Your mechanic friend will be able to help us sufficiently I hope?" Koshiro asks pleasantly from the doorway.

Zoro grunts in agreement and ducks out from where he was looking at the plane’s engine. That is an impressive piece of machinery. He’s rather impressed Koshiro found such a good plane, on their tight budget. The only concern Zoro can see is the rust creeping around the edges.

"Come," Koshiro says lightly, and gestured to his office. Zoro follows him quickly and finds the impeccably neat office space is, as always, warm and inviting.

Koshiro gracefully hands Zoro a cup of tea, without asking and seats himself on a chair, gesturing Zoro to take the couch.

"How was the trip? Any issues?" Koshiro asks lightly over the top of his tea mug.

"No. It all went smoothly. We even were able to save money on gas when they gave us some free fuel for advertising," Zoro informs Koshiro briskly.

This is the usual standard of conversation for them. Zoro would talk about his flight and then Koshiro would start informing Zoro about his end of the business.

Instead, Koshiro puts down his tea and levels Zoro with a stare that Zoro can’t quite interpret. 

"What is it?" Zoro asks nervously and places his tea down on the table as well.

"I feel I should inform you of some troubling news," Koshiro says slowly his eyes searching Zoro's face as he does so.

A horrible fleeing flips through Zoro's stomach and he feels terror grip his heart. This reminds him painfully of when he heard the news of Kuina’s death. And he isn’t sure he can take it if someone else he cares about has died...

"It’s nothing too serious," Koshiro quickly reassures, obviously seeing something like panic come over Zoro's face. "All of your friends and family are physically fine."

Zoro sighs in relief and nods.

"But,” Koshiro says slowly, " I believe Mr. Black has just finalized his divorce."

Zoro stares at Koshiro for what must be a good solid five seconds before Zoro's processes his words.

"What?" Zoro asks, quietly, uncomprehendingly.

"Yes, it seems in fact he was separated about the time you left and he’s only now finalizing things."

Zoro's mind is spinning. Sanji is getting a divorce. Sanji. Who had been head over heels in love with Pudding and was so very happy. What on earth happened?

Granted he's never liked Pudding, but he's always thought that was because he was insanely jealous. But why the hell would Sanji give that up? Was he not happy like Zoro thought?

And what does this mean for Zoro himself...?

But Zoro knows he shouldn’t be thinking about himself right now. He turns back to Koshiro, keeping his expressions carefully schooled.

"Alright so the shit cook is divorced. Too bad and everything but why are you telling me like it’s so damn important?"

Koshiro gives Zoro a deadpan look that seems to ask if Zoro really wants to do this. After a moment, in which Zoro gives no answer to the silent question, Koshiro says, "Your friends have been very upset about it. I assumed you'd want to know."

"Why would I be upset about it?" Zoro asks quickly not looking Koshiro in the eyes, feeling a slight blush growing on his face.

Koshiro is quiet again and then he sighs heavily. "Zoro, even I can tell, after all these year of being that man's friend that you-"

But Zoro suddenly can’t stand to hear that Koshiro knows about his feelings for Sanji and probably has always known. And that, along with everyone else, pities Zoro as well. So, he interrupts him quickly.

"What happened to their marriage? Thought he was over the moon?" Zoro's last statement comes out a bit more bitter then he intended. No wonder everyone knows about his stupid heart pinning after the cook. Damn.

Koshiro again pauses for a moment, obviously debating if he should press the subject about Zoro's feelings or answer his questions.

Apparently, Koshiro decides in favor of not talking about feelings, and says, "I believe you’ll have to ask your friends. It was Miss Mikan that informed me of the affair. She told me to tell you when you got back.”

At that Zoro's head suddenly pops up and he groans. 

"Oh crap. I forgot that stupid witch," He grumbles angrily glaring off to the side.

"Is this something I want to know?" Koshiro sighs calmly.

"Just a bet I made with Nami at Sanji's wedding. I bet that Sanji's marriage would last and Nami said it wouldn't. Shit. I was an idiot making a bet with Nami. That's probably why she told you, just to collect her damn money."

Koshiro is quiet but Zoro can _feel_ his amusement.

"Well it seems Miss Mikan had more of a pessimistic outlook then you did."

"I guess."

He isn't really paying attention as things begin to collide and reassemble in his head. Questions upon questions seem to overlap and pile up as his mind takes off.

Sanji isn't with Pudding anymore. What broke them up? What happened? And what did Nami know? She knew about his crush on Sanji but Nami was also Sanji's best friend, did Sanji tell Nami anything about the whole affair? What happened between the two of them? And what was Sanji doing now? _How_ was Sanji doing now?

Probably not great.

Zoro winces just thinking about Sanji's fall out from this. Sanji had always put 110 % of his heart into every relationships he was in. His girlfriends in high school and college had all been showered with affection and love. Sanji had done everything for them and more. He would have jumped off cliffs and slit his wrists if they'd asked him too. This usually meant a lot of girls took advantage of him and then broke his heat. And Zoro remembered what heartbroken Sanji was like, depressed and full of true despair. The only thing that ever got Sanji out of the funk was another relationship and then, like a vicious cycle, it would start all over again.

Pudding hadn’t been like that though, she'd been sweet and shared interests with Sanji. Sanji and her had gotten along, and she'd never taken advantage of him.

Zoro still hadn't liked her much, but everyone else had. They thought Pudding was the best thing to happen to Sanji, besides Zoro himself. But Zoro and Sanji were never going to happen no matter how much Zoro, and his friends, wanted it too. Zoro just had to deal with it.

But now ...

"Zoro?" Koshiro 's voice suddenly breaks the comfortable silence.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"I was just asking about the fuel prices. I was hoping to talk to you about that as well as the schedule coming up..."

And just like that they are both back on track, talking about the business of delivering packages through the air. Zoro shoves all thoughts about Sanji deliberately to the back of his mind and focuses as much as he could on Koshiro and the business they’d built together.

Still though, even with his highly honed self-control, he feels impatient to be released. He wants to go talk to Franky, and then call up Nami or better yet Robin or Ace and ask them what the hell was happening with Sanji.

Koshiro seems to sense this, if those quiet amused smiles were anything to go by, and he ends the conversation a bit earlier than usual.

"I'm sure you are tired. We'll talk more about the schedule tomorrow," Koshiro says finishing his tea. Zoro does as well, trying to hide his eagerness.

"See you tomorrow," Zoro says standing up and heading to the door.

"Good night my son," Koshiro mumbles. With a final wave, Zoro heads down toward the cabin where he last saw Franky. Koshiro usually sleeps in the room above hangar, and the cabin is usually reserved for Zoro and the few other employees and pilots they had working for them. By the light of the main entry, Zoro figures Franky is already in there.

He only hears the hum of the heaters, and the sounds of June bugs and crickets in the night as he hurries towards the cabin. It’s a peaceful night around Zoro, but inwardly he feels like a storm is brewing inside him. Questions and emotions rise and fall in him like ocean waves.

And just as he is about to enter the cabin he looks up and sees the moon is bright and shining down on him.

And a small smile pulls at his mouth. A full moon the night he finds out Sanji is single again?

Maybe this is one of those stupid signs of fate or destiny that Sanji is always going on about…

With a small shake of his head and a laugh under his breath, Zoro heads into the cabin hoping to grab a phone as soon as possible.


	2. Bleed Air

“To invent an airplane is nothing. To build one is something. But to fly is everything.” ~ Otto Lilienthal

* * *

15 years ago

 

Zoro stares out at the people all dressed in black, glaring at them all.

He feels angry. But then again, he's been feeling angry ever since he heard the news. It hasn’t gone away either, and all he wants to do is scream at all these _people_ and tell them to leave, to go, to never show their unworthy faces here in front of this white coffin, because Kuna was too good for all of them.

As Zoro thinks Kuina’s name, and it rockets around his skull a few times, he only feels the anger swell up too…can only think how horribly _unfair_ this whole fucking thing is.

Zoro isn't sure who he's mad at even. Maybe its Koshiro for the way he told Zoro, in that stupid unfeeling way he has. Calm and silent and without a trace of emotion anywhere.

It might just be Kuina herself.

It feels like only seconds ago he’d been racing her in their plane. She’d been fifteen and already allowed to fly. Kuina had gotten the better time in their race. Every time.

Zoro had asked Kuina to fly at night, thinking he'd be better at it, but of course he hadn’t. Of course not.

Kuina had won, like she always did. Fifteen and the best flyer around. And Zoro was never going to catch up.

They'd made a promise to each other, to make sure that one of them became the best in the world.

And then she had _broken_ that promise. And now she’s dead.

She had fallen. Fallen in her plane and left them all alone.

And fuck it, what had she been thinking!? Flying in that storm! What had she been doing!?

And maybe Zoro is mad at the world that made Kuina feel so shitty because of her gender. Maybe Zoro is angry that Kuina had thought she wouldn’t get anywhere as a female pilot. Maybe he’s pissed off at the fucking storm for blowing her into the ground when all she wanted to do was fly!

Maybe he’s angry at himself for not being there for her. Maybe he’s pissed at himself for thinking he could ever beat her. Angry because he still wishes she was around because he selfishly wants to cry on her shoulder and let her convince him that she is alive and whole, and everything will be alright.

He doesn’t know which it is. All he knows is that he’s angry.

The priest is done speaking now, and what a bullshit speech it was. About how Kuina is in a better place, about how they can all hope to see her in the next world.

Zoro might not know why he’s angry but he knows it’s not at God. There's absolutely no point in being mad _at_ God because he doesn’t exist, and nothing threw Kuina down from the sky but herself. Without a God, the sky had always been for Kuina and Zoro to take for their own ... and now it’s just Zoro alone to do the taking…

And now the people are throwing dirt on the coffin.

Koshiro walks up first grips a handful and mumbles something. Zoro can only catch a few Japanese like syllables but not the whole thing. He throws the dirt and it makes a hollow sound when it lands on the pristine white surface.

Then everyone is staring at him. Waiting for him to put some dirt on Kuina too.

He takes a step forward and imagines her again. Black hair with a hint of blue, dark eyes, a soul full of desire, and _always_ ready to fly.

And now she won’t ever do that again. She's stuck six feet underground. The opposite of flying. It’s the last thing she would have wanted.

And they want him to help bury her.

Well like fuck he's doing that.

He instead turns away and throws the dirt, letting the wind catch it as it pulls away from the circle of people.

They all grumble but he ignores them and stares at her coffin.

"I'll be the best for both of us," He mumbles, and then he's racing away, after the dirt he threw in the air, because he can’t take looking at the white coffin anymore and thinking of her.

He runs down the cemetery’s green hill and isn't surprise when he doesn’t hear Koshiro coming after him.

He's relived that no one else decided to either. He wants to be alone. He has to get used to the feeling.

He stumbles down the hill and finds a tree sticking up next to the fenced in cemetery and stops beside it. The tears are already flowing hot and thick down his face. He places a hand on the tree to steady himself as he bends over as if he's going to throw up.

The sounds of footstep on the soft grass alerts him that he was followed after all.

He gulps back the sobs and wipes his face. He straightens up to growl a whoever it is and is pulled up short when he sees the last person he expected or _wanted_ to see.

It’s that damn cook. And fuck it all he can’t believe that the shit c _ook_ out of _everyone_ is here.

And then Zoro is suddenly unbelievable relived that it’s the cook. Because, holy fuck, he's so angry right now, and if there's anyone he wants to kick in the face it’s this absolute bastard.

"Hey," the cook says uneasily to Zoro. "You alright?"

" Luffy tell you to come after me?" Zoro sneers at the cook ignoring the question, and already guessing what might have happened. Luffy was there, and Luffy probably would have come after Zoro. But maybe Luffy had sent Sanji knowing the Zoro needed a punching bag. Luffy could have taken it, but Zoro actually likes Luffy. He hates fucking Sanji.

"No,” Sanji says calmly, his icy blue eyes stare at Zoro carefully, as if Zoro is a wounded animal that might attack him at any moment.

"Well then fuck off," Zoro snarls, hoping instead Sanji will attack.

But he doesn’t do either. He just stands there, his icy eyes drilling into Zoro.

"Look, Zoro- " Sanji starts to talk again but Zoro interrupts him.

"Oh, its Zoro now? You call me Moss head and Marimo and all sorts of insults, but when my sister dies it’s my name? What the fuck is wrong with you? You think I can't take the insults now?"

Sanji looks a bit bewildered by Zoro's sudden tirade, and Zoro is also surprised to find that he took a step towards Sanji, his anger simmering beneath his skin like a fire. He clenches his hands into fists to stop himself from just attacking the blonde right then and there, like he really, really wants to do.

Sanji pauses and seems to really think about what he's about to say before he starts talking again.

"You can hit me if you want."

Zoro … is not expecting that.

Sure, Zoro wants a fight, but he thought Sanji would sneer at him and kick him himself. They’d never really let each other have free shots.

And sadly, Zoro feels very insulted. So Sanji thinks he can take Zoro’s hit? He thinks that Zoro gets a free grief punch or something?

Well, hell no is Zoro going to take a free shot, a _pity_ shot. That won’t do anything. He wants to earn his hits and beat the cook in a bloody fight.

And he wants the cook to attack first so he has an excuse to do so too. So that he can say the shitty cook attacked him at his sister’s funeral and so he beat him half to death.

Yes, the anger is real now. Half to death sounds good. That shitty cook has had it coming for a while now.

He just needs to say some things to get it to happen.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" Zoro snarls, taking another step forward. Sanji doesn’t back down. He never does. “Why are you even here cook? You trying to pretend we’re friends?! We both know we hate each other! You think I really want to see you after someone I loved died!? You think I want to have you here?! Of course, I wouldn’t want a fucking sexist idiot at my sister’s funeral! She was braver then any man in the world! She could defeat me and you without batting an eye! I know how you think women are! And my sister would have hated you! I'm glad you never knew her! I'm glad you didn't stink up the room with your fucking ugly stench of machoism and patriarchal superiority! I wish that she was alive, and YOU were dead instead!"

As soon as the last words leave Zoro's mouth, he realizes he's gone way too far. Half the stuff he said wasn't even true. And that last one... shit that was the immense anger talking.

But he can’t take it back now, and the words echo through the cemetery. Zoro stands there, fists clenched and breathing hard, staring at the cook.

Sanji doesn’t seem fazed by Zoro's harsh words. His stance is still relaxed, his hands shoved into his black suit. No blue shirt today though, black shirt, grey tie. Grief in style.

Sanji's blue eyes are crystals in a pale face. They seem to glow and spark and are solid and just won’t break... harder than the sky but just as encompassing and just as endless...

"Just hit me Zoro,” Sanji says again. " It will make you feel better."

And Zoro’s guilt disappears suddenly, and the anger comes back tenfold. He sees red and with a scream he leaps forward, and does what the shit cook told him to, and punches the guy in the face.

Sanji stumbles but stays standing, which isn’t what Zoro wants at all.

He goes to attack him again, but apparently one punch is all he gets.

And Sanji fights back.

And soon they're fighting like they always do, and yet totally different.

There's no holding back on Zoro’s part right now. Every punch he throws is filled with all his anger and all his hate. Not really at the cook. He doesn’t really hate the cook at all. No, he finally starts to understand as Sanji fights him.

He’s really angry because he has to live in a world where Kuina is gone.

When Sanji manages to kick Zoro hard enough for Zoro to land heavily on the ground, winded and sore, Zoro's anger finally begins to fade, and he finds he’s not blindly angry anymore. Just… tired.

Much too tired to fight anymore. So instead, he stares up at the sky.

He hears Sanji shuffling around, but when Zoro doesn’t get up, Sanji doesn’t attack.

Instead Zoro sees him out of the corner of his eye sit down beside Zoro's sprawled out figure.

He turns his head slightly to view the cook and sees Sanji looks scuffed up and his lip is bleeding and there’s a bruise blossoming on his eye where Zoro punched him.

"I'm really sorry about Kuina," Sanji says into the calm quiet they’d created. "It’s not fair and it’s not right. Its shitty and I'm sorry she died, and I'm sorry you’re sad and angry about it."

Zoro stares, shocked, at Sanji's head, his blonde hair obscuring his face.

Sanji turns towards him then his blue eyes dancing and a small smile on his face.

"She really did sound amazing. I'm sure I wouldn’t have been worthy to be in her presence."

And for once, Zoro must agree with Sanji’s over the top language about women. With Kuina it fits, and Sanji doesn’t sound silly or stupid, but sincere.

Sanji stands up, brushing off his pants and glances down at Zoro.

"Look, I'm not a complete asshole alright? If you want to fight me again, and if it makes you feel better, I can take it. Just let me know. "

And then he walks away.

Zoro sits up and watches Sanji go. He scowls at the cook’s back.

He isn't sure if he feels better exactly but he does feel less angry. That tiredness is set deep in his bones, but...

Fuck. Did the cook just help him out?

And Zoro turns to look at the sky once more and thinks that the cook’s eyes are that shade of blue and kind of beautiful.

* * *

8 days from now.

 

"Bro!" Franky yells almost as soon as Zoro gets into the cabin.

Franky is standing in the entry way, which also includes the kitchen, and the makeshift living room as well. To the right are two doors for the bedrooms and to the left is the door to the bathroom. Small, practical and home to Zoro.

Franky is holding a phone in his hand, his eyes wide and his expression mixed between surprise and restrained happiness.

"BRO!" He yells again walking up to Zoro with a slow shake of his head. "I have the others on the end of this line! They have crazy news!"

"Is it about the idiot cook getting divorced?" Zoro says, trying to sound nonchalant. He crosses his arms and scowls to make sure Franky knows not to bug him too much about it.

Apparently, the message was lost or ignored though as Franky nods his eyes widening further.

"How'd you know that!?"

"Koshiro told me. Nami told him."

"Oh man! Isn't this insane!?" Franky says with a shake of his hand.

Zoro shrugs, "The shit cook always was fucked up with relationships."

Franky then stares at Zoro opened mouthed and shakes his head. " No bro, obviously Koshiro didn't tell you the whole story-"

Suddenly the voices on the phone get rather loud and with a frown Franky listens for a moment and then nodding holds it out to Zoro.

"They want to talk to you about it."

"Who is they exactly?" Zoro asks suddenly a bit wary. If its Luffy he'll portably yell some... well random stuff or spot on stuff that will make Zoro feel uncomfortable. If its Ace it will be some sleezy comment about sex, and if its Robin or Nami they’ll probably pressure him into something he doesn’t want to admit.

"It’s Robin. And everyone else is there except for Nami and Ace. They're with Sanji." 

Zoro sighs heavily but takes the phone. He should have known it'd be Robin, since she's Franky’s wife now. It’s still weird to think they're married after they’d been friends for so long.

Zoro takes the phone carefully and places it up to his ear.

"Hello?" He grumbles out.

"Well, hello Zoro, I hear you’ve already heard the news," Robin's voice says calmly.

"Yeah I heard from Koshiro, Nami told him."

"Ah yes I believe you owe her some money now," Robin says, amused.

"Whatever," Zoro grunts angrily. " Franky says you wanted to talk to me."

"Ah yes," Robin says silkily. " I thought you should hear the story from a less… enthusiastic source. My husband can be quite dramatic. "

Even as she says that Franky sits down shaking his head, tears falling from his eyes.

"It’s so sad, " He sniffles and pulls out his guitar from behind the couch.

Zoro sighs and decides to head outside as far as the old cord phone will stretch so that he won’t have to hear Franky’s music right now.

"You got that right,” Zoro mumbles.

Robin laughs lightly, as Zoro sits down on the front steps. It’s very peaceful out here, with the faint chords of Franky playing the guitar and the crickets singing in the bushes. Moonlight spills on the soft grass and a night breeze pulls at Zoro’s hair softly.

"So, tell me what happened to the idiot," Zoro says and leans back against the door.

Robin hums thoughtfully. " I suppose I should begin with what I know. And from what I know is mostly from Ace. Without you here, he is probably Sanji's closest friend, besides Luffy. "

"Yeah, yeah I know group dynamics fascinate you or whatever but get on with it," Zoro snaps out impatiently.

Robin doesn’t seem offended and keeps talking.

"Apparently about six months ago, around the time you left, Sanji came to Ace's apartment and informed him that Pudding was cheating on him."

Zoro sucked in a breath of surprise. Shit. Well that was just about the worst thing Pudding could have done to Sanji. Sanji had been cheated on multiple times in horrendous ways. And Zoro is sure Pudding knew this, and yet she'd still done it. It makes Zoro angry just thinking about it. Very angry.

"Sanji stayed with Ace for a few days, telling him not to inform us," Zoro can feel Robin’s disproval at that decision in her voice, even if its subtle, and he agrees with her. The shitty cook should have told them right away. But of course, he wouldn’t want to bother them with his problems. He was stupidly ‘noble’ like that sometimes.

"I believe Sanji was still willing to try to make it work with Pudding. But after a few months he ended up getting another apartment by himself and that's when he told us things were not going well with Pudding. And then today he told us that they had just finalized their divorce. There was quite an uproar and he then became very drunk and Ace drove him home."

"That's all you know?" Zoro asks disappointed. He'd expected more details from Robin like who Pudding had slept with or the exact facial expression Sanji had made as he told them. Things like that. Things Zoro didn't really _want_ to know but at the same time _had_ to know...

"Sanji was rather secretive about the whole thing," Robin says with another sigh. "As I'm sure you’ve noticed, he does do this. He takes care of his problems behind the scenes. Much like you as well."

Zoro avoids the analysis of his actions entirely and says, "So that’s it then? He's done with her?"

"I assume so, yes. That is what divorce means." Robin states smugly.

"Alright, don't be a bitch," He snaps. "So, he's... not doing so well then?"

"Hm. Well tonight was rather rough. But we were here, I'm sure he’ll be fine in the long run. It might even be for the better."

Again, this seems dangerously close to talking about his own feelings, so he diverts the conversation swiftly.

"Yeah, the shit cook is always fine," Zoro grunts. “But I haven't talked to you guys in a while. How are things?"

He doesn’t want to discuss Sanji anymore with Robin if she's going to just tell him to make his move now. Not that he'd listen. Sanji is broken hearted and Zoro can’t do that. Although it seems Sanji is always broken hearted, or in a relationship. But whatever, he won’t. Not this time, probably not ever.

"Yes, we're all fine. I'm sure we’ll inform you about our lives when you come and visit, and when you give my husband back."

"Tch. He wanted to come," Zoro points out to her.

"I suppose. But I will love to see him again and tell him so. Something you might also think about doing when you see Sanji."

Even though Zoro was expecting something about his feelings for Sanji, he wasn’t sure he excepted Robin to be so blunt about it. And he feels a bit taken aback she'd just come out and say it. But he’s also a bit impressed she managed to come right back to the subject he’d been trying to avoid. She was as bad as Nami sometimes with the whole meddling witch thing.

Zoro says nothing for a while. Not sure what to say, and a bit tired of this conversation. He doesn’t know how many times he has to say no before his friends will give up on him and Sanji. They seem to want them to be together as much as he does. Well almost as much...

"No," Zoro decides to settle on.

"Just no? That isn't very much of an argument.”

"Well we've had this argument before. And I think it was you who suggested I should move on at his wedding right? And I agreed. So how is confessing my feelings for the stupid cook moving on Robin?"

"That was before he was divorced. And I doubted that marriage would last."

"Then why'd you say it!?"

"Because Zoro, you are my friend too. And although I had a feeling Sanji wouldn’t stay with Pudding and although I want you two to be together, I think Sanji has had more than enough opportunities to see that himself. At his wedding I assumed if he didn’t see you as a potential romantic partner by then he never would. And at the time I thought it would be much better for you to move on then to pine after someone who would never return your feelings."

She says this all calmly and somehow still not out of breath. Her words kind of hurt Zoro as he listens, and he feels down cast and confused. What the hell is she trying to say? Confess to Sanji one minute and get over him the next?

"Ok. Well I'm doing that. Getting over him."

"Zoro," Robin says gently. "You've been trying to do that for the last ten years. It is simply not working."

"But you just said-"

"I told you what I said at Sanji’s wedding. But tonight, has been enlightening on many levels. Tell me, did you and Sanji ever make some sort of agreement that you and he would get married in ten years if you were both single?"

Zoro's eyes widen, and his thoughts turn to the napkin he still has hidden away in his top dresser drawer in his apartment in the city.

Of course, he remembers that stupid drunken night. It’s the closest he'd ever gotten to Sanji admitting he felt anything more for Zoro than friendship. Zoro used to keep the stupid napkin in his wallet, but with his newer attempts to move on, it had seemed better to hide it away. 

And he'd never told a soul about it. And was pretty sure that Sanji forgot about it the next morning.

So how the _hell_ did Robin know about it? And why was she bringing it up?

"How the hell did you know about that?!" Zoro growls sitting up slightly and clenching the phone in his hand.

"Hm,” Robin muses. "He brought it up last night."

"Sanji brought it up?!" Zoro practically shouts, surprise coloring every word. Sanji…remembered that?!

Robin laughs again. "Yes. I believe he said something along the lines of 'Now that I'm single and almost thirty I’ll have to marry Zoro. It’s in the contract."

Zoro drank the words in like a dying man in a desert. Sanji had remembered the contract? Not that it was even really a contract. Zoro had read it over and memorized it long ago. Technically it was written by a lawyer and had legal jargon in it, but it wasn’t binding right? Sanji wouldn’t be taking it seriously… would he? And Sanji had said he _had_ to. So, did that mean he didn’t want to? Or had he just been spewing nonsense? And why was Robin bringing this up?

"Ok, yeah" Zoro admits carefully. "He made it one night when he was drunk, and some chick had just dumped him. I don't even remember who it was. But it didn’t mean anything."

"Well Sanji apparently thinks it does. Otherwise he wouldn’t have mentioned it."

"Sanji does a lot of shit when he's drunk. He probably just mentioned it along with a bunch of random shit-"

"Sanji talked about two things more than anything else last night," Robin interrupts and her voice sounds a bit harsher than normal. "One of them was Pudding. The other was that contact. He told us in detail what he wrote, he told us it was the first legal contract he'd even written, he says you still had it and proved that by telling us it was in your bedroom dresser, in which he proceeded to tell us the story of how he knew that and-"

"WHAT!?" Zoro explodes and suddenly he's standing up. " He knew I - When did he- oh fuck!" He runs a hand through his green hair. Too many questions! And Robin was blowing his world apart right now! What the hell was Sanji doing?!

Robin chuckles lightly again.

"So, you see, I've decided to amend my previous advice to you. That was what I said when I didn’t think there was any hope left. When I believed that Sanji was too blind and too narrow minded to see himself with you. I didn't want you hurt anymore then you already were, but last night has revealed that Sanji has not only harbored some sort of sentiment for you, but also that a contract might bring you two together romantically."

Zoro’s heart is racing very fast. He feels hot all over, and his stomach is churning in his gut. Sanji really misses him and admitted it?! He's pretty sure he's never admitted he's missed Sanji to his friends, and they all know he loves him! Or guesses that he does anyways. And Sanji…. Could what Robin be saying be true? Could Sanji somewhere deep down know that Zoro and he belong together!?

"I believe you have a chance again Zoro," Robin says softly. "And I know that Sanji is heartbroken and sad, but you must act. If you do not do it now, I am afraid this might be your _real_ last chance. If Sanji cannot see you after this... I'm certain it will be over."

Zoro finds his breath is coming shorter, and his palms are sweaty. He feels too woozy to think, like he was drugged or drunk or something. He glances up at the stars and the moon and begins to wonder again about fate.

"So, you’ll have to decide when you get back, what you'll ultimately want to do," Robin keeps going. "It’s your choice."

Zoro says nothing. And they both wait on other ends of the line in silence.

Silence except for Zoro’s rapidly beating heart.


	3. Clear Skies

 

“If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.” ~ Mel Brooks

* * *

 

11 years ago

 

Zoro sighs heavily as he looks around at the crowded frat party. It’s September and it’s Zoro's first year in college. And already he’s getting sick of the parties.

Zoro isn't really a people person to begin with. The only part of the parties he likes are the vast amounts of booze.

So far though he’s only been getting beer from the keg and hasn’t seen any trace of harder liquors. Definitely not enough to get him drunk. His friends are having fun though.

He watches as Nami wins a game of beer pong and a large pot of money too. He sees Luffy, Usopp and Chopper all laughing hysterically over something that Brook is doing.

And then he sees Sanji flirting with ten girls at once.

Zoro watches Sanji for a bit longer then his other friends. Not that he cares anymore about him than the others. It’s just that Sanji is a light weight and might get into trouble...

Well, actually, Zoro should be more concerned about Chopper in that case. Chopper is only seventeen and because of his big brain he’s already in college. That doesn’t mean he’s ready for these types of parties.

Luffy too can get into trouble and drags Usopp with him.

Nami might get a guy who’s too grabby, and need Zoro’s help...

And even Brook, who is a mature student, _really_ mature, might need help navigating the rambunctious teens…

So why is he again lingering on the shitty cook? Who probably needs his help least of all his friends?

But, Zoro can’t help looking at Sanji. Sanji is just interesting to look at sometimes. He’s sure anyone would agree. Sanji has the most fascinating eyes. The bluest eyes he's ever seen. They shine darker right now, like a deep-sea reflection and catch Zoro’s attention across the crowded room…

Well, maybe Zoro isn’t only looking at Sanji because he might get drunk and in trouble.

Zoro can admit the Sanji is attractive… from a far anyways. Zoro might even consider banging him if they’d met at some party like this. But Sanji is his friend. And he’s annoying and high maintenance. And very straight.

But that doesn’t mean Zoro can’t appreciate his friend’s attractiveness, just like he thinks Ace is hot, and Nami is hot. It’s purely academic, but not something he’d ever do anything about.

It’s nothing really. Nothing more than attraction. Sanji is his best friend and that friendship is not something he wants to fuck around with. If Sanji would have even let him, he wouldn’t.

Zoro forces himself to look at something else.

"Hey Zoro, " A voice suddenly says from his elbow, and Zoro looks around with start.

Ace, in all his freckled glory, is grinning at him happily. " So, checking out Sanji again, are we?"

"What!? Fuck no!" Zoro growls out, and Ace laughs.

"It’s alright Zoro, " Ace says in a condescending voice. "I won't tell anyone. "

He winks and then grins even wider.

"Whatever. There’s nothing to tell," Zoro grumbles and takes a sip of his beer.

"You really still denying it? I only catch you looking at him like all the time. You should make a move, you two would be a hot couple," Ace says thoughtfully now.

Zoro's heart, for some reason, skips a beat at that. He supposes its nerves, no one has ever suggested he and Sanji would be good together. Probably because they’re always fighting and annoying each other. Zoro understands that Sanji and himself, would never work out, even if there was a chance.

And yet why does he feel less freaked out and more… happy about it?

Shit. Ace is fucking with him again.

"Shut your mouth Ace," Zoro growls and downs the rest of his drink. "Let's get more booze. Harder liquor."

But Ace just smirks, his eyes darting over Zoro's shoulder and back to Zoro again. "Ha, I think you have some other stuff to do."

Zoro glances over his shoulder just as Nami slams into his back, pulling Sanji in with her, so that he slams against Zoro too.

"What the hell!?" Zoro growls trying to get away from them both. He doesn’t know why he feels his face heat up when Sanji 's hand brushes his arm, but it’s much too weird to feel comfortable with.

"C’mon Zoro!" Nami says happily. " You've got to walk Sanji home! He's soooo drunk."

"I'm really not so bad Nami," Sanji slurs out to her. Zoro rolls his eyes and silently agrees with Nami.

"Why do I have to do it?" Zoro complains and Nami laughs.

"You're the only one _not_ drunk or high," She says laughing lightly and her attention lands on Ace.

"ACE! You're here!" And she heads off leaving Sanji leaning subtly against Zoro.

"I don’t have to go home," Sanji mumbles to Zoro, and sways a bit.

Which Zoro is sure this is the cue for him to reach out and steady the stupid cook... right?

"Moron, let’s go," Zoro says, not without affection. It’s good Sanji is so out of it, he can’t detect any fondness that might have slipped into Zoro’s tone just now.

"Y-you’re going to do it?" Sanji asks, looking at him curiously.

"Nami said she’d raise my debt," Zoro says automatically, and realizes suddenly that she actually didn’t say anything about his debt, had she?

The worst part is he doesn’t even feel that upset about it. He even kind of likes the way Sanji leans against his arm.

"Oh. M-k, I guess then," Sanji says with a thoughtful nod, and follows Zoro who has a firm hold on his arm.

They soon weave their way out of the party and breath in a large lungful of fresh air happily. The street is dark, and laughter rings out here and there from the party behind them.

Sanji has some trouble getting down the front steps, so Zoro figures he should let Sanji put an arm around his shoulders and snake an arm around Sanji's waist...

Shit why does he react like this? Why is his heart thumping harder than ever? Why does he feel so hot, burning where Sanji is touching him? Why is he so happy? Why does he just want to lean in and kiss him...?

"You know Zoro," Sanji slurs again, as they keep walking. " I’m…I'm really glad we're, you know, friends now..."

Zoro sucks in a breath of shock and he himself stumbles a bit on solid ground. Did Sanji just say something _nice_ to him?

Sanji's laughter echoes suddenly and Zoro realizes that he really loves that laugh. That laugh Sanji usually never uses, the one that is free of any stress or sarcasm.

Sanji turns to him with a grin so wide and so innocent, Zoro almost forgot that Sanji _could_ smile like that. It reminds him that Sanji has that sort of childlike wonder, that he himself is missing, that other people are missing and that makes Sanji so much more complex and interesting than anyone else.

It also makes Zoro heart stop, because he likes it when Sanji smiles at _him_ that way...

"You're... you’re the best," Sanji says with another wide grin and then he slumps forward and stumbles.

"Ugh. Shit. Can’t walk straight."

And Zoro is pretty sure he can't either. He feels drunk. Drunk on Sanji. On Sanji's smile. On his words. How can Sanji do this to him when no legal substance can?

His heart continues its beat, as fast as possible, and Zoro stumbles along with Sanji slumped next to him.

And as they pass under another street light and Sanji gives him another one those smiles, smaller this time, but still just as deadly effective... Zoro realizes something.

It’s not just attraction. It’s not just him caring about his best friend. He’s never felt this strongly for anyone before. The feelings swirling in Zoro’s chest are foreign and slightly terrifying, but he thinks he knows what they are.

He's never been in love before this moment, but he's pretty sure … he's pretty sure...

He's in love with Sanji.

* * *

 

7 days from now.

 

When Franky wakes him the next morning to start the hour drive into the city, where they both live, Zoro is up immediately.

He's been thinking all night about what Robin said to him on the phone and he still isn't sure exactly what he'll do or what he’ll say when- or even if- he sees Sanji.

The fact is ever since Sanji got married and Zoro threw himself into the pilot business (and Zoro tried hard to get over the guy) Zoro hasn’t seen much of him.

It isn't really Sanji's fault, Sanji is very busy. Not counting Pudding and whatever Sanji had to do to keep her happy (although apparently, he's failed there) but Sanji also is a partner at a law firm in the city and has insane hours. Not only that but Zeff had retired a few years back from his restaurant and had given it to Sanji. Sanji has always loved cooking but had eventually decided on being a lawyer instead of a chef, to Zeff's disappointment.

Sanji still hadn’t wanted to sell the restaurant and so instead he’d hired a manger and new head chef to run it. On his off days he had to go and handle restaurant business as well as sometimes cook for fun in the back.

And if that wasn’t enough, Sanji also had his volunteering. Sanji never misses weekends at the soup kitchen feeding the hungry or doing pro bono work as a lawyer.

Zoro wonders as he and Franky pack up if Pudding cheated on Sanji because he was so busy. So busy making other people happy. 

Every time Zoro had seen him over the last four years, he's looked haggard and tired.

But Sanji being busy wasn’t the entire reason that they hadn’t seen each other much. Zoro had also been actively trying to avoid him. Getting over Sanji had mostly been an effort to spend as little as time as possible with him.

That hadn't really worked though, because no matter how much time Zoro spent away from him as soon as he saw him again it was like no time had passed at all. Talking with Sanji always felt like they'd seen each other yesterday. It always felt good, and comfortable. Like coming home.

But maybe this time, with Sanji being so upset over his divorce and everything, he might not have time to see Zoro...

And then Zoro wouldn’t have to decide if he was going to confess or not.

Because for the life of him he couldn’t decide if he should.

And shit, he felt like he was right back in college, agonizing over the decision all over again.

Ten years and he was still hung up on the same guy. How many relationships had he had, and it was never enough?

He thinks the last relationship that lasted long term was four months and that was with Bonney. And he had been sure from the beginning he couldn’t marry her.

Fuck.

Maybe Robin was right. In any case if he confessed his feelings to Sanji, and he was then rejected thoroughly too, that would at least, hopefully, make his heart see sense. Maybe he’d finally get it into his brain that Sanji was never going to fall for him and therefore Zoro could finally move on...

Yes, confessing seemed the right move… _for him_.

But Sanji would be hurting right now. And he might want to see Zoro, as a friend. They had long ago thrown away the stupid pretenses they used to make up to hang out with each other. Pretending to hate each other had grown old, as they had as well, and they'd both admitted at least once they were best friends to each other. Zoro had even been Sanji’s best man at his wedding after all. 

And as Sanji’s best friend, Zoro knew he needed to be there for Sanji. Especially if Sanji wanted to spar with Zoro. It was something they did whenever either of them went through something shitty. Every ended relationship of Sanji’s, Kuina’s death, Sanji’s first major loss in court, Zoro's crash, everything big that had happened in their lives, the other had always been there, to help and to eventually fight with to let off some steam. It was their way of venting their frustrations. Girls talked, they fought.

Sanji might want that and if that was so, he didn’t need Zoro spewing to him about his feelings and the longest unrequited love in history. 

So maybe Zoro can just wait a bit.

That seemed the best course of action, wait until Sanji had healed a bit more, and then Zoro would tell Sanji about his long-harbored feelings… maybe.

But then again, just thinking that made him feel cowardly. It was the last thing Robin had said to him as he'd hung up the phone, so he hadn’t a chance to respond.

"Please Zoro, don’t be a coward." And then click.

And fuck, he hated being thought of as weak or cowardly. He hadn’t confessed because he knew it would cause problems and be a hassle. It just never was the right time. Sanji was straight, Sanji was in a relationship, Sanji was heartbroken, Sanji was engaged, Sanji was married. All good reason not to tell him.

But maybe… maybe those _were_ cowardly reasons. Maybe he just has to stop thinking up excuses and tell him.

How long is he supposed to wait while Sanji gets over Pudding? Long enough for him to find the next girl he wants to be with?

And ... even though it is stupid, there’s a small part of Zoro that keeps thinking about the contract.

That stupid contract he hasn't even thought about for years, well maybe months, that Sanji had brought up, according to Robin.

The contract is technically valid now, if it ever really was, and would soon be in effect when Zoro turns thirty in a few short days. Would Sanji... really want to honor it? As ridiculous as it is, if Zoro were to wave the stupid napkin under Sanji’s nose, would he agree to be with Zoro?

Zoro sighs as he gets in the car and buckles up.

Of course, Sanji won’t do that. It isn't a real contract. It means nothing.

But as Franky starts the car, while humming the song he's made about Sanji's pathetic divorce, Zoro can’t help but think about that stupid napkin in his bedroom drawer anyway.

* * *

 

They get to Zoro's apartment in record time.

Franky and Zoro have agreed to go to Zoro's place first then to Franky’s.

And as soon as Zoro flips on the lights to his dusty place, he is assaulted by the happy sounds of "SURPRISE!"

Franky laughs as Zoro glares at all his friends standing under a wide ribbon, grinning at him happily.

"Welcome home!” Luffy cries and leaps forward wrapping his long limbs around Zoro in a bear hug. Zoro, carrying a rather heavy box stumbles and grumbles, " Luffy! Get off!"

He’s way too old for this shit.

But then again, his friends never change.

Soon his other friends gather around him and it’s great to see them all.

Robin, Nami, Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Ace, Brook and even Vivi. Just Zoro’s tight knit group of friends. The only person missing was Sanji.

"So, I guess you’re all here to help unpack!" Franky yells happily after he enthusiastically kisses Robin. Zoro really hopes they won’t start going at it right there in the living room. Another thing that has happened before.

There is an annoyed grumbling of agreement from the party and everyone starts filing outside and down the stairs to get the boxes.

“So Zoro," Nami sidles up to Zoro quickly. "Sanji's divorced now. Thoughts?"

Zoro tries to glare at her, but that fact is it’s so nice to see her again his scowl won’t stay put. It had been far too long since he's seen his friends.

Instead of admitting any of that, he shrugs noncommittally and keeps walking.

"You know I seem to remember a tiny bet we made about Sanji’s marriage...?" Nami continues from behind Zoro.

Zoro grumbles something noncoherent and tries to walk faster.

Soon everyone is helping Zoro unpack, and laughingly having a surprisingly good time.

"Here's some snacks and stuff!" Chopper calls and points to the kitchen. "We thought you'd be hungry."

Zoro nods and moves to the kitchen, expecting pizza or chips.

But instead before him is a full buffet, with healthy looking pastas, and burgers, and sandwiches and salads. It all looks delicious and smells amazing.

And Zoro knows only one person who could have made all of this.

" Sanji made this," Zoro simply states as he starts piling his food on his plate. Sanji usually makes food for their parties. Sanji is undoubtedly the best cook out of their group, possibly the best cook in the world.

"Of course, he did!" Nami says with a small laugh and she grabs one of the fruit tarts. Sanji probably made them just for her and she sighs happily. "No one makes it this good."

Zoro silently agrees and eagerly starts shoveling it in his mouth. It tastes blissful. It’s been way too long since he had Sanji's food.

He chews and thinks, as he often does, that Sanji threw away an amazing cooking talent, all to be some crummy lawyer.

But then again Sanji isn't the only one of Zoro’s friend that he thinks could have done better elsewhere.

Usopp for instance went to school with a visual arts degree and ended up being an architect. Usopp claims that he went with the safe choice, but Zoro thinks it’s a shame because he has a real talent for art. And same with Nami. She's an air traffic controller now, but Zoro remembers when she had a chance to make big money in the financial district, as well as the chance to travel around the world, and instead threw it away to direct other people where to go. She also claims to be happy with her choice, but to Zoro it seems like a waste.

And Zoro could go on. Chopper was an elementary teacher, who should have been a doctor. Robin was a cabinet attendant who should have been ... well probably the president or something. And Franky was his own mechanic for planes when he could have been a carpenter and made ships.

Even Brook might have made it as a musician in his younger days if he had had the opportunity, instead he was a retired detective who did private investigating now.

Only Luffy and Ace seemed to find their potential in firefighting. Zoro is pretty sure they were meant to do that.

The others though. Zoro wishes they had fought harder for their dreams when they were younger. It makes him sad sometimes to think of all the potential and now it’s just all gone...

"Zoro! Tell us about your trips!" Luffy asks him happily and snaps Zoro out of his daydreams.

Zoro soon complies and the moving party melts into an actual party as they all go to the living room and listen to Zoro and his crazy adventures in South America.

They all laugh and then start to tell him and Franky the news that's been going on with them. Not too much has changed in the past six months. They all still have the same jobs. Luffy has been getting up to the usual shenanigans. Everyone who is dating someone is happy and doesn’t mind telling him all about their plans to renovate the kitchen or to have a great Halloween party.

But soon the inevitable happens and the conversation turns to one blonde haired lawyer.

“Ah this food is so good!" Luffy cries again.

"Too bad Sanji couldn’t make it or he could make us more," Usopp sighs heavily as he looks longingly at his empty plate.

"Oh yeah, Zoro, " Ace speaks up from behind the couch. " He wanted me to tell you he's sorry by the way, but he wasn’t feeling up to the party. He sent the snacks over as a peace offering."

Zoro shrugs at the comment, and simply eats more, trying to look like he doesn't care.

He doesn’t fool anyone.

"So, Zoro, " Nami says grinning at him in a catlike way. "Now that Sanji is a divorcee and I get more of your lovely money, it means he's currently back on the dating scene."

Everyone is now paying attention to Zoro and Nami’s conversation.

"Tch. I doubt he wants to date right now. He'll be all weepy and shit. Like he always is," Zoro states firmly and takes another gulp of his beer.

"But that still doesn’t mean you can’t make your move!" Ace speaks up and suddenly everyone is throwing in their agreements.

"Oh, please Zoro! It all be so good to see you two together at last!" Chopper cries excitedly.

Cheers of agreement ring out persistently from everyone. Until Zoro feels annoyed enough to respond.

"SHUT UP!" Zoro growls and everyone thankfully stops putting in their two cents into his love life. Idiots.

"Can we talk about something else?" He grumbles and starts shoveling more food into his mouth.

Thankfully, somehow that seems to work. Maybe they can sense how done he is with this conversion.

And soon enough they move on to other topics again, like how Robin wants to fund a library, and how Vivi thinks they should do this again sometime.

Zoro politely listens for a bit but soon stars to yawn loudly and obviously.

“Ha, I guess that's our cue to get out of here," Nami says with a smirk.

"It’s been a long day. I moved back in and shit." Zoro comments and waves his arm around the apartment.

"We did most of the work," Usopp mumbles but at Zoro's glare, smiles nervously and strikes up a conversation with Chopper.

Yes, somethings never change about his friends.

Robin will always be creepy, Franky a pervert, Usopp afraid.

And Sanji will always be a womanizing idiot.

Zoro tips back the beer and deliberately decides to not think about Sanji anymore tonight. And then he promptly sits on the couch and falls asleep.

* * *

 

Over the next few days Zoro settles back into city life, and his friends surround him happily. He's never able to do anything without at least two of them there. They seem to want to soak up his presence like a sponge. Which is flattering but also a bit annoying.

It’s also starting to worry him a bit that he hasn’t seen Sanji.

Usually he at least sees Sanji when he first gets here, and now as the days pass, he feels as if a tension is building. He isn't even sure what he'll find when he sees Sanji, but he knows that he has to visit him eventually.

So, he decides to take matters into his own hands and stop by Sanji's apartment one day after shopping (forcibly) with Nami and Robin. They mention how Sanji was still under the weather and couldn’t come with them, so Zoro was volunteered. It had sucked.

Now Zoro is heading to Sanji’s apartment, one Zoro has never been in before. One that Sanji had to get because of his divorce with Pudding.

It’s a surreal feeling he has, walking up to the door in the unfamiliar, and kind of crappy apartment building. A free and single but heartbroken Sanji is up these concrete steps.

He stops beside a door marked with a golden seven and knocks on the door lightly.

There’s a shuffling inside and then a few footsteps. Zoro feels his heart pick up as he imagines Sanji rumpled and disheveled like he always was after a heartbreak. How bad was this one going to be? Sanji's been with her for four years. Zoro knows it’s going to be pretty bad.

And yet his heart seems to be singing at the prospect of seeing Sanji again, filling him like nothing else ever does, or probably ever will. His heart picks up the rhythm that only beats with Sanji around.

And the door flies open.

Sanji stands there. Just like Zoro remembers him; tall, blond hair, blue eyes, tired, black suit, blue shirt, and a black tie. His goatee is shaved, which is new, and his hair is a bit longer, although still as shiny as it was back in high school.

And Zoro is surprised to see that Sanji is not rumbled or worse for wear but looks... normal. Fine even and much less tired then Zoro remembers him being. Which is weird and throws Zoro off for a second.

And then Sanji does the worst thing possible and smiles at him warmly, one of those large big smiles that speaks of innocence and pure happiness, and what made Zoro sure he was in love with Sanji back in college.

"Zoro!" Sanji cries, stepping forward and wrapping Zoro in a hug before Zoro can sort out what the hell to say.

Sanji and him have never been huggers after all. Zoro is expecting Sanji to say something like, _Fuck off moss head I'm busy right now_.

Not... a hug?

"Uh… hi?" Zoro tries and Sanji pulls back, the wide smile on his face making Zoro incapable of speech for another few seconds. 

"Damn it’s good to see you. Come on in. I'm just making some snacks and shit. You want anything?"

Zoro nods numbly and follows Sanji obediently, wondering what the hell is happening right now, and not really caring to ask because he likes this.

"I'm sorry I wasn’t there for your party. I was feeling like shit, and had a massive hang over," Sanji says with a sigh as he hurries around the kitchen and soon brings out heavenly smelling snacks as if he was expecting guests.

Zoro sits down on the couch next to the kitchen numbly and looks around Sanji’s very bare looking apartment building. There are boxes everywhere, but what is unpacked is very organized and neat. No pictures of Pudding can be seen.

Sanji hands Zoro a cup of what he expects is Zoro's favorite tea. Sanji knows all Zoro's preferences for food. Sanji knows every one of their friend’s favorite foods and drinks.

Sanji hastily cleans up some mail thrown along the coffee table, fusing as usual for everything to be perfect. Zoro glances at it wondering if Sanji is looking at porn, now that he’s single and everything, and still a disgusting pervert, but all he sees are a few brown envelopes and some bills.

Sanji dumps the mail in the kitchen and comes back swiftly, sitting down, his happy smile still in place. It’s starting to freak Zoro out now. Sanji’s supposed to be a mess over Pudding, not looking so happy. Not happy at all.

" So, tell me about your trip! I assume Usopp was exaggerating about the thing in Peru? He was telling m-"

"Whoa, whoa stop," Zoro interrupts staring at Sanji still, like he's an alien. He might be too. "What the hell cook?!"

Sanji looks mildly offended. "What?"

"What do you mean what? I mean why the hell are you so…so happy?! From what I've heard you’ve been a fucking mess."

Sanji blushes, and the usual fire the Zoro knows so well sparks in Sanji's eyes and he growls at Zoro. "I'm not a mess, as you can fucking see. I was upset like anyone would normally be about the divorce, sure. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I realize... well I realize that it was… It was for the best."

Zoro gapes openly at Sanji. There’s just no way Sanji said that. Never in all the years Zoro has known him, has Sanji dealt so well with an ended relationship. Zoro’s never heard him say that the relationship ending was better for everyone. No, Sanji always pines after the girl no matter how much she sucked, no matter what she did. Sanji never thought it was ever better to leave a relationship. He always thought it was his fault, and he always lamented never being able to find someone again. He had always been so hopeless.

So, what is this new Sanji?

What happened to just a few days ago where every one of his friends was the same as Zoro always knew them?

Zoro feels as if he missed a step here. Sanji should not be reacting like this.

"Stop staring moss head," Sanji snarls. “It’s not that surprising. I mean I tried my best to make it work but... the divorce is final now. There’s no going back, and I’m… moving on."

That if anything makes Zoro gap harder. This is... crazy.

"Oi would you stop already!" Sanji growls at Zoro. "Don’t make me kick your ass right after you get home."

"Like you could kick my ass," Zoro mumbles on reflex. He shakes his head, trying to dislodge his disbelief.  He drinks his tea, looking at Sanji critically trying to see what’s causing this positive reaction from Sanji, and if it’s really true.

Sanji sighs heavily and rolls his eyes at Zoro. "Stop it already. I'm not going to fall apart. I'm thirty now. I'm old. I've figured out how to deal with heart break, finally."

"Tch. I don't believe it. You’re bottling it up or some shit," Zoro says with a slow shake of his head.

Sanji rolls his eyes again. "Yeah whatever moss head. Enough about me though lets-'

"What do you mean enough about you? We’ve hardly talked about you!" Zoro interrupts, again, surprised. Always, when Sanji breaks up with someone he only wants to talk about that person. How great they were, how the girl had the best body, the best mind, the best personality, was so nice, etc. The fact that he wants to talk about Zoro right now is just… so weird… What is happening?

"Well what do you want to talk about?" Sanji says with another frustrated huff, as if Zoro is the one being unreasonable.

"The divorce you idiot! What the hell happened? You and Pudding seemed happy and everything. I thought you got your romantic bullshit life."

Sanji gives Zoro a glare at the comment but lets it go and shrugs. "Maybe that's what happened. I thought it was going to be this beautiful romantic thing, but it was a marriage, and it wasn’t perfect. Pudding wasn't perfect, and I expected her to be. When that fell apart so did the marriage." He shrugs again and sips his drink, but now Zoro can see a light tenseness in Sanji's shoulders and he looks slightly more bothered by what he's saying. Zoro has a feeling there’s much more to it than what Sanji has admitted, but it’s obvious that Sanji doesn’t want to talk about it right now.

So, Zoro nods and gives Sanji a sympathetic look. "Well, sorry shit cook. I wish it would have worked out for you."

"Yeah me too," Sanji says with a sigh. “But Pudding and I were never really meant to be I guess."

"I never really liked her much,” Zoro admits lightly, and Sanji glares at him.

Zoro is ready for the crazy defense that Sanji is about to unload about Pudding. _Pudding is an angel! Pudding is worth ten of you Zoro! Don’t you dare speak about her with such a filthy mouth!_

But instead Sanji just sighs and leans back into the couch again, "Yeah I know you didn’t like her."

Zoro can’t help it when his jaw drops again. "You- you knew I didn’t like her?"

Sanji laughs and sits up again, "Well I figure that was why you never wanted to hang out with me anymore. I've hardly seen you for the past few years. and yet as soon as she's gone you come visit me right after you get in..."

Zoro tightens his jaw in annoyance, as he realizes Sanji is partially right. Is he so transparent?

"Er…well… sorry about that," Zoro says uneasily, but Sanji just shrugs again smirking.

"Its fine. It’s in the past and all that. We can hang out more now I guess. Another perk to the marriage being over."

Zoro is seriously starting to doubt this is actually Sanji. He keeps saying these crazy things. Now he's admitting hanging out with Zoro would be preferable to being with Pudding!? What was happening?

And yet Zoro’s heart seems to think its knows exactly what is happening as it picks up its steady beat. Shit. Could Sanji finally realize that maybe Zoro is better than any woman he'll ever meet? That they belong together?!

Zoro says the first thing he can think of, in order to try to get Sanji to admit it, "Well then, we should hang out, lets fight tomorrow night."

Sanji perks up immediately, his grin back in place, "Ah the chance to beat the shit out of each other? Sounds perfect."

Grinning they clink their mugs together, “Sounds like a deal cook."

Sanji sips his tea and then changes the subject, "So did you like the food at your party?"

Zoro rolls his eyes, "Stop fishing for compliments cook, you know it was good."

Sanji laughs and soon the two of them are talking like they always do, with the ease of breathing. And before Zoro knows it’s been two hours and they’ve talked about everything and anything.

Well everything except the divorce.

 


	4. Soft Turbulence

“In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.” ~ Douglas Adams

* * *

 

9 years ago

 

Zoro paces up and down the small shitty apartment again and again.

Tonight, is the night.

Tonight, is the night he's going to tell his roommate he’s in love with him.

It’s the perfect time. Things are going well at work for Sanji. He was put on a large case and was entrusted with some responsibility. One of the partners even complimented him yesterday on his work ethic.

And today he's gone to visit Zeff at the restaurant, which always puts him in a good mood, although he tries to hide it.

Another reason this is the best time, is because Sanji is single and not hung up on an ex right now. He’s too busy for a relationship for once in his life.

So it’s the perfect time to tell Sanji that Zoro loves him.

Sanji will be here at any moment and Zoro is really going to do it. Finally.

Zoro takes a deep breath and forces himself to sit on the couch and tries to will his heart to stop hammering. He hasn’t' been this nervous since he flew his first commercial flight right out of college. It’s only been a few years since then but Zoro still remembers the nerves of flying almost a hundred people through the air. It was much different then a small delivery plane, where he was the only one that might get hurt.

Zoro takes another breath and wills himself not to think about things that make him nervous and instead he reaches into his back pocket and grabs his wallet.

This is another stupid thing that he does to stay calm and he knows its super corny too. But he still does it.

He opens his wallet and glances at the tip of the napkin he keeps in there.

Its the stupid contact he and Sanji made that third year of college, a few years ago now. And he's kept it ever since. He thinks of it as his only symbol of hope that Sanji will ever love him at all.

He takes a deep breath and tries to steady his heart again and stares at the napkin. It makes him think of drunk Sanji. He smirks as he remembers how ridiculous Sanji can get and he feels much calmer.

Amazing how Sanji can make him feel better and not even be in the room.

That's when he hears the familiar sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Usually the faster the footsteps are, the happier Sanji is.

And these footsteps particularly run up the stairs. Sanji must have had an amazing time at Zeff’s. He probably made up a new dish and his old man had actually paid it a compliment or something along those lines.

Zoro feels himself start to sweat more, and gulps around his dry throat. He tries to remind himself that he can do this, and it’s really not that bad.

Finally, the door to the apartment flies open revealing Sanji. And Zoro can’t help but think how damn beautiful he is. It blows Zoro away every time he sees that stupid face. And even worse Sanji is given him the smile. The smile that made Zoro fall in love with him. It’s that shining happy smile that  takes up half his face, makes his sky-blue eyes dance and takes Zoro's breath away.

" Zoro!" Sanji says. And damn, using his real name!? That means super incredibly happy.... In fact... that means...

 _Girl_ happy.

Zoro feels his heart sinking rapidly as Sanji sits down beside him, the smile still in place.

" You won't believe who I've met Zoro!” Sanji says. “Her name is Pudding! And I know that sounds like a crazy name and I know you'll make fun of her for it, but she’s honestly the nicest girl I’ve ever met. She's just…so great. And she’s a pastry chef Zoro! She owns her own restaurant, a bakery! Its this fabulous cute place down town next to Zeff’s house! You know I've told you about it before right!? And she _owns_ it and she's our age! Isn’t the amazing?! And she's the most beautiful sweet angel ..."

Zoro listens to Sanji rambling, finding some way to paste a look of nonchalance to his face, maybe even give Sanji a small smile. He nods and pretends to listen.

But inside he’s breaking apart.

* * *

 

4 days from now.

 

Zoro goes to the gym that night, nervous about the fight.

He's not nervous that he'll lose to Sanji. He's certain of his amazing skills, even if he does have a bad shoulder now. He'll beat the shit cook with his swords easily enough. It’s not the sparring, it’s what might be said that he's worried about.

He's not only curious about what the hell happened with Sanji's divorce, and more than a bit determined to get the information from Sanji, but he’s also afraid about the potential to accidentally confess to Sanji, which he thinks is a mistake. It’s just too soon after the divorce. He's not being cowardly, there’s just something up with Sanji. He's too… fine. It’s not normal for him and Zoro wants to sort that out first, before he starts spouting off feelings.

At least he thinks that's what it’s about.

Or maybe he is just a coward.

The feeling of nervousness gets worse when he gets to their old gym. Its later at night, with the dusky hues of dawn still painting the city streets. The gym they go to is open late, especially for old regulars like Zoro and Sanji.

Zoro’s skin prickles as he walks to the familiar banged up door, and for a moment he thinks he sees someone out of the corner of his eye standing in the shadows of the building.

When he turns to look though there’s no one there, only a flickering street lamp and a small alley cat. He frowns and shakes his head, trying to clear it. He must be really nervous and jumpy if he’s starting to see people in shadows. This whole confession is really starting to affect him…

All his foreboding thoughts disappear though as he walks into the gym, finds a private sparring room, and he starts to get into his workout. He’s thankful for the routine that makes the world and most of his worries fade away.

“Well I see you’ve started without me," Sanji’s voices echoes from the door. Zoro looks up from his hundredth pushup and smirks at the cook in the doorway.

Sanji will always be beautiful no matter where he is or what he wears. Even standing here in the florescent lights of the gym, in his loose old clothing he looks good.

He walks over to put his bag down and passes Zoro a water bottle, wordlessly.

"Well I’ve got to get a work out, out of this, since your fights are so easy and all," Zoro lies, dumping some water over his head and then shaking it out purposefully spraying Sanji.

Sanji as predicted, wrinkles his nose and growls, " You are disgusting moss head! Stop shaking like a dog!"

Zoro laughs and Sanji glares grabbing his bottle back and places it on the ground.

"You’re gonna pay for that mossy," He says, and he begins to circle Zoro, who immediately shuts up and gets serious.

He'll always love fighting and he’ll always be serious about marital arts. Its the way Koshiro taught him after all. If he hadn’t been so into flying a plane, he’s sure he would have become a kendo champion.

Sanji makes the first move with a kick at Zoro's face. Sanji has the strongest kicks, that have broken Zoro's jaw before. Sanji’s legs are powerful, as powerful as any weapon.

Zoro has often fantasized about Sanji’s legs wrapped around his own body...

And gotten good at suppressing those thoughts.

He tries to jab at Sanji, who turns it into a front flip.

And soon they're fighting just like they talk, effortlessly, like breathing. They know most of each other’s moves and know how the other fights by now. But instead of making it boring, it always makes it challenging trying to think of a way to take the other down.

Zoro loves it almost as much as he likes flying. It was freeing like flying was in a way. The only thing he worries about when sparring with Sanji is getting caught checking him out. He has to be careful to not linger too much, to not think too much.

As they fight, there is enough familiarity to also be able to talk at the same time, and Zoro knows exactly what he wants to bring up.  

"So, are you going to say what really went down with you and Pudding?" Zoro grits out as he grunts and takes a hit from Sanji's oncoming kick. It stings like hell.

"I already told you," Sanji says with a kick at Zoro’s head again. Which he dodges quickly.

"If everything was fine and peachy you'd be a mess," Zoro states simply.

"You know that sounds crazy right?" Sanji asks with a snort, and comes at Zoro with a round house. Zoro backs up a step, dodging again, and manages to punch him in the side.

"You know what I mean. You always get all broken up about a break up, and now when you get a divorce, you’re fine? I'm calling bullshit-"

Sanji manages to get in a painful kick too at Zoro’s leg so he goes down, before he can finish his whole sentence.  Sanji tries to get in a pin, but Zoro manages to roll out of the way.

"Well sorry I'm not a mess, " Sanji says, sarcastically. "I've grown up. Like I said I know how to handle it-"

"And how do you handle it?" Zoro snaps and tries to punch Sanji in the face but is blocked by a knee. Sanji doesn’t use his hands much, Zeff taught him when they were young, like Koshiro taught Zoro how to use swords. Zeff never wanted to damage his hands for cooking and Sanji followed suit.

"I don’t know I just am," Sanji huffs irritably as he kicks out in flurry of front kicks making Zoro scramble back dearly.

Soon Zoro is going to have to get his swords out if Sanji keeps up this relentless pace.

"That sounds healthy," Zoro points out and dives as Sanji sends a flying kick his way.

"It is! I swear I'm fine Mossy. Nothing but healthy thoughts in here," He taps his head and at the same time hits low and tries to trip Zoro up. He leaps up just in time, impressed Sanji was able to catch him off guard. He's going for his swords.

Sanji lets him, his eyes glinting in amusement.

"I still think you're not telling me something," Zoro says as he places a sword in his mouth. He adapted this style when he was a teenager, and never changed it.

Sanji rolls his eyes and attacks again, this time hitting Zoro’s swords head on.

"Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I've already talked my head off about it with everyone else. It ended and it’s over -"

"So, what you’ll talk to the others and not me? You told them what’s bothering you then?" Zoro asks not liking the slight complaint in his voice, but he's curious. He wants to know that he hell is going on with the blonde.

Sanji is starting to look annoyed now.

“I didn’t tell them -"

"So, there IS something." Zoro says, triumphantly, happy he’d outlawyered the lawyer for once. He pays for it as Sanji manages to get in another kick to his side.

Sanji's curt glaring confirms that Zoro is right.

“Well out with it cook, let me hear it, " Zoro says with grunt as he gets up and prepares for the next attack.

Sanji just keeps glaring and starts to circle Zoro.

"I said I don’t want to talk about it, Zoro," Sanji says stiffly through gritted teeth.

"It will help if you talk about it, probably get you out of this weird phase you're in."

Sanji frowns deeply. "It’s like you want me to be miserable or something." Then he flies at Zoro again what a kick to the side and Zoro blocks easily.

But apparently Sanji is expecting that and uses the momentum and his leverage on the sword  to flip himself backwards and kick out with his other foot. The kick goes wide though, and he misses Zoro, but barely.

“C’mon cook,” Zoro continues, even with the flying limbs trying to break his jaw again. “I don’t like you being miserable and whiny any more than anyone but it’s weird you’re like this."

This time he attacks using his sword to try to decapitate Sanji, but Sanji dodges quickly flipping into a handstand and moving out of the way. Zoro hits him down though, aiming low this time, Sanji jumps above it easily.

"I really don’t want to talk-"

But Sanji is getting tired and Zoro manages to get him on the upper arm with the flat of his sword, causing Sanji to grunt and move surprisingly fast, wrapping a leg around Zoro's ankle and tripping him up so he's on his back suddenly.

Sanji goes in for a pin but Zoro quickly rolls away and is up again, and also winded now.

"C’mon Cook!" Zoro says feeling a bit frustrated at Sanji now, or maybe it’s just the fact that Sanji seems to be hiding something. "Don’t be a coward. Just tell me what happened!"

Sanji's eyes flare in anger. “I’m not being a coward! You're the fucking one that won’t drop it! I thought you were supposed to be all stoic and shit about this stuff! Not pry into my life like-"

But Zoro sees an opening and takes it, Sanji just barley manages to dodge his swords about to take off his head. Sanji growls angrily and suddenly he's on his feet and he's kicking Zoro, very hard, into his upper abdomen, leaving Zoro wheezing and holding his stomach harshly.

Sanji towers above him, furious.

"I'm done with this. I'm leaving," He growls and storms off and grabs his gym bag.

Zoro has fucked up. Shit.

" Don’t be ... like... that..." He huffs, but Sanji is already walking away, his face furrowed in annoyance.

The gym door slams echoing around the room, leaving Zoro alone and panting for breath, just like when Sanji came in.

* * *

 

"Holy shit Zoro, what is wrong with you?" Usopp groans over breakfast the next morning.

Zorro shoots him a particularly nasty glare and Usopp shrinks away from him.

"He's right Zoro," Nami says with a sigh as she stabs a pace of fruit with her fork and pops it into her mouth. She points at him with it, as if she’s planning on impaling him next.

"You're trying to get him to agree to love you back, not get so pissed at you he leaves a fight!"

Zoro sighs and glares at his pancakes. They aren't as good as the cook's but they're alright.

He obviously should have expected the cook to hit that hard, and be pissed at Zoro for prying. But man, he didn’t understand what was happening with him! And how was he supposed to tell him how he felt if he didn’t know what the cook was feeling!

"I think it’s all about out sabotaging yourself,” Nami says thoughtfully.

"I'm not sabotaging myself," Zoro grumbles, annoyed.

"That’s true!" Usopp suddenly voices. "You always do this. I mean you're always finding excuses and the last time you were going to confess-"

"He said he'd met Pudding the same night!" Zoro objects, angrily.

Usopp gives him a skeptical look. " Yeah, OK, but that could have just been anyone, imagine if you had confessed anyways! He would have been saved all the heartache."

"The point-" Nami quickly interjects before Zoro can angrily yell at Usopp. "Is that you should tell him how you feel already."

"Yup. One hundred percent what she said," Usopp says with a nod.

"It’s too soon,” Zoro says, trying to sound convincing. "Sanji just got divorced and he's still-" Zoro waves his hand side to side to display Sanji's if-y mental state.

“He seems fine to me," Nami says with a shrug.

“Yeah which is what worries me," Zoro grouses eating a bit of his pancakes. No maple syrup of course that stuff is gross.

"You’re worried because he’s doing well?" Usopp says with an eyebrow raise. " If that isn’t self-sabotage I don’t know what is."

"It isn't! He basically told me that there’s something else to do with Pudding and he won't tell me! He’s bottling it up or something-"

"Sanji doesn’t really bottle stuff up," Nami says thoughtfully. “He’s pretty explosive.”

" Yeah but he hides stuff," Zoro argues.

“Not from you usually," Usopp argues right back. "He hides stuff from the rest of us because he has this thing where he thinks he has to do stuff by himself and be all macho. But he tells you or Ace usually because he thinks you can take it."

"Well he hasn’t told me anything so-"

"It doesn’t mean he's suicidal Zoro!" Nami snaps, irritation plastered over her face. "It means that you have no excuse and you're just digging around for one! Just get on with it!"

"No. There’s something wrong-" Zoro insists.

"Oh, c’mon Zoro, Sanji is fine! He's changed! He's grown!" Usopp says looking equally as irate as Nami now.

Zoro snorts in disbelief, "Yeah and the sky turned purple and Luffy hates meat."

" Actually, the doctor says that Luffy has to ease up on the meat a bit or his cholesterol-"

"Whatever, Luffy isn't giving up meat and Sanji is still going to be heartbroken over this divorce!” Zoro growls at Nami.

Nami and Usopp both start at him unimpressed and then share a signifcant look before rounding back on him.

Nami leans in closer and gets this look on her face that Zoro hates.

“Zoro, look, people can change you know? Sanji just… he's gotten more mature. I mean he doesn’t really noodle around girls at all anymore. He's just nicer to girls more than others. And not even all girls, just me and that’s about it. Sanji is growing up! Just like all people do.”

"People don’t change," Zoro says with another snort. "Luffy is still the most immature idiot he was when we were fifteen and Sanji will be staying the same too-'

"People can and do change you idiot,” Nami snaps.

"And I'd think you’d want people to change. I mean isn’t that what will have to happen for Sanji to accept your feelings?" Usopp muses thoughtfully.

"I don’t know," Zoro grumbles. "I just know that Sanji is fucked up right now and it’s not the right time-'

Nami’s hand slams on the table and she glares at Zoro.

"If you don’t tell Sanji how you feel about him by the end of this week, I will raise your debt and then I'll tell him for you!"

Zoro gapes at her. "You'll what?!"

"Yeah you’ll what?" Usopp echoes looking equally shocked.

"This has gone on way to long!" Nami snarls out. "It’s been fucking sixteen years since you’ve know each other! How long have you been in love with him Zoro? Huh? Since college, right? Well that’s fucking ten years! This is crazy this is just - We are too old for this nonsense and drama! You are doing this! You are telling him how you feel!" She levels her fork on Zoro again, "Or I’m telling him for you."

 


	5. Mayday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> So, this chapter deals with a controversial issue. I tried to handle it with as much care and thoughtfulness as I could. But please read the tags over in case you’re easily triggered. (Of course, don’t do so if you’d rather avoid spoilers). 
> 
> Hope you all still enjoy ❤

* * *

“It takes courage to forgive love and allow yourself to embrace it again, its like discovering wings you thought you've lost” ~ Micheline Jean Louis

* * *

 

4 years ago

 

Zoro stares out at the beautiful tent filled with delicate tables and fine silverware. Delicious smells fill the air and laughter echoes like the bubbly champagne on the breeze.

It’s a gorgeous wedding, absolute perfection. The bride is glowing, beautiful and looks so fucking happy that she lights up like a Christmas tree.

And the groom...

Zoro has never seen Sanji so happy.

He stares at them both from his seat at the head table. Everyone is dancing now. It’s a fast song, and Sanji is spinning Pudding around happily, her white dress fanning out around her, laughing so that the light glints off her perfect teeth. There’s been so much fucking laughter at this damn wedding Zoro is sure that their faces will fall off.

He takes another huge gulp of the gross champagne that Pudding probably ordered, trying to get drunk as fast as he can.

He's never felt so miserable in his entire life.

Except for when Kuina died.

But this is a firm second place.

Every time Sanji touches her Zoro wants to scream, every time he smiles at her, Zoro wants to punch someone and tell her that smile belongs to _him_ , and every time Sanji kisses her...

Zoro thinks he's falling apart, that his heart is literally getting ripped out and stomped on. It feels fucking horrible, but Zoro can’t tear his eyes away. It’s like watching some sort of twisted version of what Zoro wants.

He wants Sanji to be this happy after all. He wants him to smile like that for hours, like he's been doing, with no reason other than that he's with the people he loves, that he's content and forever in love...

Zoro only wishes the person that made Sanji happy was himself.

But how can he ruin it, when Sanji is so content and has everything he wants.

So, Zoro continues to watch Sanji and tries to cut Pudding out of the picture. This is what Sanji wants, this is right and good and what will make him happy. Zoro must focus on that.

“Zoro," A soft and gentle voice says. Zoro knows it's Robin and ignores her. He's busy watching Sanji. If he doesn’t watch then no one will, and then Sanji might not be that happy again. He has to keep looking or he's afraid of what might happen to him. If Sanji isn't happy then what was the point? What is he even without that shitty blonde cook?

" Zoro," Robin says again and Zoro feels as a touch on his arm, which makes him blink a few times.

He realizes he's crying.

“Zoro,” Robin echoes again. "Come with me, let’s talk."

But Zoro doesn’t want to talk. He just wants to sit here and watch Sanji. Sanji happy, Sanji glowing. Beautiful Sanji, strong Sanji, stubborn Sanji. His Sanji. The Sanji. Fuck Sanji.

"Zoro," Robin echoes again. This time she tugs him, and he’s surprised by how strong she is because he finds himself being pushed up and pulled along. And finally, as he stumbles, his eyes are wrenched away from Sanji, and he looks at the ground and sees nothing but his own shoes and the hand on his arm.

"Oh fuck," Zoro says staring at Robin’s face and blinking back more tears.

" Zoro,” Robin says yet again and her face is crinkled with concern and pity. And, he hates that he’s the source of that concern and pity.

But it’s hard to care right now when he's falling apart.

And he kept it together so well so far. The speech went well, for him anyway, since he hates speeches. He even got a few fucking laughs. He was fine with the ceremony too, even while watching Sanji seal his fate away. Even watching everyone cheer as they came down the aisle, watching his friends all congratulate and beam at Sanji and Pudding. He had been fine.

And then all the pitying looks from the same friends who he ignored. He'd been fine, he'd even helped Sanji with his tie.

Yes, Zoro helped Sanji with his tie. It was a bizarre day, but Sanji had been shaking too much to do it up.

He'd smiled Zoro’s smile at him as he'd managed to knot the tie.

"Thanks moss head. I don’t know what I'd do without you here."

And fuck how his heart had _hurt_ then. And now… now…

Zoro hiccups and wonders if he's drunk and realizes suddenly they’re far away from the music and on a grass knoll by the beach. Sanji loves the beach, so they’d got married next to one.

Pudding must have let him have _some_ say in the wedding.

Robin is pulling him down in the sand. He'll ruin his tux.

“Zoro," Robin says again. How many times has she said his name in that sad sympathetic way? "I know this isn’t the best time to say this, but I think you need to face it now more than ever."

Zoro doesn’t look at her, instead he stares at the fading light of the sun. The last rays are lingering on the ocean like red ink on crinkled paper.

"Sanji is married Zoro. You need to get over him. I thought you’d have lots of time to realize this. But... I see now you are still very much in love with him." She partially whispers that, and he has to strain to hear her. And then he remembers he doesn’t care what she says anyways. All he cares about is the fading sun right now.

"Zoro, you'll only get hurt. You need to find a way to move on,” Robin whispers again, and then she plants a small kiss on his temple.

He nods at her, and then ignores her some more.

They sit in silence for a bit. Robin is good at silence. But Zoro still feels like shit.

Then Robin gives him another squeeze on the arm and leaves.

Zoro sits like that for a long time, watching as the sun disappears, and the moon shines on the water instead. The laughter from the tent echoes strangely on the beach, and the light from the party shines on the sand.  

Luffy eventually finds him.

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t explain anything just sits by Zoro for a moment.

“Sanji is leaving soon, he's asking for you," Luffy finally says.

Zoro doesn’t say anything for a second but then he nods slowly.

"I'll be there in a second."

Luffy nods again and his dark eyes are heavy with understanding. No pity though. There's a reason Luffy is Zoro’s best friend.

Luffy leaves, and after a moment Zoro also picks himself up and starts walking back to the wedding.

After all, Sanji was asking for him.

He'll be there of course.

* * *

3 days from now.

 

Zoro meets Sanji for dinner the next night.

And oh, fuck he promised Nami didn’t he? This was the night.

After eleven fucking years of this shit, he was finally going to do it.

Zoro steals himself as he prepares to knock on Sanji's apartment door. Something that is fast becoming familiar to him at least.

He hesitates for longer than he should have. Just as he raises a fist to tap the door, a fast movement to his left catches his eye.

He glances to the side, and sees someone dressed in black, slipping back down the hallway out of sight.

Zoro feels a prickle of unease again, much like what he felt like at the dojo… but he shakes it off and only wonders for a moment why someone would turn around and go back the way they came so abruptly.

But he shrugs it off as just his nerves again and turns back to face other more pressing problems.

He sighs and steals himself, and then he knocks on Sanji’s door.

He hears Sanji footsteps and feels his heart pound hard in his chest like it always fucking does.

Sanji opens the door slowly. And he looks good. Dark blue sweater and dark pants, all probably with designer labels. They fit Sanji like a glove and make him look so very hot.

Sanji greets Zoro more like he used to: with a scowl, "Get in here moss head. You're going to get lost if you just stand there."

Which makes Zoro scowl right back at him.

"Fuck you, Cook."

And so, begins their dinner. Zoro feels oddly comforted with the normal insults and soon they fall into that comfortable banter again. Sanji tells Zoro what he's cooking him. Zoro tells him he doesn’t give a shit and asks where the booze is.

Sanji slams a bottle of wine in his hands, and Zoro glares at him but with a long drawn out sigh takes the wine (which is always actually pretty good) and pours them both some.

Sanji's dining table is still surrounded by boxes and so they both talk about how moving is a pain in the ass. Then Zoro and Sanji reminisce about the crappy apartments they had in college and afterwards.

"I think this place is an upgrade to those but not by much," Sanji says with sigh as he places the main dish on the table. It’s one of Sanji's famous seafood pastas. Apparently Sanji is going all out to treating himself tonight.

But whatever, Zoro knows it doesn’t matter because whatever Sanji makes will be heavenly.

They dig in once Sanji sits down and Zoro is soon proved right, as the flavors sing and dance on his tongue happily.

Zoro looks up and sees Sanji smiling at him in a small kind of way.

"You know I always forget how much you enjoy my food. It’s nice seeing it so appreciated," Sanji says with another soft smile and drinks some more wine.

"Yeah, well, you should have been a chef. Not a fucking lawyer."

Sanji rolls his eyes and scoffs, "I make big money as a lawyer. I'm a partner now and super successful and I love it."

Zoro shrugs, " Yeah but no one can cook like you."

Sanji laughs and shakes his head, “Yeah well, you know why I became lawyer."

“To break Zeff’s heart?" Zoro jabs lightly and takes a sip of the wine.

Sanji glares at Zoro. "You’ve been listening to Zeff whine too much. The restaurant is fine without me. Jessica is a great Head Chef."

"Not as good as you," Zoro grumbles again and shovels more food in his mouth.

"You know why I became a lawyer,” Sanji says again. "I want to make a difference and help people who can't help themselves. Try to stop the people who think they can get away with anything they want, like my father thought he could do." Sanji pauses to scowl lightly at the wall.

Sanji's real biological father is a topic that everyone avoids unless Sanji himself brings it up. No one even knew that Zeff wasn’t Sanji's real father until Sanji had mentioned it when applying for college. It had been quite a shocker at first but then sort of made sense. Sanji had blond hair like Zeff but that’s where the resemblance ended. His temper and work ethic were a result of being raised by the man too, but there was that hardened way he lived and the kindness in him that were, respectively, from his father and mother.

His mother was always a topic to avoid. Always.

"And so, you still haven’t been corrupted by the system?" Zoro asks jokingly to hopefully lighten the mood.

Sanji smirks. "Of course not, I'm not fucking weak enough to give up my dreams. Plus, now I'm a partner and can do basically whatever the fuck I want."

"Well congratulations Mr. Big Shot," Zoro says with a sarcastic tip of his wine glass. Sanji just smirks and brings his up to clink their glasses together.

They eat in silence for a little bit after that, and Zoro is enjoying just being so close to Sanji. 

Finally, they finish up and Zoro leans back happily, feeling full and delectably content.

"Good?" Sanji ask ginning.

"Fishing for compliments again, cook?" Zoro snorts.

Sanji grins at him and then leans back in his hair too.

Again, silence falls.

"Hey," Zoro says leaning forward slowly. "Listen… about before. I’m… sorry ... about you know what I said."

Saying sorry never happens often with Zoro. He's only apologized to his friends before, and his father, and that was it. The rarity of such a thing was not lost among them either.

But this time Sanji doesn’t seem to respond to the sorry and instead hums thoughtfully. He drums his finger slightly on the table and then with a look of determination turns back to Zoro.

"You were right though, I wasn’t telling you everything.”

"About Pudding?" Zoro asks, and by Sanji's expression it seems he might be ready to say some more about the whole affair.

"Yeah. I mean what I said was true, but it was just part of the problem. We had a pretty fucked up marriage."

"Really? But you seemed so..." Zoro trials off not sure what to say. Happy in love? Fucking perfect?

"Yeah, well, that was all just a lie I guess. Even from the beginning Pudding obviously ... I mean it was apparent that…that she didn’t love me as much as I loved her. Like it always is." Sanji spits the last part a bit bitterly and glares at the floor in anger, and his hand tightens around his wine glass.

Zoro feels a familiar jolt in his heart. Now this was what he was used to, Sanji telling him about the shitty people who somehow thought that Sanji wasn’t worth loving. It was really unthinkable. A person like Sanji existing at all was a small miracle. Zoro had been around the world, and he’d never found anyone like him.

"But I didn’t really care," Sanji says with a heavy sigh. "I thought she’d grow to love me more or whatever lie I told to reassure myself. And at least things were decent. I mean Pudding's family kind of sucked, and she never listened to my complaints about them, but otherwise it was perfect, or I thought it was… and then..." Sanji trials off, his eyes cold and hard as he glares at the far wall.

"You found out she was cheating on you?" He ventures.

Sanji turns his head back towards Zoro and then hides the surprise with a resolute nod.

"Yeah. I found out she was cheating. I got a phone call to our home for Pudding. She had just given the guy the number to the house, knowing I was there. I didn’t think about it at the time, but I think she wanted me to find out about the cheating like all those other relationships I was in where the girls can’t seem to get rid of me unless they cheated." Sanji's voice goes very hard there. And Zoro remembers how much each and every one of those girls had hurt him, and how much he hated and blamed himself for 'pushing' the girls to do that. Zoro was pretty sure they were just shitty people.

"But I still didn’t really get it," Sanji says with a large sigh. "I wanted to try to work it out. I thought it was just a mistake that she'd made. That'd she'd be sorry and want to work on our marriage."

Sanji pauses for a long time, his jaw tightening as he glares at the wall and the seconds tick by.

Zoro is about to interrupt the silence when Sanji suddenly talks through it.

"Do you want children Zoro?" And Sanji turns to look at him his eyes still hard.

"Uh… kids? I don’t know maybe one day I guess," Zoro says hesitantly. He doesn’t really give a shit about children, although he knows Sanji does. Sanji wants the whole thing: the picket fence, the nuclear family with two perfect kids and a loving wife. The complete Brady Bunch. That’s what he thought he'd get with Pudding.

Sanji nods at Zoro's response. "Well you know I always wanted some. Pudding knew it too. Before we got married we talked about having kids and what we'd call them and all that stuff."

Sanji stares down at his wine glass now, slouching forward a large frown on his face.

"I guess she changed her mind though," Sanji whispers.

"What do you mean?" Zoro asks quickly, and he doesn’t like where this is going.

"When I went to Pudding with the idea of going to counselling and maybe working on our marriage, trying to sort out the whole cheating thing, she told me she didn’t want any of that and she didn’t want me. And she also told me.... she said that ..." Sanji suddenly holds his breath and seems to take a moment to steady himself.

Zoro wants to reach forward and comfort him, but he stops himself. He can’t touch Sanji right now. Not when Sanji still isn't his.

"She told me that she'd been pregnant before with my baby, and she’d… she'd gotten rid of it."

Sanji's knuckles are white as he grips the wine glass angrily.

"She just... just had an abortion without telling me!" Sanji suddenly looks up at Zoro with blue tortured eyes.

"Fuck Zoro, I felt like such…such an idiot! She was so against having my kids that she… She was so disgusted by me… I mean she could have just told me! I would have rather have used protection then... " Sanji sucks in his breath, staring at the table and glaring at it hard. "I mean, if she hadn’t wanted kids I would have understood, but we were married, and we were palming on kids and she just made this decision without me! And I - fuck I felt so shitty! I felt like I'd lost something before I even had a chance to understand. Then I felt like I was being a fucking prick because it’s her body and she can do what she wants! But why didn’t she just tell me!?"

And Sanji leans forward his hands in his hair now, a gesture he only does when he's really, really stressed.

"Once I heard that... I knew she didn’t want a marriage with me and so I got the paperwork ready and divorced her over the next few months.”

Zoro feels sick. He had no idea that Sanji's marriage was this fucked up. What the hell had Pudding been thinking?

He's still trying to process it all when Sanji keeps going.

"And that whole mess made me think, you know? Made me realize about what I've been doing my whole life. And I'm starting to think that the way I've treated women. Its just… its messed up." And Sanji looks up at Zoro again his eyes still that light periwinkle blue. "You were right you know. That day at Kuina’s funeral."

The mention of Kuina’s funeral has Zoro reeling again. What the hell had he said back then?

"You said I was sexist and I treated women unfairly. I used to think that was just your grief talking, but the words stuck with me, and I get it now. The whole reason I'm so fucked up with relationships is because I thought I treated women better than everyone else, but maybe it’s just insulting to them. Maybe that’s where I go wrong. Maybe-"

"Sanji!" Zoro finally interrupts, and grabs Sanji’s hand. Sanji looks startled by the intimate contact but doesn’t pull away.

"Holy fuck, Cook, " Zoro says with a shake of his head. " I was just angry and grieving when I said those things. I didn’t mean any of it! Not the stuff about Kuina hating you. Not the stuff about you being a selfish prick. And especially not about wanting you to die instead of Kuina!"

Sanjib blushes slightly, and Zoro feels another twisting in his gut. Did Sanji think he was serious when he said that? For all of these years? Fuck. No wonder Sanji never thought of him as a dating option…besides the guy thing.

“Pudding did a fucked up thing," Zoro says. "I don’t mean the abortion itself but she should have to told you. You were her husband and its messed up she just did it without talking to you about it. And she cheated on you. Which is also fucked up. I might not treat women like you do, but it is a part of who you are Sanji. You can’t lose that, you love cook."

Sanji laughs lightly and Zoro’s relieved he looks better already.

“Thanks, Zoro,” Sanji tells him with a half-smile. “I’m not sure if you’re right about Pudding-“

“Tch. Course I am.”

“-But I _am_ glad I talked about it. Even if you’re an asshole for being so pushy. I forgot how stubborn you are. I really needed that…”

Sanji trails off for a moment looking thoughtful. Zoro feels a tightening in his chest at Sanji’s last words. It was so close to him saying he needed Zoro… and Zoro couldn’t help yearning for that, like he always does. At the same time, the automatic trained response has echoing waves of pain breaking apart the longing quickly. _Sanji doesn’t feel like that, and he probably never will…_

And yet here Zoro is ready to confess to him. Is he insane? And it really does feel like the wrong fucking time. All that shit Sanji brought up about Kuina. All the shit with Pudding. It feels… heavy. It feels like sitting here talking with Sanji in this moment is important and weighty and not the right fucking time for Zoro to add any extra stress to Sanji’s thin shoulders.

But no, he must do this. If he doesn’t Nami will. If he doesn’t at least try he’ll never forgive himself. If he doesn’t do it now, he’ll be a coward for the rest of his miserable life. He’ll be pathetic and not worth Sanji’s time…

“Anyways,” Sanji says with a wider smile, holding up the bottle of wine, “After all this shitty talk about feelings, I say we get as drunk as we did back in college.”

Zoro snorts dervishly, taking the offered refilled wine glass from Sanji’s hand. “ _You_ got drunk. Your pansy light weight ass could never keep up, and I’d have to cut my drinking short to carry you home.”

Sanji gives a dry chuckle. “Fuck you,” he says cheerily and downed his glass in a few swallows.

Zoro happily drinks along with Sanji, their conversation falling comfortably into other things. About their other friends lives, about Sanji’s work, about Zoro’s trip home…

The heavy feeling is replaced by something lighter… at least in the atmosphere. Zoro himself feels his heart racing faster as he slowly, after every sip of wine, gets up the nerve to confess twenty years worth of feelings to this infuriating man before him. He’s too old to feel so nervous, but Sanji is the only one who elicited feelings like this from him. Like nothing has changed at all.

He takes another desperate gulp.

“I’m happy,” Sanji is drawling now, his drunkenness making him sleepy and his eyes half lidded, in an entirely too alluring way. “I’m happy… about Nami.”

Zoro rolls his eyes. Sanji talks about Nami even when he’s drunk as hell.

Zoro tries not to let the thought of Sanji mooning over Nami derail him.

“I’m glad she got her dream job…” Sanji says with a sigh.

Zoro frowns.

“Nami’s dream job was to be rich,” he says with a snort, “She didn’t get that. She’s an air traffic controller. Not exactly rolling in riches. She should have stuck to her job on wall street.”

Sanji frowns back at Zoro.

“She’s happy though. It’s what she wants…”

Zoro sighs rubbing his face. He never understands why his group of friends seem content with their lots in life. To him it seems they’ve all given up the dreams they’d always talked about. Sanji included.

He glances at Sanji, who’s pink tinged cheeks over top of his pale skin, make Zoro’s heart ache and his mind whirl. All of Sanji seems to pull Zoro in. Zoro understands and knows Sanji better than anyone. Sanji was a colossal idiot who was kind, caring and who didn’t deserve to be with girls that broke his heart. He needed better then Pudding. Zoro wasn’t sure he would ever be lucky enough to be with Sanji either, but… it was time to try.

“You …” Zoro starts and clears his throat, embarrassed that his voice gave a bit. He tries again.

“I’ve been thinking about... about um being happy myself,” Zoro says lamely. He wants to smack himself. This is sounding stupid already. He digs his fingers into his pant legs nervously, wishing for the first time he was more eloquent with words. He swallows dryly, as Sanji slumps into the couch and rolls his head towards Zoro. He gives him a sleepy smile, that makes Zoro’s heart pound fiercely in his chest. They’re closer together then he thought.

“Hm?” Sanji mumbles, his eyes and face look sleepy. Zoro takes a deep breath, ignoring his feelings of trepidation, and plunges forward.

“Yeah… I … You see I’ve been thinking about what I… I want I guess,” He suddenly can’t look at Sanji anymore, who’s blue eyes are filled with kindness and caring. Zoro looks instead at the bottle of wine.

“I mean… I haven’t really been thinking about being happy specifically,” Zoro continues, fumbling over his words. “ But… I have been thinking about you. A lot actually.”

He takes a breath, but Sanji doesn’t say anything. Zoro plunges on, glaring at the wine bottle which is reflecting oddly in the apartments lighting.

“If I’m going to be completely honest,” Zoro says in a bit of rush, “And for once in my life… I’m going to try to. I think about you all the time … Sanji.”

At the cook’s name, Zoro looks up. He never uses it. Mostly it’s to avoid thinking about Sanji anymore then he has to. But when he does say it, it’s in serious moments like these. He looks up to see what Sanji is reacting too. If he’ll understand maybe what Zoro is trying to say form his few words alone…

He expects some sort of shock and is pessimistically expecting horror.

Instead, all he sees is Sanji’s slackened face, his closed eyes and his even breathing. He fell asleep.

Zoro stares at him and lets out a huff of laughter. Of fucking course, the shit cook falls asleep during Zoro’s momentous love confession. The cook was good at simultaneously defying Zoro without realizing it and creating a deep fondness inside Zoro for the sleeping cook.

He lets out a sigh of regret and takes the glass of wine held limply in Sanji’s hand. He stands up, puts away the glasses, and after guzzling the last of the wine, throws it in the recycling bin. Sanji, even having only been here only a few weeks, has everything organized and neat.

Zoro heads back into the living room, carefully takes off Sanji’s shoes, and grabs a blanket from the back of the couch to put over him.

He lays in gently over him and watches the blond sleep for a moment. Sanjij looks peaceful and content. His blond hair is slayed messily around him on the sofa, his breath making his bangs ruffle with each puff, the pinkness in his cheeks is still prominent and his eyes are fluttering softly behind his eyelids. He looks so much more innocence as he sleeps, as if all his worries have fallen away…

The fondness in Zoro’s heart turns, as it often does to a deep ache of longing for the man sleeping before him.

And as Zoro watches the peaceful cook sleep, and feels his own heart painfully beat in his chest, he resolves right then and there to do as Nami says. Not just so he can beat her to the punch, but because he can’t stand to live like this anymore. He has to know one way or the other, for his own sanity, for his own peace of mind.

He suddenly thinks about the contract again. The stupid napkin that is still sitting in his drawer at home.

He knows that thing is just a stupid meaningless drunk rambling, like he thinks his clumsy confession was itself. But that contract still felt like hope to Zoro.

Zoro turns away from the sleeping cook, after a few moments, and heads for the door. His resolve is firm now, and like steely iron. He’ll confess tomorrow morning. It’s better just to hear Sanji reject him. And when he does, Zoro will burn that stupid napkin of a contract and any hope he ever had with it.


	6. Dead Reckoning

“You haven’t seen a tree until you’ve seen its shadow from the sky.” ~ Amelia Earhart

* * *

3 Years Ago

 

Zoro watches as Bonney pulls on her ripped t-shirt over her pale skin.

Bonney was always a good lay, and when she told him she was travelling and wanted to meet up half way across the world, in Amsterdam, he’d agreed happily.

He watches as she starts to tie her shoes up, bending over and revealing her tight ass.

He grins, remembering what it was like to make her orgasm twice in a matter of minutes. He isn’t one to brag very often, but he’s pretty talented at sex at this point.

Yes, sex is easy. It’s the other stuff, the emotional stuff he’s very stunted in.

He watches as Bonney stands with a stretch, her arms reaching towards the ceiling in the small motel they’ve bought for the night.

Zoro stares at her, feeling less relaxed, and instead tries to will himself to feel something else other than lust and attraction. Bonney is a hot woman, with a brass attitude, and below all the brashness, a good heart. She’s confident, and strong, and exactly the kind of thing Zoro likes.

So why, when he tries to feel something for her, all he feels is physical attraction and friendship? He feels no pounding of his heart in his ears, no longing to be close to her for days on end, no hole in his heart when she’s gone.

“You want to get some grub?” She asks him, turning towards him, and scratching her hip lazily. “I’m fucking starving.”

He ignores the question for a moment, Bonney is always hungry, and instead tries one last feeble attempt to feel something else for this amazing woman. He squints at her and wills him heart to move or do something. To feel something for anyone else other than an irritating blond lawyer…

Bonney quirks an eyebrow and places a hand on her hip.

“What? Do I have cum on my face or something?”

The words are enough to break Zoro from his idiotic attempts at forcing himself to feel something he doesn’t. And he lets out a short snort, leaning back in the bed.

“Nah, just thinking…”

Bonney scowls at him. “You’re not thinking about feelings or dating or some shit? That’s a headache I don’t need.”

Zoro sends her a wry smile. Apparently, they were on the same page at least.

“Nope.”

Bonney relaxes. “Good. Now food.”

He nods, and throws the covers off, and starts hunting down his own clothes.

He wonders as he does so how fucked he is.

If he can’t force himself to be _in_ love, then he still won’t be able to force himself _out_ of love.

And even 4,000 miles away, Sanji is still who he wants more than anyone.

* * *

2 Days from Now

 

The next morning, Zoro gives Sanji an appropriate amount of time to sleep off his hangover (the cook really is a lightweight – Zoro barely got tipsy last night) and gives him a call.

It’s still pretty early though; Sanji has to work today and Zoro needs to catch him before he leaves.

So, it’s no surprise that Sanji sounds horrible when he answers the phone.

“Hello?” Sanji grumbles out from the receiver, his voice thick with sleep. Zoro imagines him doing what he always does after a night of drinking, when he has to talk to someone, rubbing the bridge of his nose, scrunching up his eyes and biting his lip, longing for a cigarette if he doesn’t have one already.

“How’s the head, cook?’ Zoro asks, making sure to sound extra cheery.

Sanji groans. “I hate you,” He says, “ And your insane alcohol tolerance.”

“It’s not insane, you’re just a pansy. Always have been,” Zoro says and feels a feral grin grow on his face, even with nerves dancing in his stomach. He’s resolved to confess his feelings to Sanji today, with no more pussyfooting around, but he’s still nervous as hell. The familiar teasing helps, but not enough.

“Why are you harassing me so fucking early?” Sanji growls. “It better be because you’re dying or something-“

“Nope,” Zoro interrupts trying to sound casual and hoping the nervousness doesn’t seep into his voice. “Wanted to offer my hangover nursing services and come over today before you work. I … have something I want to talk to you about.”

He removes the receiver from his mouth for a moment to take a deep breath and closes his eyes as he waits for Sanji to respond.

“Ugh… fine,” Sanji says with another groan. “Bring me some hangover food and we’ll call it even.”

“Greasy burgers it is,” Zoro says as jovially as he can back. He’s never been this fucking nervous. Not when he took his first pilot exam, not when Kietsu had given out on hm that one time on the Atlantic, not when he had been forced to give a speech in second grade. He was a fucking wreck of butterflies. He takes another breath in an attempt to steady himself.

“Ugh,” Sanji groans again. “Do not bring me fast food… Just get your ass over here so I can get it over with. What do you want to talk about anyways?”

Zoro ignores the question, unable to even fathom a lie to tell right now.

“I’ve got Koshiro’s old hangover cure, “ He comments lightly. “I’ll be over in fifteen.”

“I don’t want chicken broth and sake-“ Sanji starts to complain, but Zoro hangs up on him. Mostly to piss the cook off, and also so that he doesn’t catch on to Zoro’s fast breathing. His hands are shaking. Shit. He hates this. He’s Zoro Roronoa. He’s not _afraid._ It’s just Sanji. Sanji who Zoro has known since he was a kid. His best friend. What was the worst that could happen?

Zoro’s thoughts immediately spiral into an angry Sanji kicking him hard out a window somewhere and never talking to him again, so he shuts those down, and instead grabs the thermos he prepared and starts for the door.

The walk to Sanji’s takes more than 15 minutes, but for once Zoro isn’t too frustrated at the streets changing direction on him. It gives him some much needed time to think and sort through what exactly he’s going to say.

He’s half glad his confession was unheard by the cook the night before. That was clumsy and shitty. Zoro knows that Sanji loves romance, and although Zoro doesn’t care about it nor knows how to do it very well, he can admit that if there is ever a time for romance it’s fucking now.

He repeats the words he’s going to say in his mind again and again as he walks to the apartment, feeling like an actor rereading a script until the words sound meaningless. He sucks at words. He sucks at feelings. He sucks at romance. The best way for him to get out a love confession seems like repetition and mind numbing practice so this will be perfect, just like reps in weight training. And at least his way he will have some semblance of control over the situation, and over his stupid, useless heart.

He finally manages to get to Sanji’s apartment. He’s nervous, but also determined. He feels more like himself, or at least a sweaty disoriented and anxious version of it. He swallows thickly, and smooths his hair back, taking one more moment to collect himself in front of Sanji’s apartment door.

His foot hits something on the floor, just as Zoro is going to knock and he glances down.

He sees a bunch of mail haphazardly sprawled on Sanji’s front door. Frowning Zoro goes to pick it up, confused because he knows that Sanji gets his mail in town. It isn’t until he touches the envelop he realizes its already been open. It has no name or address on it and seems rather thin. Frowning deeper, Zoro curiosity getting the better of him, he peaks inside.

There isn’t much in there expect one piece of paper, in which is pasted letters from magazines like he’s seen in movies where criminals ask for ransoms. Instead of a ransom demand though, are the words:

_Sanji Vinsmoke- You are going to die._

Zoro gapes at the letter in growing horror. This can’t be real could it? It must be some sick joke of Usopp’s or Luffy’s. Who the hell would want to threaten the cook?

But as he stares at the blank sheet of paper, his panic is overcome by his anger. Who the fuck would dare to threaten the cook?

He reaches up and pounds on Sanji’s door.

“ Ugh stop with the noise!” Sanji’s voice whines form inside, and the door is opened in the next moment, revealing a pale looking Sanji who glares at Zoro vehemently.

Zoro gives him no time to yell at him though. He holds up the letter, practically shoving it in his face.

“What the hell is this?” He snarls.

Sanji blinks at the letter and reaches up to snatch it away. He glares over at Zoro.

“ You reading my mail now Mossy?”

“What the fuck is that?” Zoro growls again, ignoring the question, not caring about Sanji’s privacy in the face of a threat like this.

Sanji maintains his glare for a few more seconds but then with sigh, he reaches up and massages his head again.

“ Ok just, come inside and no fucking yelling. My head is killing me.”

Zoro stomps into the apartment, as Sanji closes the door. He stands there, crossing his arms and glaring at Sanji, waiting, very patiently considering, for Sanji to explain.

Sanji with another sigh, seems to sense Zoro’s stubbornness and moves towards the kitchen.

“You want a drink?”

“I want you fucking explain what’s happening here,” Zoro growls, and taps the canister still held in his right hand. He glances at it, then shoves it at Sanji. “Here, hangover cure.”

Sanji crinkles his nose.

“I told you I didn’t want it.” But Sanji takes it anyways with a sigh and puts it softly in the counter.

“Cook,” Zoro says, this time a little less gruffly. “What the hell is that letter? And why the fuck aren’t you freaking out?”

Sanji says nothing, but the way he doesn’t meet Zoro’s eyes only confirms what Zoro already guessed.

“It’s not the first one then, “ Zoro says with a glare.“ For fuck’s sake Sanji, why haven’t you gone to the cops with this shit?! Someone is threatening you!”

Sanji meets Zoro’s eyes, with a boiling fierceness.

“Because... I think I know who’s doing it and I’m not sure if going to the police is the best option.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Zoro asks.

“I think it’s Pudding’s family,” Sanji says with a sigh, and rubs his temples this time. “I think they’re pissed about the divorce.”  

Zoro stares at Sanji in disbelief, “Pudding’s family? Why the hell would they-“

“You know that Pudding has a shady past, “ Sanji interrupts, walking around the kitchen and getting out some glasses. “Her family is basically the mafia. They run a third of the city, all under her mother.”

Zoro cocks an eyebrow. He knew that Pudding had some issues with her family. He thought it was similar to Sanji’s biological father though, and they were criminals who were in jail. He knew that was the one thing that Sanji had bonded over very strongly with Pudding. Although Zoro knew Pudding was more sympathetic towards her family then Sanji was to his, but didn’t know she was with the fucking mob…

“Shit, cook,” Zoro says with a shake of his head. “ You married into that?”

Sanji frowns deeply. “Pudding lied to me about how involved she was with them. It was only later I began to realize she was imbedded very thickly in their lives.”

“Well OK,” Zoro says and he runs a hand over his face. “So Pudding is in the mob. That’s just great cook. Way to pick them.”

Sanji’s shoulders slump at the comment, and he glares at the glass in his hands for a while. Zoro feels guilt crawl up through his stomach at the look and the silence, remembering all that Sanji revealed to him yesterday. He shouldn’t have shoved it in Sanji’s face like that.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Sanji just lets out a sigh and reaches out to fill his water. “I know.”

A small slightly award silence falls for a moment, and then Zoro speaks up again.

“So… OK Pudding is in the mob. Why do they care if you get divorced? It was Pudding who wanted the divorce in the first place, right?”

“They don’t really care about shit like that, “ Sanji says with a sigh, and turns with his full water, taking a sip. “Once you marry into the family, you’re a part of that family for life. Since I’m the outsider and I filed the divorce they probably see it as a betrayal to the family. They probably think I hurt Pudding. And they might also be afraid that now I’m not a part of the family anymore I could talk about their business.”

“Do you know about the shit they do?” Zoro asks, intrigued. What the hell had the cook gotten up to while Zoro was off flying around. He had no idea there was so much crap going down back at home. He thought Sanji was happy as a duck in water.

His guilt intensifies.

“No,” Sanji says with a frim glance. “I didn’t want anything to  do with that shit. I made that clear to Pudding. It was what we fought about the most. I wouldn’t go to any dinners with her family, no weddings or anything. That’s another reason they probably want me to die. I rejected their invitation to be closer to the family. They’ll never forgive me for that.”

“Shit,” Zoro says running a hand through his hair now, feeling stressed out and fucking _worried_ for Sanji. The mafia was obviously not a group to mess with.

“Why can’t you go to the cops again?” Zoro asks worriedly.

“They have some members of the family working as cops, “ Sanji says with a shrug. “I’m not sure bringing the police in is a good idea. It might just make it worse.”

“Why?” Zoro asks, empathetically. It seems like an easy decision to him.

“Because I might escalate things. I figure if I ignore the threats, talk to Pudding about it, and don’t involve the police. They’ll see I’m no threat and Pudding will get them to back off. And if they do try something I’ll just kick their asses.”

Sanji reaches into his pocket and pulls out a carton of cigarettes putting one into his mouth lightly. It wasn’t often Sanji smoked inside his house, he must be more stressed about the death threats then he was letting on.

“Cook,” Zoro says carefully. “That’s insane.”

Sanji stiffens. “No it isn’t-“

“Yes, “Zoro states clearly and concisely. “It is.”

Sanji narrows his eyes dangerously. “And why do you say that? Think I can’t take care of myself?”

Zoro rolls his eyes. “ Please. You know me better than that. But what are you going to do if they send a sniper after you or some shit? Are you going to dodge a bullet? Are you going to be able to kick a bomb in your car away? What if they poison your food?”

Sanji frowns. “They wouldn’t-“

“Sanji, “ Zoro says seriously as he can. “The mob is organized crime. Why the hell _wouldn’t_ they do it?”

“Pudding wouldn’t let them, “Sanji again states confidently. Zoro shuts him down.

 “Yeah, what if Pudding is the one asking for the hit? She could be a bit angry at you still, right?”

Sanji prickles indignantly, and Zoro sighs. Here it comes the rant about how all women are perfect. Sanji doesn’t disappoint.

“Pudding wouldn’t do that, “ He snarls. “We might have had our differences, and there was a lot of fucked up shit in our marriage, but we still care about each other. Pudding doesn’t want to kill me.”

“Can you be so sure?” Zoro points out. “Pudding lied to you about a lot of crap. Plus she was raised by these crazy people. Are you sure you even know what she’s capable of?”

Sanji stares at Zoro, and he actually looks doubtful. He glances away and glares at the tiled floor, his hands clutch the glass in front of him tightly.

“She wouldn’t do that,” He mumbles but Zoro can tell it’s more to convince Sanji himself, than Zoro.

Zoro moves closer and puts a comforting hand on Sanji’s shoulder. Sanji doesn’t move.

“ Look, why don’t we talk to Brook. He probably knows some trustworthy guys in his old department. Hell, we could even hire him to find out who’s doing this to you,” Zoro offers lightly. Brook used to be a detective back in the day, now he was ‘retired’ but still did private investigation work on the side. Zoro thinks personally Brook should have been a musician, with the talent he has for composing and playing the violin, but right now he’s grateful they know someone who knows law enforcement so well to help them out.

Sanji glances at him for a long moment. Then he straightens, putting the water on the table.

“ You’re right.. again,” Sanji gives Zoro an incredulous stare. “ Why the hell have you been right so often, Mossy? This has to be a record. “

Zoro snorts, withdrawing his hand, and stepping back. “Fuck you. I’m right all the time… although you haven’t exactly been at your best lately…”

Sanji snorts. “That’s an understatement.” He runs a hand though his hair and grips it tightly. This is an extreme sign of stress for Sanji. Zoro feels that familiar ache inside of him, to pull Sanji close, hold him tight and assure him that everything will be alright…

He refrains. He has to. It isn’t the time for a fucking love confession. It isn’t cowardice, its just practicality.

He feels the practices words in his head, linger for a moment, then fall way one by one like dominoes falling down around him. He’ll try to pick them back up when this mess is sorted, for now Sanji needs him.

“I should have gone to Brook before, “ Sanji says as he walks with purpose now towards the door, “ Or even Robin.”

“ Robin?” Zoro asks curiously. He agrees that Robin is scary as hell, but she had been a cabinet attendant back in the day and was now retired, using a lot of her time for research and to write books. She was going to be of help?

Sanji doesn’t explain though as he grabs his phone.

“I’ll give him a call, “ Sanji says with a grin at Zoro. “And I’ll head to the station tonight after work.”

He dials the number, as Zoro nods in agreement, watching entranced as the pale fingers move over the keys.

He rips his eyes away after a few moments. Damn. Being with Sanji was like drinking wine: intoxicating. And he was as light weight as Sanji himself, after being away for so damn long.

“I’ll go with you, “ He says as Sanji stares off to the side thinking obviously of something deeply.

He nods at Zoro with a smile and then suddenly seems to realize something.

“ Oh what did you want to talk about anyways?”

Zoro merely shakes his head and waves it off. “Nothing.”

Sanji stares at him steadily for a moment but then Brook must come on the line, because he looks away.

“Hey Brook, “ Sanji says.

Zoro not wanting to answer any other question right now form Sanji moves to the door.

“Text me the details and I’ll meet you at the police station tonight, “ He says. Sanji nods and waves, as Zoro heads out the door.

Zoro closes it behind him with a resounding thud, much louder than usual to his ears.

He’s failed yet again to confess.

But it seems rather unimportant in the face of this new information.

He glares at the far wall and imagines Pudding or her family coming here and placing the death note neatly on Sanji’s door. It makes Zoro’s blood boil. He wants to go find Pudding and yell at her until he’s red in the face about all the shit she’s pulled. He wants to march back into Sanji’s place and hug him closer to him, to make sure that he’s safe and alive…

Instead he merely turns and marches down the stairs away from Sanji and towards his apartment, alone.

* * *

Zoro somehow ends up, not at his place, but at Luffy’s. He can tell by the multitude of cars that Luffy has company.

Zoro with a shrug, decides to head in there. He needs to kill some time anyways once Sanji is done work, and they can head to the station to report the death threats.

Zoro rubs his face as he knocks on Luffy’s door. In these cases, he also doesn’t mind the streets turning around on him, not when they lead him to where he needs to be instead of where he thinks he wants to be.

A happy shout from inside tells him to come in , and he enters slowly , shutting the door lightly behind him.

“ We don’t even know who it is!” Usopp’s voice yells at Luffy from the living room. At the same moment Chopper appears around the corner, from the kitchen. His face has some chocolate on it, and his nose is buried in a book. He glances up at Zoro as he walks and stops to greet him.

“ Hey Zoro- wh-what’s wrong?” Chopper’s happy smile disappears quickly, obviously sensing and seeing Zoro’s worry.

Zoro sighs. “Its Sanji.”

Chopper stops short then, his every muscle freezing. He stares wide eyed with fear and exclaims.

“ You mean he … he didn’t reject you did he?!”

Zoro lets out a huff of frustration. Does everyone have to be so invested in his shitty love life?

“Nope,” Zoro says instead. “ Didn’t tell him yet.”

Chopper’s face crumples from worry to disappointment. Zoro quickly adds, “There was another issue.”

“Another issue?” Chopper asks Zoro worriedly. “What happened?”

Zoro merely groans and runs a hand over his face. He’s starting to regret leaving Sanji alone. Even if they only had a small opening before Sanji had to go into the office, Zoro feels like they should have gone to Brook quickly, maybe even right away…

But Sanji had said he’d gotten these notes before and they had yet to act… still it wouldn’t hurt to tell the others about a potential threat to Sanji… and to hell with Sanji if he wants to keep it a secret. This is Sanji’s life, and Zoro isn’t going to gamble with it.

Zoro also wants to talk to Luffy about the whole mess. Luffy, he is sure will understand where he is coming from.

“I’ll tell you about it with Luffy, “ Zoro grunts at Chopper as he moves past him to the living room. Chopper follows behind, his eyes full of worry. Zoro ignores him for now, but feel his heart melt a bit at the expression. Chopper can always make Zoro cave. He has a consistent soft spot for the kid, one that was more paternal or brotherly.

“Hey Zoro!” Luffy calls, from his spot on the couch. Usopp and him are playing a video game. The couch is old and ratty , but everything else was top of the line. Zoro knows Usopp has  probably helped Luffy set it up by the sheer technological marvel that is before him… and Franky has built the entertainment unit to put all the junk in it.

“Hey,” Usopp also supplies, his eyes locked on the screen. Luffy however actually looks at Zoro, and in true Luffy fashion seems to sense something amiss. He pauses the game quickly.

“ Hey! Why did you-“ Usopp starts but stops suddenly when he also sees Luffy serious face, and glances at Zoro.

“ Something wrong?” Usopp asks him, looking uneasy already.

Zoro nods, and sits down in a plush arm chair next to Luffy and Usopp.

“ Its Sanji,” Zoro comments. “His psycho ex’s family has been leaving him death threats. Did you know Pudding is in the fucking mob?”

There s a stunned silence, as Usopp and Chopper gaped at him in fear, and Luffy only stare at him with a raised eyebrow.

It’s Luffy who speaks first, and it’s with a nonchalant look.

“ I’m sure Sanji has it figured out,” he says easily. “ I trust Sanji.”

“Whoa, but Luffy, “ Usopp comments looking nervous. “ The mob? I mean that’s sort of –“

“I trust Sanji, “ Luffy says with a shrug, and then glances at Zoro with a grin. “ And Zoro! You’ll take care of him right?”

Zoro rolls his eyes. “ I’ll try. The idiot didn’t even want to go to the police.”

“ What?” Chopper shrieks. “ He has to! He could be in danger!”

“I convinced him eventually, “ Zoro says, and sinks down lower in his chair. “I’m worried about him though. He still had to go to work and shit.”

The worry Zoro feels in his heart, is reflected uneasily on Usopp and Chopper’s faces. They glance around at each other uneasily. Only Luffy seems carefree.

“ Sanji can take care of himself, “ Luffy asserts again. “ If he needs help he’ll ask for it! Now let’s play Usopp.”

Zoro spends the rest of the afternoon watching the three boys play mindless video games, as he tries to ignore his worry over Sanji. Sanji texts him a time to meet, and Zoro suggests he heads to Luffy’s before they visit Brook. Zoro is hoping Luffy might come with them. Luffy is always good for protection, but Zoro is certain between him and Sanji they could handle any threats. No, what Zoro hopes is Luffy will be a buffer for him emotionally. He needs to reach out and stack all the dominoes up again, find all the words he needs to say and steel himself for confessing to Sanji, again. The task which seems to be growing larger the longer he waits. He feels like it will be a relief to expel the words at this point, like extracting some long festering poison that should have been an elixir of life…

In any case, Sanji agrees to meet him at Luffy’s at 6:30, to which not only Luffy, but Usopp and Chopper agree to go as well.

“I want to see Brook anyways,” Usopp says with a shrug/ “And I’m down as long as you’re sure that we won’t get attacked by mafia thugs.”

“No promises, “ Zoro says with a shrug and looks with slight amusement as Usopp’s dark eyes widen with overexaggerated fear. He isn’t as nervous and scared as he used to be though, back in the day when his knees would knock together and he couldn’t even talk to a girl. Usopp’s much more content with who he is now, and Zoro can’t help but be proud of his friend.

Chopper too, looks nervous but determined. He also is much less afraid and scared of the world around him, and embraces it instead.

Zoro admits that he is sad for them, like his other friends, that they didn’t achieve the dreams they’d set out to accomplish when they were younger. Usopp was an architect instead of an artist, and Chopper was a teacher instead of a doctor. They claimed to be content, but Zoro felt a disturbed sadness that they had not achieved their goals in life.

While he is still working towards his.

 _Both_ of his goals: being the best flyer, and being with Sanji.

By the time 6:30 rolls around, he’s on the edge of his seat, ready to see Sanji and get him to the cops. But also to tell the stupid blond about the heavy feelings sitting inside him like boulders at the bottom of  a pool. He doesn’t care what obstacle gets in his way this time. He doesn’t care if a meteor hits or his insides decide to churn about him like a milkshake. He will tell Sanji what he feels, audience or no. Luffy’s sideways glances, and sneaky grins make Zoro think Luffy knows what he’s thinking somehow.

Unfortunately, the determination is quickly overtaken with worry, as the minutes tick by and its suddenly 6:45.

Zoro frowning, calls Sanji and listens as the phone rings until it gets to voicemail. He tries to reassure himself that Sanji is stuck in traffic and is probably perfectly fine…

But the feeling in his chest tightens from nerves to anxiousness. Zoro calls him again.

Its around 6:50 that the others start to look nervous too. Usopp offers to try Sanji as well, but gets the same result.

“ Do you think the mafia got him?” Chopper asks wide eyed.

Zoro huffs through his nose and stands up. Sick of waiting, sick of worrying he turns towards the door.

“ I’ll go find him,” He says gruffly and heads out, determined to find the damn blonde, and to confront him once and for all.

But just as Zoro reaches the door, and just as he’s about to yank it backwards, it instead bursts open.

Sanji is there, clutching his side. His blonde hair messy and full of twigs. His clothes ripped and torn. He pants and glances up, at Zoro, who feels his shock and panic collide within him like stars exploding in agonizing trepidation...

Sanji gives him a weak grin and clutches his side tighter. Only then does Zoro see thick red blood gushing through his fingers, and cascading down his already damp shirt and pants, like a horrific waterfall.

“Hey Marimo,” Sanji says hoarsely. “ So you were right… again…. I just got stabbed…”

Then Sanji collapses forward on his knees, and halfway into Zoro’s arms.

“Chopper!” Zoro screams, as Sanji’s blue eyes flutter shut.


	7. Anvil Crawler

“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci 

* * *

2 Years Ago

 

The hospital is dreary and dull, and Zoro is in a _lot_ of pain. His chest, and his eye are aching and throbbing like a horrific drum beat. It feels like it echoes all through his body, from his toes to the top of his head.

He stares at the green tinged tiles in the ceiling and tries to ignore the pain. He’s already maxed out the morphine dose although he keeps hitting the button in hopes a bit more will drip down. He sighs heavily as the ceiling begins to blur and instead he recalls the incident that got him stuck in here.

It’s all he can think about.

He replays it over and over in his head.

It had started fine. It had been clear skies for the most part, just a bit of a weather warning of incoming storms. His flight path should have passed the storm before it got to him.

But it’d moved faster than the weather network had anticipated. It had been too bad he hadn’t had Nami warning him about it, she was always right.

But Nami hadn’t been on his headset last night. And Zoro hadn’t been able to outmaneuver the fast rolling clouds. They’d covered the sky like thick molasses, as dark as bruises. The plane had been buffeted by winds that threatened to tear it apart. The thunder that had boomed outside sounded as if it’d been hammering on Kietsu’s wings and thumping Zoro’s own heart. He’d been too high up, and too lost. His connection with ground support had been broken and full of static.

And as he’d tried to steady the plan, in between lightning flashes, and squinting through sideways rain so thick it looked like a white sheet, he’d kept thinking about Kuina.

Kuina, who’d been a better pilot then him and in a storm when she’d died. She’d fallen from a height of 20, 000 feet, been crushed by her plane, hopeless and totally alone. Her body had been unrecognizable. All she had been was a smear on the ground.

And Zoro had been falling too.

He’d tried to control it and make an emergency landing, but a piece of the plane had been ripped off, and the engine had been failing…

He’d been falling, and he’d needed to steady out the plane.

But all he’d heard was static on the radio, and the rain pounding on the plane and the thunder breaking his ear drums in half. All he’d seen was the dark rolling clouds and, in the flashes of lightning, his broken plane. All he’d felt was Kietsu fighting him as he tried to level out, the cold wind howling like a monster.

And he’d kept thinking about Kuina, as he rocketed towards the earth…

Zoro winces as he remembers that feeling of falling, of being so utterly helpless. He turns his head away from the ceiling tiles, and instead focuses his blurry drugged eyes on the window outside. Its dark out, meaning its late. He feels the wound in his chest give another horrible throb, and fights the urge to reach for the button to aimlessly push for more medicine or even to call the nurse…

But he doesn’t do either. He knows that he’s rather lucky to have escaped such a horrific crash with only a few injuries. Granted, the injury across his chest is far from minor. He managed to execute an emergency landing, but the plane’s propellers had flown off, and one had cut him right across the chest, from shoulder to hip, almost slicing him in half. Another bit of debris had sliced his eye form the top of his forehead to the middle of his cheek. It is sealed shut now, and possibly ruined forever.

He had not escaped entirely unscathed, but he is alive. Even the plane is salvageable. The few friends that have come to see him, have told him as much, as well as the doctors and nurses. He’s alive. It’s a miracle.

He lays here now, trying to reconcile the feelings he’s having. The reminders of Kuina are making him feel incredibly depressed, but mostly he’s thinking of how terrified he’d been of going the same way as she had. And then feeling ashamed of being afraid at all. He also keeps thinking over and over again, why after two such horrible storms in his life, he’d lived and Kuina had died?

The thoughts clatter around in his morphine drenched mind like a blender. He wishes more than anything to be let out of this hospital and to have a drink.

A noise from the door, has him lazily turning his head. The pillow he’s lying on is scratchy and thin. He wishes that he was home, on the air base with Koshiro’s tea boiling on the stove. And he _really_ wants a drink.

But he supposes any distraction would do.

He registers someone standing in the door of his room, talking to a nurse. They are just one fuzzy shape right now, probably because of the drugs. But after a few moments of blinking, Zoro begins to discern the blurry shapes and indistinct colours into a person he knows very well.

Sanji is at his door.

Zoro doesn’t realize he’s smiling until his injured eye begins to hurt horribly. He tries to stop the dumb dopey grin he knows is spreading over his face, but he just can’t. He is too damn happy that Sanji is there. Out of everyone who’s been to see him, Sanji has been glaringly missing. Zoro hasn’t blamed him. He’s out of state, and Sanji has a newish marriage to think about. And Zoro has only been here for a day.

And still, here Sanji is, alone and staring at him with blue eyes the colour of calm peaceful skies. Zoro stares into those eyes for a while before he realizes that Sanji is speaking. His words sound slow and far away, as if Sanji is under water.

Zoro focuses harder, locking on Sanji’s lips, which are cracked and dry, but a pretty pink colour.

“Moss head?” he hears, and he tries to regain his focus on Sanji’s speech or his whole face. And that’s when he sees Sanji is smiling back at him. A tiny one, that speaks of fondness and a bit of amusement.

“Cook,” Zoro croaks out, his voice hoarse. “What…you doin’ here?” He can hear the slur in his words now. He’s high as hell.

Sanji chuckles, and Zoro gets distracted by the laugh. It sounds like church bells on a high peak, ringing through the air like music.

“… to see you dumbass. See if you’re alright.”

Zoro blinks and processes what Sanji said, slowly.

“Fine,” he grunts. “ ‘m fine. Didn’t… have ta… come.”

Sanji only shakes his head and pulls up a chair to sit beside Zoro. Zoro watches every movement like it’s in slow motion. He appreciates the way Sanji moves now. It’s so fluid, like a dancer.

“What are friends for?” Sanji says and gives Zoro one of his trademark shit eating grins.

Zoro returns the grin automatically. And as he focuses on Sanji, for the first time since he was brought to the hospital, he feels that small doubtful hated part of himself fall away, like ashes on the wind.

“Glad you’re here.”

The voice echoes through the room, and Zoro realizes only after it’s said that _he_ mumbled the phrase. He feels a bit of apprehension, as it isn’t what they usually say to each other.

But Sanji doesn’t seemed fazed. He only smirks wider and pulls up the blanket so it touches Zoro’s chin.

“Yeah Moss head, I’m glad you’re here too.”

And Zoro, in his drugged up state, suddenly thinks that maybe he should tell Sanji. Tell Sanji that every time he looks at him he feels both better and worse. That in this shitty hospital room, lying weak and wounded, Zoro would rather have Sanji here, almost as much as his sister.

Zoro feels the words forming in his mind. Three tiny ones that get jumbled up around his emotions like string tangled in a drawer. He thinks only briefly of Sanji being married but dismisses it as somehow unimportant. What does some stupid legal paper mean in the end? Nothing. What means something is the .. _stuff_ flying around inside of Zoro. Zoro always is flying in the air, always so close to touching the sky, that he forgets how mortal he is. And now he’s tasted death, just like Kuina.

So, what does it _matter_ that Sanji is someone else’s?

Zoro opens his mouth to say it. To finally tell Sanji exactly what it feels like to be with him, to be in _love_ with him…

But his mouth is numb, and the world is spinning. And there is still Kuina in the back of his mind, haunting him slightly.

So, the jumbled words churn in his head like butter, flinging them around carelessly until they crash, like the Kietsu had so recently done.

And they are gone.

“Get some rest moss head,” Sanji tells him, sounding far away. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And Zoro closes his eyes at once, absolutely believing him.

That damn cook always seems to be there to catch him when he needs it.

And he finally fades into a sleep without nightmares, the last thing he feels is the cook’s hand squeezing his own.

* * *

1 day from now.

 

Sanji’s hospital, where Chopper had spent a few wasted hours of his internships back when he was in medical school, looks just as dreary and smells just as unearthly clean as all hospitals do. The memory of Kuina’s stint in here, as well as a few of his own mishaps in places like this, rise in Zoro’s mind like unwanted garbage in a polluted river. He, along with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp are waiting outside emerge, where a good friend of Luffy and Chopper’s, Dr. Trafalgar Law, is tending to Sanji’s cut personally. They’ve assessed the stab initially and told them it had hit no major arteries, and was no real threat to Sanji’s life.

“It’s shallow, and easily stitched. We’ll give a blood transfusion but then he should be fine, “ Law had said in that cold and calculating voice he had.

Now the rest of their friends are informed, and all are waiting, worriedly, outside Sanji’s room. Brook’s even brought two trusted detectives that have questioned Zoro and the others about what had happened.

They are talking lowly now with Brook, and oddly with Robin. Zoro keeps glancing from them to the doors where Sanji disappeared. He sucks in a tight breath and gets up to face the cops.

“So,” He says when he reaches the two detectives. Both are young but determined, Coby and someone else whose name Zoro can’t remember. “What’s the plan?”

“We were just discussing that Sanji should probably take a vacation,” Robin says lightly. “There’s the option of witness protection but they seem to think that might be unnecessary.”

Robin doesn’t give away if she believes in this decision or not. But Zoro is pretty sure she doesn’t approve by the slight tightness to her lips.

“We believe that Mr. Vinsm-“

“Black,” Zoro interrupts, annoyed already that Sanji’s shitty ransom note had the last name he no longer carried or cared about.

“Mr. Black,” the man says with a nod. “Is a low profile target. We believe that if he goes on an extended vacation the area will calm, and he will be able to come back in relative peace.”

“It’s rather risky,” Brook says with a frown. “What if they come after him?” Robin gives a subtle nod beside him.

“We are more than happy to send an officer for protection- “The detective begins but Zoro interrupts.

“I can take him,” He supplies quickly.

The detectives look at Zoro in confusion. But both Robin and Brook look at him with immediate understanding. And by their approving looks they seem to like the idea.

“I’m a pilot,” He says calmly. “I could fly him in my plane to Fiji or something.”

The detectives look uneasy. “We aren’t really sure- “

“It sounds like a good idea Zoro,” Robin interrupts, and to Zoro’s surprise the detectives quiet down. “I can of course put a tracer in your plane, and if you need any help you could contact Brook or myself and we will send you aide.”

Zoro nods slowly, feeling relief settle in his gut as he imagines Sanji safe away from all this craziness. It would probably not be too bad if they got away from Pudding and his hectic life at the law firm either.

“That’s decided then,” Brook says jovially. “We’ll keep an eye on the situation here and inform you when we believe it’s safe to come back.”

“We’ll just have to clear it with Sanji first,” Robin hums politely. Zoro sighs. That was probably going to be a pain. Sanji is stubborn, and a workaholic. He never takes a break and will not appreciate being forced on any vacation even if it is to save his life.

Just then the emergency doors swing open, and Zoro looks up to see Sanji being wheeled out, to his obvious discomfort, in a wheel chair. Zoro feels overwhelming relief at seeing the fiery man looking disgruntled and normal. And watches happily as his friends all swarm around him, looking relieved themselves. Sanji smiles sheepishly at Nami, and happily at Usopp. It makes Zoro ache horribly, but he can’t look away.

And it hits him what he volunteered for. He’s volunteered to take Sanji far away, _alone_ , on a plane. He imagines for an instance an image of flying with Sanji. It fills him with a great happiness. Flying with his favorite person in the entire world is as close to paradise as Zoro can imagine…

Although it will probably be nothing like that, especially if (or really when) Sanji rejects Zoro.

“Do you want anyone else to go with you Zoro?” Robin asks him from his left, interrupting his thoughts.

Zoro blinks, but still doesn’t look away from Sanji. He answers Robin anyways.

“No,” he says, feeling a smidge of guilt for his selfishness, but not helping it when he speaks louder still. “No. I think we’ll be fine on our own.”

* * *

Its surprisingly easy to convince Sanji to leave his home and his work for an indefinite amount of time. Even more surprising its easier still when Sanji finds out Zoro’s taking him.

“You’d do that?” Sanji asks in surprise.

“Of course,” Zoro grumbles, and hates when he catches a few titters of laughter from the friends that are behind Sanji. He glares at them and they cut their laughter short.

Sanji is only staring at Zoro though, a bit incredulously.

“But… what about your job? Don’t you have to leave again soon?”

“Curly,” Zoro says with an eyeroll. “This is kind of important. And besides who’s to say that this won’t blow over before I have to go back to work?”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Sanji says with a shake of his head. His expression is still astonished. Zoro tries not to feel too offended about it.

“You didn’t,” He says shortly. “I’m doing this. Now are you coming or not?”

Sanji gives him one more indecipherable look, then grins at him.

“Hell yeah. I haven’t been up in your planes for _years_.”

“Really?” Zoro says, now, the shock at Sanji’s easy acceptance coursing through him. “You’re not going to bitch about missing work?”

Sanji snorts, “I’ve built up a plethora of vacation and personal days. And I don’t have too many crazy cases. They owe me this.”

Zoro merely nods and ignores the growing whispers and knowing nudges amongst his friends.

“Ah now I wish I was going on a vacation with Zoro,” Luffy grumbles, as Nami elbows him hard in the ribs.

“I’m glad that’s settled,” Robin says with a happy nod.

Zoro can’t help but agree with her.

* * *

They head up together to Sanji’s apartment, where Zoro is also staying for the night. They’re followed by the two detectives who let them know they’ll be monitoring this place for the night and escorting them to Zoro’s airfield the next morning.

Zoro and Sanji bid their friends farewell in the parking garage. Almost everyone gives Zoro a significant look. Nami looks at him catlike, with gleaming eyes of mischief.

“We’ll see you tomorrow morning!” She calls to them. Luffy somehow managed to convince them all to come to a quick bid Zoro and Sanji farewell party/breakfast the next day. Zoro isn’t sure how well that will go over but promised, as Sanji did, to try to make it to Luffy’s house before they headed out.

Now that Zoro has time to process what’s happened in the last few hours, he feels as if a hurricane passed him by and landed him precisely where he was before. Only last night had he been headed up to Sanji’s apartment to confess to him and find out about Pudding after all. And now here he is again, but this time, with Sanji limping slightly from the stab wound. It feels like there are higher stakes now. Zoro feels as if, for some reason, his last chance is thinning out, disappearing into oblivion. It scares him, almost as much as it drives him forward. He helps Sanji the last few steps to his apartment; Sanji’s face is pinched with pain.

“You good?” Zoro asks carefully, watching Sanji for any signs of true discomfort that would warrant a call to the hospital.

“Yeah,” Sanji says with a pained huff of breath. He reaches out to his door and shakily unlocks and opens it. They head into the dark apartment, Zoro with a steadying hand on Sanji’s arm, and Sanji looking for the lights. Zoro feels as if the shadows are moving, all of them another potential threat, to get at Sanji and finish the job of the stabber.

Sanji for his part has retold his statement to the cops, informing them of the incident. He told them how he was attacked by three men, all who had been armed with knives. They had erupted out of a nearby alleyway, grabbed hold and tried to slit his throat. He’d fought two of them off, but the third had managed to stab him in the gut, before Sanji was able to really kick his lights out.

Unfortunately, when the cops had gotten back to the alley Sanji had described, the men had been gone.

“I feel so old,” Sanji mumbles, as he finally flicks the lights on and reveals that there are no murderers waiting in the shadows, just the empty looking apartment.

“Because you are,” Zoro quips, even as he guides Sanji to the couch.

“We’re the same age asshole,” Sanji grouses as he sits down gingerly on the sofa, cringing slightly as he does so.

Zoro stands, hovering slightly, and feeling like a worried mother. To try to counteract this feeling he crosses his arms gruffly over his chest.

“Don’t matter,” He grumbles. “You’ve been like a grouchy old man since you were ten and swore like one too.”

Sanji’s mouth twitches into a crocked smile and he closes his eyes leaning back against the sofa. “I feel like an old man. I’m losing my touch if I let some henchman stab me.”

“Should train more then,” Zoro says with a shrug, and heads to the kitchen to get some water for Sanji and himself. He grabs a few glasses fills them with tap water and comes back into the living room.

“No wine?” Sanji asks petulantly.

Zoro rolls his eyes. “Pretty sure your pain meds and the wine wouldn’t mix well. “

“That’d be a party, “Sanji says laughing slightly. “I do feel a tad woozy.”

Zoro is expecting the drug to hit Sanji a bit harder later on. The doctor had warned him they could make Sanji feel a bit high. And while high Sanji is always a hilarious show, Zoro wants him sober of mind at least for a little bit.

He sits down beside Sanji. His rehearsed words echoing in his mind like a mantra.

 _Sanji._ It was good to begin with the cook’s name, to show that Zoro was serious for once. Also to just _say_ it. He should say it out loud more often, instead of tucking it in his head right next to his all-consuming and very inconvenient love for a straight man…

 _I want to talk to you about something. It’s something I’ve kept hidden from you for a long time. A long fucking time._ Swearing is always good around Sanji. It speaks Sanji language. Plus, it emphasizes Zoro’s point. Sanji will get that.

_I know that I’ve been cowardly, and I know that me saying what I’m about to say will, probably, be a disaster. But I owe it to you and to myself to tell you._

_Because… Sanji… I love you. I’ve loved you, I think, since we were kids. I_ knew _I loved you in College. It was torture for me to see you with Pudding. But I wanted you to be happy. I know you’re straight but I want you to understand. I can’t keep it in anymore. I can’t stop. I love you more than anyone ever has or ever will. I think it’s more than just attraction. I think we belong together. Can you believe that cook? How fucking sappy I am about you? All your romance rubbed off on me at some point. But if I was to believe in any of that soul mate bullshit you spout, or even about unconditional love, it would probably be with you…._

Well... Zoro will probably end it on the _I love you_. If he can even get that out.

Zoro glances at Sanji, who is sipping his water slowly, that thoughtful look in his eyes. Sanji is probably thinking about his life and death situation. Probably thinking about his ex. Probably worrying about her family killing him. Maybe he’s even thinking about work or about Zeff (who Sanji had called at the hospital and explained things too). Sanji basically has a lot on his plate and a lot to think about.

And it’s the perfect time for Zoro to back out. It’s the perfect opportunity for Zoro to escape another chance to confess and try another day.

But he’s done with that shit.

He faces it head on instead.

“Sanji,” He says softly.

Sanji glances at him, his eyes half lidded, and unfocused.

“Sanji,” Zoro insists, wanting his full attention.

Sanji’s eyes lock on Zoro then, and he comes back from wherever he was, to focus on Zoro. It makes Zoro’s heart skip around like a rollercoaster, and his palms grow sweaty. He meets the blue eyes and doesn’t look away.

“Oh sorry,” Sanji says blinking free the last of his far away thoughts. “Just thinking….”

“Right,” Zoro says with a nod, pausing a moment to take a breath, to take one last breath, before he leaps.

And falls.

But Sanji speaks in that moment, and derails Zoro’s train of thought.

“You know,” Sanji says softly. “I really… appreciate what you’re doing Zoro.”

Zoro blinks in surprise and tries to catch himself emotionally from plummeting into a confession. Obviously Sanji has other things to talk about first.

No big deal, it’s not like Zoro can’t wait a few more moments.

His hands clench into fists anyways. Sanji can never make this fucking easy for him, can he?

“It’s no problem,” Zoro waves it away hastily. “Listen-“

“No it-it means a lot to me,” Sanji says, stubbornly. “ I want to thank you properly. I mean you’re risking so much for me.”

“Sanji,” Zoro says, feeling a bit exasperated now. “When I say it means nothing, it means nothing. I would do this for you anytime... for any of our friends too. You’re in danger, I’m getting you out. It just makes sense.”

Sanji actually blushes a bit at that, and Zoro feels the longing in his chest lengthen like chewed bubble gum stretched thin.

“Well… thanks. I wish you’d stick around a lot more, “ Sanji says with a sigh. “I’m not used to … well with Pudding I guess... I’m not used to favours costing nothing you know? I felt that when I was with her, everything she did for me I would have to return in kind. Everything I did for her she owed to me… just another facet of the pile of shit we called our loving marriage,” He rubs his eyes tired but still shoots Zoro a smile.

The smile is tired, but sincere. It’s bright but innocent. It’s a smile that Zoro recognizes as _his_ smile. A smile Sanji gives him at the end of a sparring match, or after a long day at work. It’s a smile that defines their friendship: Long, difficult, and ultimately worth it. They will always be there for each other, and Sanji gives him that smile to acknowledge that and thank him. It’s that smile, more than anything that is the tipping point.

And Zoro feels something inside of him break loose.

He just can’t take it anymore. All the words fly out of his head like a flock of birds taking flight. And instead he leans forward, his hand coming up without Zoro’s permission, cupping Sanji’s face tenderly.

Sanji’s eyes widen in surprise, and before Zoro can lose his nerve, he leans forward, closing his eyes, and pressing his lips to Sanji’s.

His actions always spoke louder than his words after all.

He expects to be pushed back immediately but when he isn’t, Zoro moves his lips tentatively, and brushes his hand through Sanji’s hair. He tries to convey in the gentlest way he’s ever been with Sanji, just what this means, and how much he fucking feels for the man in his arms… how much he feels bursting inside him.

It’s a short kiss though, and he’s pretty sure all he conveys is how short a kiss can be, before he breaks it, and leans back.

He keeps his eyes closed for a moment more, reveling in the fact that he kissed Sanji, and trying not to erupt in joy. He takes another moment to imagine that Sanji’s face won’t be twisted in disgust, and horror. That moment of ignorant bliss before he has to open his eyes.

He does so, and locks on shocked splashes of blue in a pale face.

But there isn’t any horror or disgust. Sanji simply sits there frozen on the couch, Zoro’s hand still touching his cheek.

Zoro starts to remove it quickly, feeling fear, fear that has accumulated for twenty some years, course through his veins like an inescapable darkness.

But Sanji, quick as lightening with his hands, reaches up and stops him. He grips Zoro’s hand tightly in his own, his cool hand making fire zing up Zoro’s skin.

Zoro stares at Sanji now, who’s blue eyes are locked on Zoro with an intensity that Zoro has never seen. Sanji says nothing, he merely moves the hand back to his cheek, and cradles it in his own.

Zoro feels as if he’s watching this from a distance, disbelief flowing through him, as he realizes that Sanji isn’t rejecting him, isn’t pushing him away... but pulling him closer.

Zoro isn’t sure he could stop himself if he tried, isn’t sure what he’s feeling besides elation, and immense relief, and perhaps even overwhelming joy, so fiercely he doesn’t recognize it, like a bright light so brilliant it seems dark.

Zoro surges forward, almost at the same time Sanji does, and they’re locked in a kiss. A kiss of desperate unimaginable force. Zoro has never been kissed like this, he’s never _kissed_ like this. He feels as if they’re sparring, as if they’re fusing. He feels nothing and everything. He pulls Sanji tighter, but it isn’t tight enough. Sanji’s breath in his own tastes as good as his meals, his skin feels as good as he always imagined. They don’t talk. Zoro isn’t’ sure he’ll ever be able to talk again. They merely fall into each other, like two magnets finally being allowed to fuse together after so long of being held apart.

And Zoro almost thinks it’s as if Sanji has been wanting him as much as Zoro has all these years…

And for the first time in a long time, Zoro feels his heart fill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo finally right? ;)  
> Also just thought I'd share that this is what an Anvil Crawler (AKA sweet ass lightning) looks like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpCeT2MUyqE


	8. Touch and Go

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” ~ James Joyce

* * *

 6 Months Ago

 

The day is sunny and bright, with a wafty breeze that hit Zoro’s face just enough to cool it. The ocean glints before him, in all its sapphire beauty, while his crazy group of friends shout and shriek within its gentle waves. Zoro watches with amusement, from his low lounge chair on the shore, as Usopp dunks Luffy for about the tenth time, as Luffy has no idea how to swim.

Zoro is enjoying himself as well. His ideal last day, may not contain him getting buried in sand every time he falls asleep, or being forced to rub sun tan lotion on Nami’s back, but it is certainly a good way to spends his last days with his friends before he flies off to South America.

He takes a long pull from his bottle, draining the last warm dregs of it. He smiles as he watches Chopper join Usopp and Luffy, climb on top of Usopp’s shoulder in an attempt to help Luffy, but instead ends up falling in the water himself.

Nami and Robin are lounging next to Zoro, sun tanning. Nami is reading some trashy magazine, and Robin is reading a book as thick as an encyclopedia. Brook is parked on the other side of them, strumming a guitar mindlessly and sneaky peaks at their bikini clad bodies, being the perverted old man he is. Franky disappeared a while ago, promising to come back with something “super”. Robin told Zoro and Nami, in a low voice and mischievous smile, that it’s a speed boat that Franky has apparently made himself.

The only friend that’s missing is Sanji. But that isn’t exactly a rare occurrence. Sanji is busy being married to Pudding, like he’s been for years now.

Zoro tries to ignore the twist of pain he gets in his chest, and the roll of nausea he feels in his gut every time he thinks about Sanji and Pudding…

Zoro knows that he needs to stop thinking about Sanji. He has to stop obsessing over a happily married man.

So, it will be good for him to go to South America. Good to get away from Sanji and Pudding, and all the fucking pain that comes with it.

As Zoro is thinking about his upcoming trip, he hears the sound of a car pulling up behind him. He, as well as the others sprawled lazily on the beach, look over to see Franky’s jeep, with Franky looking very pleased sitting in the driver’s seat.

In the passenger seat, sits Sanji.

Zoro feels shock, and then delight race through him. His heart beat climbs to new heights and he fumbles his beer bottle a bit in his shock to stand up.

Franky with a wide grin, honks the horn, then exits the jeep.

“SANJI!” Luffy shouts from the water, predictably followed by, “FOOD!”

Because, sure enough, Sanji is exiting the car himself with a cooler full of food. He places it on the ground for a moment and then hurriedly opens the back door. Zoro supposes there is probably even more food in the back. He stares at Sanji’s slim figure, his heart beat still loud in his ears.

But soon, his heart sinks like a stone. Because there _is_ a cooler in the back of the large jeep, but it is carried by feminine pearl coloured hands.

Pudding is here too.

Zoro hastily looks away. He hears the rest of his friends all gather around Sanji, greeting him happily.

Zoro knows it’s rude of him not to do so as well, but his eyes keep wandering to Pudding’s graceful form, and he hesitates. She has on a large white beach hat, big sunglasses, and a pretty yellow summer dress. She looks picture perfect, and even more so standing beside Sanji. Sanji is decked out in a white button up shirt, and khaki shorts, making his pale skin look a bit darker, and matching well with Pudding. They look like those couples you see in catalogues, too happy to be real.

Zoro can’t stand to watch anymore. He sits down, going into his own cooler, and pulling out one of his last beers. He stares stubbornly at the ocean, as he hears the happy chatter echoing behind him.

No one calls out to him to greet Sanji. It seems they are all too busy eating Sanji’s food and talking happily with him themselves. Zoro sips his warm beer, and watches as the sun sinks a bit lower, turning the sea red and gold.

He expects everyone, except maybe Luffy, to continue to ignore him, especially while they are eating what smells like delicious food straight from the Baratie. So, it’s a surprise, when he hears the soft thumps of footsteps in the sand, and the low husky smoker’s voice of Sanji talking above him.

“Hey Moss head.”

Against Zoro’s better judgement, he looks up at the stupid nickname, and sees Sanji’s wide grinning face staring down at him. The bright sunshine shines brightly off Sanji’s blonde hair, the sea breeze blowing it into his bright blue eyes. He looks happy, but tired. Zoro sees the bags under his eyes and the slight drop of his shoulders.

Zoro feels his mouth go dry at the sight of him, and hastily turns away, trying to keep his face neutral and not show any of the mixture of pain and joy stirring in the deepest part of his chest. This is why he avoids Sanji when he comes back to the states. This is why he always tries to arrange things when Sanji will be busy or working. And Sanji always seems only too happy to comply with the excuses Zoro hopes he will give. This is the first time in ages that Zoro has seen him.

Why is Sanji even here? Sanji said he and Pudding were doing some kind of fundraiser thing and didn’t have time for the beach. Zoro had been relieved and disappointed when he heard that. He’s always such a mess of emotions around Sanji.

“What are you doing here, Curly?” Zoro asks, looking ahead stubbornly at the ocean, but being super aware of everything Sanji is doing beside him.

Zoro is surprised again, when Sanji sits down next to him, in one swift motion, with a long sigh.

“I convinced Pudding to cancel,” Sanji says, and Zoro sneaks a peak at him. He’s pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his thin lips. He turns and catches Zoro looking, but only smiles around the cigarette.

Zoro hastily turns away, feeling a rush of emotions almost make him want to run away or do something else drastic like kiss Sanji right here and now… in front of everyone.

“Why’d you do that?” Zoro asks gruffly again, trying to sound like he doesn’t give a shit what the answer will be.

“I had to see you off,” Sanji comments lightly, like it’s no big deal that he would cancel plans with Pudding for _Zoro._ “I haven’t seen you for a while. Plus, I hate those functions. Pudding always promises that they won’t be boring, but they almost always are.”

Sanji smiles at Zoro again, in this soft way that just catches at Zoro’s heart and won’t release him.

“Do what you want,” Zoro mutters gruffly under his breath.

Sanji lets out a breath of laughter and leans back further in the lawn chair. He really does look tired; his whole body seems to sag deeper into the sand.

“I needed a beach day anyways,” He says under his breath. “It’s been a long week.”

“Hard week at work?” Zoro asks.

Sanji hesitates for a moment, giving Zoro a small glance before nodding. “Yeah. Works been hell. New case and it’s not going well.”

“Sucks, cook,” Zoro comments. Sanji shrugs, then takes out his lighter, to finally light the cigarette dangling from his mouth. Zoro watches him for a moment, and then forces himself to look away from Sanji’s mouth. He can’t linger long on places like Sanji’s lips, places he has no right to look at or ache for...

He does see though, a slight shake in Sanji’s hand, as he goes to take the cigarette from in between his teeth and feels a stab of concern. Sanji only shakes like that when he’s low on cigarettes, or very stressed. The only worse thing would be tugging his hair, or shutting down every emotion completely…

“Should take some time off then,” Zoro says firmly. “If you’re stressed.”

Sanji lets out a low sarcastic laugh. “Unlikely. It’s sort of a hectic time with that case. Plus, Pudding really wants her Charity Bake to go over well … That’s the fundraiser I was going to go to. I have to help her with all that, plus the grand opening of her café. Not to mention I need to help Zeff with the Baratie. He fired his Sous Chef _again._ Or he says he did. The guy probably quit. You can’t yell at people like Zeff does and except them to stay.”

“Sounds like you need a vacation more than ever,” Zoro says, pointedly again. And Sanji halts, and gives Zoro a sheepish look.

“I guess so,” he says with a small huff.

“Should at least go to that aquarium you always liked, down on Blue Street,” Zoro says after a small moment of careful thought. He remembers going there with Sanji on a high school field trip back when they were juniors, and the how Sanji had _loved_ it. His face had lit up like a Christmas tree. He’d been the first to get in, and the last one to leave. After the field trip, Sanji would always go there when he was feeling bad, overwhelmed, or stressed, sometimes dragging Zoro with him.

As a high school shit head, Zoro had hated Sanji back then, or at least thought he had. But when he’d seen him at the aquarium, Sanji’s face split with a wide boyish smile, that stretched almost as far as Luffy’s, Zoro had not felt hatred. It’d been the first time Zoro had ever felt the now familiar jolt in his chest, and the first time he’d thought Sanji wasn’t as big an asshole as he had previously thought… 

Zoro shakes off the lingering memories and realizes that Sanji hasn’t said anything about Zoro’s suggestion to visit the aquarium. He glances over and sees Sanji looking at him in surprise.

“You… remember All Blue Aquarium?” Sanji asks, wonderingly.

Zoro frowns.

“Of course, I fucking remember it,” Zoro says with a slight eye roll. “You loved that place. It always made you feel better too.”

Sanji’s bright blue eyes study Zoro for a moment, cutting into Zoro rather sharply, like sea glass in the sun. And slowly, Sanji’s shock and scrutiny melts into another expression that Zoro has ever seen on Sanji’s face before. And for once, Zoro has no idea what emotion it is or what Sanji is feeling. It’s a soft incredulous look. A look of happy amazement, that seems to calm Sanji’s solid blue eyes into softer waves. It makes Zoro’s heart skip, and for one moment as they look at each other, Zoro feels like those blue eyes are _seeing_ him. Seeing him for what he is, and what he feels, and that Sanji … that he _knows…_

The moment… or whatever it is, is broken by Pudding’s voice.

“Sanji!” She shouts. “Come here!”

Sanji’s eyes flicker away at the sound of her voice, turning towards her immediately, and breaking off any sort of look that Sanji and Zoro had shared. 

As Sanji looks away, so does Zoro, and this time he feels like he’s reeling and slightly lost. It feels like he’s crashed into reality after flying in a dream for a brief moment. So brief it could be, he imagined it…

Disappointment and anger fill his chest, as he again glares at the ocean, trading the blue colour of Sanji’s eyes with the sea’s. His grip tightens on his beer bottle.

“Should go to the aquarium with Pudding,” He mumbles, his voice sounding slightly bitter. He hopes Sanji doesn’t notice.

Sanji clears his throat. “Uh... yeah. Maybe. I- uh better go. It was good talking to you again, Mossy.”

Sanji stands up, and brushes sand off his pants, waving at Pudding, who nods at him, with a sweet but strained smile. She pointedly ignores Zoro, which isn’t that odd, as Pudding never warmed to him like she has to all of Sanji’s other friends. She may have even sensed the resentment and dislike he held for her. He wondered if she could sense the jealousy too.

Zoro imagines her with Sanji at the aquarium, holding his hand, as they both light up and grin at the beauty of the fish in the sea. Even now seems to promise that they’re going to have a glorious time racing through the surf.

And as Sanji walks away, Zoro feels the pain rip through his chest yet again. He grits his teeth, and tries to ignore it, tries to control it.

But it makes him feels like shit.  And as he sits there, he comes to a decision.

He knows that he isn’t going to be gone for a just a few weeks in South America. He needs more time. Maybe a month, or a few… He isn’t sure.

All he knows is he never wants to feel this helpless and pathetic again.

He never wants to see Sanji with Pudding, knowing how fucking happy they are, with almost everything Zoro wants.

He knows that means staying away for as long as he possibly can.

* * *

8 hours from now.

 

When Zoro wakes the next morning, it takes him a long time to figure out where he is. He blinks at the unfamiliar ceiling in a sleepy haze. Its only when he catches a small whiff of cigarette smoke that it all comes rushing back to him in what feels like a tidal wave.

Sanji kissing him. Himself kissing Sanji.

Zoro feeling creamy skin under his own rough touch, feeling Sanji’s hot breath on his neck, and the feel of Sanji’s heartbeat against his own. He remembers lifting Sanji’s shirt before a hiss of pain had finally stopped him and Sanji from holding each other as close as possible. Instead of skin, his fingers had brushed Sanji’s bandage.

They’d sat their foreheads leant together and panting in the same air.

“Shit. Hurts,” Sanji had mumbled his lips brushing Zoro’s own.

“Let me suck you off,” Zoro had said, his brain still whirling. “That won’t hurt...much.”

Sanji had shuddered. Zoro had panicked for a hazy few seconds, thinking it was from disgust. He watched Sanji’s shoulders tense and loosen, and then he had surged forward, and kissed Zoro fiercely. Any misgivings had flown out of Zoro’s head...

Then Sanji had leaned back, his lips cherry red and swollen.

“Sure.”

Zoro shivers remembering the rest of the night in hot vivid flashes, like bolts of lightning and heat. He remembers the way he’d kissed Sanji’s pale skin. The way Sanji had gasped and moaned beneath his touch. The way he’d picked Sanji up, his legs wrapped around Zoro’s waist and deposited him in a bed. A _bed._ Zoro had never hoped that he would get so far with Sanji. And after he’d made Sanji gasp and cry out in various tones of pleasure and pain, a cacophony of sounds that Zoro had only dreamed about, Sanji had passed out in a post orgasmic bliss, the drugs kicking in, and making him sleep as soundly as calm waters.

Sanji’s golden hair had been pale in the moonlight and graced his cheek with a silver touch. His breathing had been even, and his face care free of worry or concern. He had seemed like a dream, something unreal and untouchable.

But Zoro _had_ reached out and brushed Sanji’s cheek, watching in mild amazement when Sanji would stir and a ghost of a smile would appear, almost like Zoro’s touch had made Sanji feel happy and at peace…

Zoro had tried to force himself to stay awake, unwilling to close his eyes and let everything slip away…

But obviously he’d been too tired and drained from the past few days to force himself awake for a full night, especially with how soothed his own heart was…

Now, it’s taking him a long time to believe that what happened last night wasn’t a dream.

Yet here he is, in Sanji’s bed, half naked. He’s also alone, but he can hear movement in the kitchen. He sits up quickly, his head in his hands. He tries to stop himself from panicking but can’t.

He should be elated. Last night was probably the best night of his life. But worry is slowly gnawing at the happiness like a dog chewing a bone. This isn’t last night, this is this morning.

Zoro has been in this situation before. He is the king of casual sex. He knows the art of leaving as fast as possible, and he knows the different feelings people have when the morning sun rises, and the night’s passions fade away. A lot of people regretted sleeping with Zoro or regretted their rash decision to have casual sex at all. Although, most of the time they enjoyed it, thanked him and he’d never hear from them again.

Sanji is obviously different. And Zoro is pretty sure he couldn’t stand it if Sanji told him something similar to those vast numbers of people who had left Zoro as well.

Besides that, Sanji has been known to make bad decisions while drunk and regret them in the morning… he was had been slightly drugged last night… would he be angry at Zoro for taking advantage? _Had_ Zoro taken advantage? Zoro feels worry and trepidation stampede through him quickly.

He knows though that it won’t do any good staying in bed, cowering like a pathetic weakling.

He flips off the covers and grabs the closest item of clothing he finds. He finds his sweats in a pile, thrown there the night before. Zoro opens the door carefully, worry and fear waring each other for the most space in his heart.

The sight that greets Zoro is one that he will not be forgetting any time soon. Sanji is in the kitchen, cooking something on the stove, pancakes by the smell of it. The smell of coffee also tinges the air and makes Zoro feel wider awake just with the smell of it. Sanji himself is wearing his sleepwear. Striped pajamas, and a white sleeved top. He has his back to Zoro, but his movement is as graceful as ever, his hair is shining bright gold in the kitchen light. It makes Zoro feel an absurd joy at the sight. The only thing that would make him happier if Sanji was wearing one of his t-shirts… but he realizes that’s impractical. He only has the one he wore and even Zoro lost track of it after he threw it away last night.

He steps out of the bedroom nervously and walks the short distance to the island at the kitchen.

“Morning, Cook,” He says clearing his throat of sleep. He feels awkward even before Sanji turns around and stares at him.

He isn’t smiling.

“Um... morning,” Sanji says and gives him a small smile. But there is a deep worry in those blue eyes, as it scans Zoro’s face critically as if looking for something wrong with him already.

Zoro also studies Sanji, looking at his tired face, and his slightly slouched figure. His eyes land on the small bundle under his t-shirt.

“You feeling OK?” Zoro asks, worry about having hurt Sanji bubbling up in him like a boiling pot of glue, sticking to his chest painfully.

Sanji only nods though, still looking uncomfortable. “Fine… took some pain killers this morning. I’m good… at least my stab wound is…”

He trials off, and an awkward silence follows.

Zoro doesn’t like Sanji’s wording. His stab wound is OK, but something else isn’t? Was Sanji regretting last night already?

Zoro feels a sick feeling grow in his stomach, like a peach pit blossoming into a demented fearsome tree.

“So,” Sanji says a rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, a spatula in his other. “I just want to say… I’m not sure… Well… I mean I just want to be clear that, well-”

But Zoro can’t hear anymore, because he knows what Sanji is going to say, with a certainty that frightens him. He already feels his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. There’s just no way he can hear Sanji tell him that last night was-

“I think that maybe last night was a mistake,” Sanji says softly staring at the floor.

And there it is. Zoro can’t believe how one measly sentence can make him feel as if someone’s ripped his chest open again, except this time they dumped glass shards inside him and shook him up, to make sure he felt every ounce of pain. He isn’t sure he’s felt this horrible since his sister had died. He isn’t even sure he can think a coherent thought after being rejected by the one person he’s wanted for so long...

If he’d known, it would be this painful he never would have said anything.

“I just mean,” Sanji says, looking at Zoro desperately, “I … sex like this – it isn’t really-”

“I get it,” Zoro says, and is surprised his voice isn’t as broken as he is. It sounds cold, and steely as if he’s cutting the air with his voice as he would cut a body with his sword. Sanji flinches at his tone. Zoro’s never seen Sanji flinch.

“You... do?” Sanji’s voice is tiny and quiet.

“Yeah,” _You don’t want to have sex with a man. I fucking get it. I_ get _it._ And in that moment Zoro feels like he truly hates Sanji.

“I think it was a mistake too,” Zoro says to save what’s left of his heart. If he pushes himself away from it, distances himself he might have some scraps leftover.

“Oh,” Sanji says and he looks at his feet, and won’t look up.

 _Coward_. Zoro thinks but knows it’s not true.

Sanji is one of the bravest people he knows.

He feels his throat and his eyes burn. Everything is burning. Last night he was burning too but then he’d welcomed the fire, it had felt like life. This fire felt like death.

“It was a pity fuck,” he announces. This makes Sanji’s eyes snap up to him, a bit of fiery anger burning. But there’s hurt there too.

 _Good_. Zoro thinks. If he has to fall apart then so does Sanji.

He has to get out of here before Sanji sees what he did to Zoro… is doing to him.

“Shouldn’t have done it,” He says gruffly, and sincerely. Sanji’s blue eyes swim with some emotion Zoro can’t, and doesn’t have the energy, to identify. Zoro’s eyes are swimming with a more liquid substance as he turns away.

Sanji says nothing. And the moment that Zoro has dreaded for years, sits with them, pushing Zoro down further and further until he feels only inches tall. He feels a tear slide down his cheek. He needs Sanji gone. He needs to go.

“You should probably find another flight to wherever the fuck you’re going,” Zoro says softly, and is still surprised his voice hasn’t shaken once. It’s less steely now, more wobbly.

“But-” Sanji begins to say but cuts himself off.

“Ok,” And Sanji’s voice sounds odd... off. Zoro realizes he feels guilty. Guilty for what he did to Zoro.

Sanji is pitying him.

Zoro doesn’t want his pity. It’s the last thing he wants.

He desperately looks and sees his bag in the far corner of the kitchen. He never even got unpacked. He heads towards it.

“I’ll talk to you later,” He offers, throwing into the moment, the dreadful black fucking moment, one reassurance that everything isn’t destroyed. “Call me... when you’re safe.” He adds, pleading a bit there. His voice isn’t even cold anymore, just quiet. He needs out of here. He needs to not be by Sanji.

Another tear cascades down his face. He wipes it, hoping Sanji didn’t see.

“Yeah… I will,” Sanji voice is soft too.

Zoro grabs his bag and reaches for the door. He doesn’t look back, only gives a sideways nod, and leaves the apartment slamming the door behind him.

He only makes it to the elevator before he breaks down completely.

* * *

By the time Zoro makes it to Luffy’s house, he’s still a wreck, but he isn’t screaming, crying or punching things, so it’s an improvement.

When he knocks on Luffy’s door though, instead of the bright-eyed boy he’s desperate to talk to, he runs into the person he least wants to see right now (besides the cook): Nami.

Nami takes one look at him though, and surprisingly doesn’t say anything. She only steps aside to let him in.

“Get in here,” And her voice isn’t as harsh as Zoro thought it would be. She actually is looking at him in a sad way.

“Sanji just called Robin,” Nami says with a sigh. “He says you aren’t flying him anymore.”

Zoro walks with Nami into the kitchen, where he’s surprised to see, are all his friends are seated, talking in low voices. It’s bizarre enough they’re all this quiet, but even weirder when they all look at him with the same sadness in Nami’s eyes.

“Alright sit down,” Nami says and pushes him into a bar stool, “And tell us what the fuck happened.”

Zoro numbly looks around at them. Chopper looks at him with tears cascading down his face. Usopp is looking confused and worried. Franky is also sobbing in the background. Robin looks rigid, a frown also on her face. Brook for some reason isn’t looking at him but off to the side, his face drawn as well. And Luffy… Luffy is looking at him in that way he does, with that knowing in his eyes, as if he can see Zoro better then Zoro can.

“Come on,” Nami says with a huff. “Tell us.”

Zoro just blinks at her. He feels numb now. He remembers feeling this way vaguely when Kuina had died. But one had died today. It wasn’t that big a deal, it wasn’t like anything tremendously sad had even happened. He’d just been rejected by Sanji. He had just been ... rejected … by…

He breathed in a ragged breath. And put his head in his hands again, feeling his control slipping slightly. He concentrates for a few long seconds, breathing through his nose, and forcing the control back.

When he thinks he can speak without his voice trembling, he speaks to the very eerie silent room. “He wasn’t interested,” he grits out.

“That’s it?” Nami prods, in that gentle way again. Its unnerving Zoro.

“What else do you want me to say?” He snaps, his anger thankfully sealing the last of the pain securely away. He lifts his head and glares at her.

She is unfazed, and stares back, studying him closely.

“I believe Nami means,” Robin says and steps forward, “That we want to know exactly what Sanji said-”

The name of the cook ripples through Zoro like a sound wave. He glares at Robin and interrupts her.

“He says he wasn’t interested because I was a guy. Just like I thought, like I _knew.”_ And he had known, hadn’t he? “I’m so stupid,” he mumbles and glares at the floor.

“I don’t get it,” Nami says with a shake of her head. “I was so sure…”

“We all were,” Usopp agrees. “Sanji really seemed-”

“Well he wasn’t,” Zoro growls.

“Tell us exactly what he said,” Nami demands.

Zoro does not want to relive one of the most painful moments of his life and is about to tell Nami to go to hell when Luffy speaks up.

“Yeah, Zoro tell us what Sanji said. Cause this is weird and doesn’t make sense.”

“It does make sense. He’s not fucking interested.”

“Just start from right after you told him,” Nami says impatiently.

Zoro shifts in his seat and gives her a glare.

When she doesn’t let up, he lets out a sigh, rubbing his forehead and thinking.

He realizes that he never actually did say any of the crap he’d been rehearsing. Not that it mattered now.

“I didn’t tell him,” he admits. His comment immediately gets a large reaction from everyone. Chopper stomps his foot like a child, Nami rakes a hand down her face in frustration, and everyone else basically groans. Except Luffy who just stares at Zoro with a frown and Robin who sighs.

“You absolute idiot!” Nami growls and hits him on the head.

He glares at her, rubbing the new sore spot, like he didn’t have enough pain to deal with at the moment.

“How the hell do you know if he rejected you if you didn’t confess?” Usopp cries in frustration.

Zoro glares at Usopp but thinks back to the hot and passionate night with Sanji. He’s never felt so good while with someone.

Just thinking about it made something inside Zoro twist with immense unbearable pain. He glares at Nami, feeling a bit of that anger directed towards her, for forcing him into this.

He decides to be blunt about what happened, they would find out somehow anyways.

“We kissed …and fooled around,” he mumbles lightly.    

There’s a shocked silence.

Chopper actually speaks up first looking horrified. “Sanji shouldn’t be doing any strenuous physical activity like that!”

Zoro shrugs dully. “He was fine. Sanji’s tough as hell … besides things just sort of escalated. So, I didn’t get out what I was going to say to him…but then this morning…” He takes a deep gulp of air and continues on, determined to get it out, like extracting poison from a wound.

“This morning he said it was a mistake.”

There’s another beat of silence. Zoro glances up and stares at Nami who looks at him with narrowed eyes and Chopper is still looking at him slightly horrified. But it’s Luffy who actually talks first. And for some reason he laughs.

“Wow you’re an idiot Zoro,” Luffy says with a shake of his head. “If Sanji did sexy stuff with you then he likes you! Sanji only sleeps with people he loves! You know that.”

Zoro frowns at Luffy.

“It’s not that simple-” He starts to say but Nami cuts across him.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this about relationship advice,” she says with a sigh herself, “But Luffy’s right. And you should know this Zoro. Sanji doesn’t get physical with people on a whim. He doesn’t do fucking. He ‘makes love’.” She air quotes the last line and rolled her eyes again. She is always very clear that she thinks like Zoro and that romance is bullshit.

“No,” Zoro says firmly. “He was freaked out. He-”

“Zoro,” Robin says now, stepping up beside him and giving him a gentle look herself. “I think you should really think about the way Sanji reacted this morning. Did he state clearly that he didn’t want to be with you? Did he tell you to get out?”

Zoro frowns, not wanting to relive the painful memories. Instead, he shakes his head.

“You’re wrong. He doesn’t want me-”

“Zoro,” Nami talks over him, “Please don’t do this to yourself again.”

Zoro frowns at her now. “What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything to-”

“I believe Nami is referring to your self-destructive nature,” Robin offers softly. “You see what you want, Zoro. Your stubbornness has constantly cost you happiness. You seem to think you don’t deserve it…”

“What- no I don’t!” Zoro insists, staring at them incredulous. “I’m not the one who sacrificed my dreams! I’m not the one who gave up! That’s you all!”

There’s a moment of silence, the shocked kind. Zoro immediately feels guilty… but it doesn’t last, as there’s a soft break out of incredulous laughter.

“Are you crazy?” Usopp says, with a shake of his head. “We don’t regret where we are in life…”

“Yeah Zoro,” Chopper says with a smile of his own. “Just because we aren’t chasing dreams from when we were teenagers, doesn’t mean we aren’t happy. I love being a teacher! I like it much more than being a doctor. I find it even more fulfilling… and less stressful.”  

“And I’m happy to have found a job where I get to draw and get paid for it,” Usopp says with an eye roll, “I would have been starving or something as an artist, and never have been able to support Kaya. It’s just simple math. I’m just as happy as I’ve never been.”

“Zoro,” Robin says softly again. “We’re happy with the changes we’ve made in life. We look ahead and we change. You however are stuck in the past.”

“She’s right,” Luffy says with a nod, a smile on his face that’s full and incredulous as well. “You’re thinking of the old Sanji. But the new Sanji is less stupid and knows what he wants! And that’s you!”

“Yeah moron,” Nami says with a shake of her head, “It’s obvious.”

“Really bro,” Franky says, and he’s wiping tears away now, “We all know it.”

“It’s the love story of the ages!” Brook supplies next.

And as Zoro stares at them all, shocked… he begins to see it from their point of view. All their lives gradually shifting. Not giving up, but changing…

Is he going to give up?

“So,” Robin says softly, “what did Sanji say Zoro? Think about it.”

“But not too hard, you might fry your brain,” Nami snaps, with an eye roll.

Zoro for his part, feels his traitorous heart start to beat with a tiny thrum of hope. He tries to battle it back, but his mind is swiftly whirling, as he considers what he and Sanji said this morning.

And he realizes… that they’re right. How many times had Sanji told Zoro that he would never sleep with someone if he couldn’t picture a life with them?. It was just that Sanji could imagine himself marrying any pretty women that came around and convinced himself that he was in love with them by the second date. It was why he was constantly heartbroken though. He truly felt like he loved them…

Zoro went over the encounter this morning quickly in his mind, desperately analyzing it for the moment that he was sure that Sanji had says something like _I don’t want you, I’m straight and this can never happen again…_

But he hadn’t said that had he?

He’d been saying something about this _kind_ of sex… Zoro had assumed he meant gay sex (like he was sure most rational people would think) but could Sanji have been referring to casual sex…

Like the sex that Zoro always had and was known for…

Zoro couldn’t believe it. Could Sanji have thought that Zoro wanted him for a quick fuck?!

Then he remembers what he _said._

It was a _pity fuck_ … and that it was a mistake. His words not Sanji’s.

“Zoro,” Robin says softly now, and Zoro turns back to her, heart thumping maddeningly. Could… could this be a misunderstanding…?

“Shit,” he says, and his breath is again catching, but not with despair, but with rapidly growing hope and elation. It feels like a balloon is slowly filling him up.

Robin gives him a smile then, and its reflected around the others too.

“He’s going to Sabaody Airport,” She says. “You should hurry. His flight in is an hour.”

“Take my car,” Usopp says, and throws him the car keys. Zoro nods blurrily.

“This is so beautiful!” Franky basically cries, as Zoro leaps from his chair.

“Yeah go Zoro!” Chopper yells. Luffy laughs loudly. Nami gives him an eye roll and a punch on the shoulder.

“Use the GPS in Usopp’s car,” she tells him. “You don’t want to get lost.”

It’s a real testament to how frazzled he feels that he doesn’t fight her on the job. He merely nods at her.

“Go get your man bro!” Franky sobs.

Zoro races to the door, and the last thing he hears is from Brook.

“It’s about time, I’ve wanted those two to get together form the moment I laid eyes on them.”

But he has no time to respond or thank them all. He only hears the front door slam as he leaps the porch steps and reaches the car. He glances at his phone, ready to tap in the address for the airport into his GPS.

He stops though when he looks at the date.

Its November 10.

He laughs in amazement. There’s no way… his birthday is tomorrow. Which means that this is only a few days off from when Sanji and him had both gotten drunk and made a stupid contract in a dorm room in college…

There might be time for one more detour, before he races to the airport.

After all, he has one stupid but special napkin to pick up from his desk drawer.


	9. Landing

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” ~ Rumi

* * *

16 Years Ago

 

“Zoro!”

Luffy’s voice, which is always loud and proud, is especially loud, as he shouts right in Zoro’s ear. He also tackles Zoro from behind, a long wiry arm wrapping dangerously around Zoro’s neck.

“Luffy!” Zoro complains, trying to pry the skinny arms away from his body.

This is not how he wanted the morning of his freshman year to start. He was hoping to not attract attention at all. He simply wanted to start his day quietly and get through it without any sort of attention or fanfare as painlessly as possible.

Zoro is not very excited about this year at all, mostly because he’s back in school with Kuina, who is a sophomore now. He remembered what it was like to go to school with Kuina and isn’t looking forward to living in her shadow throughout high school. Kuina is good at _everything._ She has plenty of trophies for a variety of sports, clubs, and academic achievements sitting in gleaming cases around the school, that make her popular with practically every teacher and student in this place. Her popularity feels like a mine field for Zoro. It feels like it will be impossible for him to carve out his own achievements that won’t be overshadowed by hers…  

Not that he _has_ any achievements or ambitions really. His goal for high school is to get done it as quickly as possible with the barest of minimum effort. But being compared to his over achieving sister never helps.

Luffy is, as usual, a curse and a blessing for this plan. Luffy has no interest in normal typical things, like clubs and sports, but he does get Zoro involved in random useless crap.

Like right now, while he is partially strangling Zoro he’s yelling at him excitedly about something that seems really dumb.

“I just met the most amazing chef in the world!”

“What?” Zoro asks, finally extracting his excitable friend from around his neck, to scowl at him furiously.

“A _chef_ Zoro,” Luffy says slower, as if this will make Zoro understand better. “He works in a restaurant and everything.”

Zoro still just stares at Luffy, blankly. Luffy grabs Zoro and shakes him by the arms, still grinning way to wide. “Zoro this means _free meat!”_

Zoro snorts and loosens Luffy’s fingers from around his arms again. “Doubt it means that Luffy. What makes you think this guy would do something as stupid as feed you free food?”

Luffy pouts immediately, sticking out his bottom lip like a four-year-old. “Aw don’t say that Zoro, Sanji is really nice. Here come with me! You can meet him.”

Luffy doesn’t waste time to hear Zoro’s reply, only yanking him by the arm down the hallway packed with pimply and awkward high school students. One of which is apparently a cook, who might give Luffy free meat.

Zoro lets out a long sigh but continues following Luffy anyways. He’s learned after so long with being Luffy’s friend, its sometimes better not to fight it.

“There he is!” Luffy shouts, and waves a long arm over the crowd, even jumping up and down trying to get someone’s attention.

Zoro follows Luffy’s enthusiastic gaze, across a long sea of people, to see one boy with bright blonde hair looking back.

He’s scrawny and as awkward as any of the other teenagers here. His hair is too shiny, and his clothes look much too fancy for high school. As Luffy drags them closer, Zoro can smell cologne wafting off the guy, and notices his hair covers half his face like he’s some wannabe emo. Zoro can tell just by looking at him, scowling angrily at Luffy, that they probably won’t get along.

It’s proved only a moment later, when the guy opens his mouth to speak.

“What the hell do you want, shitty kid?” He growls, crossing his arms, and glaring at Luffy angrily.

“Meat! Er- well and also to introduce you to my friend Zoro!” Luffy hastily corrects, and gestures to Zoro like he’s a grand thing to show off.

Zoro and the blonde- Sanji, Luffy called him- size each other up swiftly. Zoro takes in the closer picture of what he saw from afar and is still not impressed. He can tell by the time he gets to the guy’s sneering face, that he feels the same way.

They glare at each other with suspicion, to which Luffy is oblivious to.

“So, when can you cook me meat, Sanji?” Luffy asks, drool already collecting on the sides of his mouth.

Sanji rolls his eyes. “I never said I would cook for you, asshole.”

“Awww… please Sanji. I’m hungry,” Luffy complains.

“Ugh... fine… maybe,” Sanji says, actually caving to Luffy’s demands, to Zoro’s surprise. Then he glances at Zoro, his eyes still glaring at him like he wants to drill a hole in his head.

“And is your grass head friend going to want some food too?”

Zoro stiffens at the insult, feeling his upper lip curl back into a snarl.

“Sure!” Luffy shouts happily, just as Zoro talks over him.

“What the hell did you call me, jerk wad?”

“I called you a grass head, cause of the green hair. What are you a moron?” Sanji says lightly, looking at Zoro with amusement.

“At least I don’t have curly eyebrows or am a stupid cook. What do you grill your eggs on your own forehead?”

Sanji looks enraged, and steps towards Zoro as if intent on punching him. But just as he moves the bell rings, halting his process, and disappointing Zoro at the same time.

“Next time, Moss Head,” Sanji growls, giving him one final glare as he grabs his back pack and moves away from Zoro and Luffy.

“Yeah, fuck you, curly brow,” Zoro growls back.

They exchange one last look of loathing before Sanji disappears into the sea of people.

Zoro follows the other’s back for a while longer, feeling the animosity growing inexplicably inside him.

He has no idea why, but that guy really bugged him.

He’s interrupted from his – rather murderous- thoughts when Luffy laughs loudly again, staring at Zoro intelligently.

“What?” Zoro asks, a bit defensively. Luffy seems to be grinning at _him_ after all.

“I just knew you guys would hit it off, “Luffy says, his Cheshire grin encompasses almost this whole face now.

“What?” Zoro barks in surprise. “We literally just fought the whole time we talked. It was our _first_ meeting Luffy.”

Luffy merely laughs shaking his head stubbornly. “Right, Zoro. But you never fight with anyone like that.”

Zoro furrows his brows as Luffy, obviously done with the conversation, takes off down the hall to their next class.

Zoro follows more slowly in his wake, scowling at the ground as he walks.

There’s no way what Luffy said is correct. The only thing that Zoro feels about that prick is dislike so far. He doubts there’s much else that will change that.

Zoro, resolved in this fact, follows Luffy, deciding to put the blonde out of his mind for the rest of the day.

Although, as the day progresses, he still hears Sanji’s voice echoing in his head now and again, with the annoying insults.

_Next time … Moss Head._

* * *

5 hours from now.

 

The airport is busy… like it always is. And Zoro isn’t the only one racing around frantically. Brook texts him and tells him what gate the detectives say that Sanji and his escorts were going to. It seems that Sanji had skipped the good-bye breakfast and taken the witness protection that Robin provided.

He was at Gate A. Zoro races there but gets confused at least three times. He can almost feel every second ticking away as he races through the airport. Can almost feel the rapidly decreasing hour dissolving and with it, the very last chance he has left to set things right.

Finally, he sees Gate A grittily etched above him on the wall.

He feels his heart shrink in relief and quickly scans the faces of the crowd, looking for a blond splash of hair…

Instead, he sees a very pretty women, with long brown hair, walking towards him.

Pudding.

He’s shocked to see her and, as his eyes meet hers, she seems equally surprised.

They stand awkwardly across from each other for a moment.

Zoro feels panicky. She’s here, so… does this mean she’s also looking for Sanji? What if she’s here to ask him to take her back?

Zoro knows Sanji, and he has no doubt in his mind that if Pudding asks him to do it, if any girl asks Sanji to do something, then he would do it… no matter what that might cost –

But no. Hadn’t Zoro just gone over this with the others? Sanji has changed. Hadn’t Sanji lamented to Zoro a few days ago about the way he treated women? He kept telling Zoro all the problems in his and Pudding’s marriage after all. And Sanji seemed to realize how unhealthy it was just as much as Zoro did.

Surely, he could trust Sanji not to do this _now_ … right?

Besides, Pudding doesn’t look happy. Her eyes are watery, and she looks tired. And she’s alone.

He stares at Pudding and feels a ripple of rage at the pain Sanji has been through, and places it squarely on her shoulders. He grits his teeth and looks past her, starting to walk forward.

He brushes past her, deciding not to give her a second glance. Almost hissing _bitch_ under his breath but refraining. That seemed a bit far, and something Sanji would not approve off.

“Wait,” she calls to him softly, after he’s only taken a few steps away from her. Zoro debates about just walking, but her voice is so fragile sounding that he pauses, reluctantly.  

He only turns halfway to look at her though, and he doesn’t speak yet, only cocking an eyebrow at her expectantly.

She stares at him, and her eyes fill with tears again.

“I can see you hate me,” she whispers softly.

Zoro feels an internal sigh go through him. He turns, deciding to give Pudding one more minute of his time. He has to find Sanji soon after all.

“I don’t give a shit about you,” He spits at her.

Pudding’s face hardens.

“I didn’t mean for Sanji to get hurt. I didn’t want to hurt him at all-”

Zoro snorts.

“Yeah right,” He says with a scoff.

She studies him closely for a moment and then shakes her head, a sarcastic smile taking over her mouth.

“He told you everything didn’t he?” She says, with a small sarcastic scoff. “Typical. Of course, he would tell _you._ ”

Zoro isn’t sure what Pudding means, and he has half a mind to just leave again, especially if she’s going to be bitchy…

But curiosity gets the better of him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He says gruffly and crosses his arms tightly over his chest, in a slightly defensive gesture.

Pudding rolls her red rimmed eyes. 

“You don’t understand anything Roronoa Zoro, “She spits, with another scoff. Her eyes were gleaming with some kind of furious emotion. She kept talking, her voice full of a stifled rage. “Do you want to know the real reason Sanji and I never worked? You want to know what the _real_ problem always was?”

“Uh,” Zoro mumbles, not sure what to say to this obvious rhetorical question.

Not waiting for his answer, anyways, Pudding points a shaky finger at him. “It was because of you. It was always because of you. He never loved me like he…like he loved you.”

She takes a shaky breath, and drops her hand, looking like she might start crying again.

Zoro gapes at her. And he knows she was hoping he would feel guilty or ashamed, but all he feels is that balloon of hope rapidly filling him more and more…

But he still feels a bit indignant as well. It wasn’t like it was his fault their marriage fell apart. He wasn’t even present for most of it.

“I’m pretty sure it was the cheating and the … choices you made,” he says pointedly.

Her eyes narrow, and she clenches her fists by her side.

“I loved Sanji more then anything,” She whispers. “I tried to protect him from my family. I did everything I could to protect him. I knew if we ever had children… they would be just another thing they could use against us. I knew what the world I lived in wants from them. I thought I could start a family with Sanji. I thought-”

“You know what I don’t give a shit about your excuses,” Zoro says with a snort. “He says you both fucked it up. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

She looks furious for a moment, that gleam in her eyes dangerous, and then suddenly her faces changes and she looks away.

She turns back to him, and she looks determined.

“Just… take care of him … Zoro…” she says. “I’ll … let you know when its safe for him again…”

“Fine,” He grunts, he turns, finally happy to be done with her, but she calls to him once more.

“Zoro.”

He looks back at her, and she gives him an indiscernible look, then glances to the side.

“Thank you,” she breathes out quietly.  

Before he can ask her what she means, she turns and hurries away, disappearing into the crowd.

Zoro looks after her for only a moment. He shrugs off the weird conversation, wishing he hadn’t stopped at all for her and lamenting at the time he’d wasted talking to her.

He hurriedly continues to look for his blonde.

It isn’t long, this time, before he miraculously sees him, heading towards the security line, two cops beside him.

Zoro’s heart skips in fear. If Sanji goes through security, there’s not way he’ll be able to catch him, before he’s gone.

He breaks out into a dead run and starts shouting.

“Sanji!”

There’s not time for stupid nicknames or false pretending right now. Only the time slowly ticking away and Sanji taking a few steps further and further away from him.

“Sanji!” He bellows.

A few people turn to stare at him, but he ignores them. Sanji didn’t’ hear him. He runs faster, pushing people to the side, and gets closer to security.

“Sanji!” he shouts again, and this time he sees the blonde turn, blue eyes wide with astonishment.

Zoro locks eyes with Sanji and doesn’t take his eyes off him until he’s standing before him, his chest heaving.

“Zoro?” Sanji looks at him incredulously. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Sanji,” Zoro repeats with a gasp, desperate to finally get the words out he’s been trying to say for years now. What he should have said last night. What he should have said the moment he realized how much Sanji meant to him.

“Forget this plane…” He says breathlessly. “Fly with me.”

Sanji gives Zoro a look of exasperation.

“That’s why you’re here? Look don’t worry about that. I don’t mind flying coach-”

“No,” Zoro says and grabs Sanji’s hand. It makes Sanji blush. Zoro can feel Sanji’s pulse thumping in his wrist, gaining momentum, and matching Zoro’s racing heart too.

Matched up perfectly.

“I mean… fly _with_ me. _Be_ with me. _Stay_ with me,” He continues, feeling sappy as shit, but feeling the words falling from him as if he’d practiced them as much as a grand speech.

These words, however, are free form, and totally unprepared, but they feel incredibly right.

And besides… racing to find Sanji at an airport. Can he get any more romantic? Does he even need a prepared love confession?

“Sanji,” Zoro says and with a big breath, that seems to come form the soles of his feet, he says the three words he should have told Sanji that night in college, or that day he crashed Kietsu, or when Sanji had met Pudding. Three words that had seemed to drive Zoro crazy, had given heart ache beyond belief, and were worth every moment for the wonderful man before him.

“I love you.”

Sanji stares at him, and there’s no disgust, no horror, awkwardness, nervousness or looking away.

Sanji merely stares at him... happily.

But Zoro knew he would.

“But… you said,” Sanji mumbles, and Zoro just shakes his head.

“I thought you were… rejecting me. I was, you know, self destructing,” Zoro says with a sigh.

Sanji laughs breathlessly. It makes him look beautiful. Damn it.

Zoro can hardly stop himself from kissing him right there in Gate A in the airport, in front of Brook’s detectives, and a few onlookers, a few of them not looking very approving of gay romance…

But Zoro doesn’t care.

But he does have one more thing to do before he kisses the man before him.

He reaches in his back pocket and pulls out the wrinkled napkin they made 10 years ago, almost to the date.

Sanji stares at it and then locks eyes with Zoro.

“I always knew you were a romantic you dope.”

Zoro smirks.

“I have my moments Cook. So… are you going to honour our agreement?”

Sanji rolls his eyes, “I wrote that when I was drunk. It has plenty of holes…”

But Zoro shuts him up with an abrupt kiss. The kiss is short, fierce and full of hope. Zoro grips Sanji tightly to him, and he feels Sanji kissing him back, just as fiercely.

They break a part for a moment, as there’s a smattering of applause from the small crowd.

“I love you too,” Sanji whispers his ear. “Sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”

Zoro steps back to look at Sanji and takes it all in. Taking Sanji in. Sanji, who looks tired and worried. Who has a gaping wound still in his side, and ruffled hair like he forgot to comb it. And Zoro’s smile, as wide as the sun.

This moment will forever be etched into his heart.

Zoro has questions for Sanji, he supposes. Questions about Sanji’s own journey. How Sanji had realized he wasn’t as straight as he always thought. Sanji who had somehow found he loved Zoro at some point in the last 16 years too…

But in this simple but extraordinary moment, it just doesn’t matter.

Sanji loves Zoro. Sanji _loves_ him. The words ring in his head like the happiest of music, echoing clearly through any lingering doubts he still clung too.

He lets out a laugh, barely able to contain the relief and freedom his heart feels. He reaches forward and embraces Sanji tightly.

What a fucking mess this had been, _they_ had been… but then again when _weren’t_ they?

And as he moves his hand to bury it deeper in Sanji’s light golden hair, and hearing Sanji letting out an incredulous, but happy, laugh as well, he feels the napkin slip from his fingers, and flutter softly to the floor.

He sees their names still messily scrawled on it in fading ink, and can’t help but think, the scarp of paper, finally brought them together at last.

* * *

Now

 

Wado hums beneath Zoro’s fingertips as he flies her low over the last of the mountains on his left. They’re full and green and seem to roll forever on and on. They’re brilliantly lit up with the last rays of the sun, the mountain in the background looking black against the rapidly darkening sky.

To Zoro’s right is the ocean. The last rays of the sun are reflecting on the water, illuminating it in a fiery ripple. It looks breathtaking from up here, above the world and all its tiny problems. This is Zoro’s favorite time to fly, but for the first time since getting in a plane and soaring away, he doesn’t feel distanced from the ground or the people that live there.

He feels like the world is open with possibilities. The sky and the ground feel equally free.

He has a feeling he’ll find Mihawk, and fulfill his promises to Kuina soon…

And all these fluttery butter light feelings are because beside him, looking down at the ground with childlike wonder, is Sanji.

Zoro watches as the sun rays light up his face, his hair, his blue eyes, and feels a peaceful happiness flow through him like calming waves, lapping one after another as he reaches out a hand towards Sanji.

As he reaches towards him, his hand brushes an old napkin with faded ink scribbled on it, that he’s carefully pinned right in the center dash.

Sanji locks eyes with him when their hands touch, and with a smile as bright as the sun, that makes Zoro’s heart skyrocket, higher than any plane he’s ever flew, he looks at Zoro with love and acceptance.

He squeezes his hand back.

And they continue to fly into the endless blue.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! Thanks so much for all your kudos, comments and bookmarks!  
> It was really fun writing this, and hopefully I'll be back with some more stories before too long!  
> Bye for now ❤ ❤


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